Monthly Archives: February 2023

On Practicing Daily Love…

15 Wednesday Feb 2023

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Photo credit: https://www.foodandwine.com/news/most-popular-valentines-day-candy-every-state-2022

As our girls age, they take on more independence.  Recently, that took the form of preparing Valentines to exchange with classmates.  Our younger daughter had already done this for years, so she knew the drill.  In fact, I came downstairs to find her packaging the Valentines kits we had procured.  As she wrapped up, she explained to me she was leaving one Valentine undone for the new kid in her class.  “I don’t know him well enough yet.”  I asked her why that would prevent her from addressing a Valentine to him, and she explained how each person was receiving a personalized note from her.  “Dear X, You are kind.  Happy Valentine’s Day.”  Or, “Dear Y, I like your laugh.”  And another, “Dear Z, You are fun to play with.” 

Yesterday, as she packaged up the completed Valentines, I asked her what she wrote for the new student.  She settled on, “Dear W, I like how calm you are.”  I sent her off to school in awe, wishing I could claim credit for the thoughtful, generous kid she has become, but knowing I could not claim credit for her Valentine kindness.

The more I thought about her notes, the more I thought how my daughter has internalized the loving eyes of God.  Thinking of faults in others is easy.  Somedays we can think of nothing but those faults.  But thinking of goodness in each person is actually harder than it seems – especially for that coworker whose moods drive you crazy, that committee member who always stirs the pot in meetings, or that family member who is always criticizing you or your choices.  I can attest to the fact that as lovely as my daughter’s notes were, she has registered complaints about almost every classmate of hers at some point in the school year.

Instead of dwelling on the glory (or lack) of romantic love in your life this February, I invite you instead to adopt the practice of daily love.  Maybe you start with the people in your life who bring you joy.  Let them know which of their attributes you really appreciate.  But then try daily love with the hard ones in your life:  the curmudgeon, the nagger, the expert in passive aggression.  Even if you cannot immediately say the words aloud, challenge yourself to think of one lovely thing about that person.  When you finally gain the courage, then find a way to share that loving regard – maybe aloud, maybe in a quick email or text, maybe in an old-fashioned card.  I can’t wait to hear how the practice of daily loves starts shifting your eyesight!

Sermon – Matthew 5.21-37, Sirach 15.15-20, EP6, YA, February 12, 2023

15 Wednesday Feb 2023

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As a teenager, in my rural southern United Methodist Church, our Sunday School class each week was an in-depth Bible Study of some book of the Bible.  I have a distinct memory of one particular class where a condemning text arose about divorce.  My Sunday School teacher herself was divorced and was happily and healthily remarried.  I remember being aghast and indignant about the text, questioning my teacher about how divorce could be seen in such a condemning way, holding in my mind how beautiful my teacher’s current marriage was.  Her response to me was a defeated admission of judgement for herself and her husband that would not be remedied.

Once upon a time, I might have told you that faulty biblical interpretation like this is what drove me from the Methodist church to the Episcopal Church.  But the truth is, there have been many a times when Episcopalians do not fare much better.  When confronted with gospel lessons like we have today from Matthew, most Episcopalians are more likely to either brush hard texts under the rug, or minimize and point you to something shiny, like “It’s all about love, so don’t worry about that pesky Biblical passage.” 

Instead, today I invite us to acknowledge that Jesus’ words in Matthew’s gospel are hard.  When Jesus tells us we cannot approach the altar without being reconciled in our broken relationships, or that our natural urges are so destructive we should gouge out our eyes, or that divorcing or lying are gravely dangerous offenses, we get nervous and even defensive.  Where is that Jesus of love we like so much?  Is not this a place where we claim all are welcome?

In order to understand scripture today – in a way that is neither defeatistly resigned nor superficially glossed over – the discomfort we may be feeling today is actually a good thing.  The first thing you need to know about Jesus is that he was a skilled rhetorician.  Much of what you hear today about ripping eyes out and cutting off hands are used not literally, but figuratively to point to something very important:  the central importance of relationships in the community of the faithful.[i]  Jesus wants to shock and provoke, to unsettle and destabilize, because he wants to invite a reorientation.[ii]  I find theologian Stanley Hauerwas’ explanation the most helpful.  He argues, “Jesus does not imply that we are to be free of either anger or lust; that is, he assumes that we are bodily beings.  Rather he offers us membership in a community in which our bodies are formed in service to God and for one another so that our anger and our lust are transformed…Jesus is not recommending that we will our way free of lust and anger, but rather he is offering us membership in a people that is so compelling we are not invited to dwell on ourselves or our sinfulness…If we are a people committed to peace in a world of war, if we are a people committed to faithfulness in a world of distrust, then we will be consumed by a way to live that offers freedom from being dominated by anger or lust.”[iii]

Now I can tell you about how progressive Jesus words are about divorce since women were socially and economically marginalized by divorce at the time,[iv] or I could address anger, lying, or lust.  But all of these four vignettes are meant to point our attention not to the salacious nature of Jesus’ words, but what Jesus is trying to do for us.  Being a part of Hickory Neck or the wider body of Christ means our bodies are part of Christ’s body – that, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer suggests, we are so in communion with Jesus’ body that our infidelity is not just a sin against our own body, but against Jesus’ body.[v]  We come here not just to reassure our own selves, and to find restoration for our souls, but also to be a part of something bigger.  To become disciples, finding a purpose much bigger than our naturally self-centered ways, means becoming part of the larger body of Christ – a body that mends broken relationships, restores others to wholeness, and values the dignity of every human being.

The good news is that you do not join that body of discipleship alone.  Everyone of us here is on the journey to being a different kind of human than the outside world would have us be.  In fact, the reason we do this work together is we are better together than we ever could be on our own.  We hold each other accountable, we keep working on reconciliation when we fail, we offer grace and love in our very humanness.  The choice is ours.  As Sirach aptly describes today, the choice is always before us – the choice of life or death, of fire or water.  Our invitation today is to choose relationship – to choose the life of discipleship that joins us to the body of Christ, that roots us in the love of Christ, and enables our work of light in the world.  We cannot do the work alone.  Our invitation is to choose the love and light of Christ that we find his body, the Church, and in the relationships we find here.  Amen. 

[i] Ronald J. Allen, “Homiletical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A, Vol. 1 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 359.

[ii] Anna Case-Winters, Matthew.  Belief:  A Theological Commentary on the Bible (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2015), 84.

[iii] Stanley Hauerwas, Matthew:  Brazos Theological Commentary on the Bible (Grand Rapids:  Brazos Press, 2006),  69.

[iv] Case-Winters, 81.

[v] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, as referenced by Hauerwas, 70.

Sermon – 1 Corinthians 1.10-18, EP3, YA, January 22, 2023

15 Wednesday Feb 2023

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The following sermon was delivered as the Annual Address at Hickory Neck Episcopal Church.

A few months ago, we had a fellowship event on campus that had a large group of parishioners who did not necessarily know each other.  As we made introductions around the room, I noticed a trend.  People began their Hickory Neck story with a reference to our history:  I came in the Kellett days; I came to Hickory Neck through Father Michael; I started at Hickory Neck about the same time Mother Jennifer did.  As I surveyed the room, I knew there would be parishioners who needed to introduce themselves who had never heard of the previous clergy, let alone how their personalities and ministries were different.  Suddenly, I realized there were going to be people who are a part of the Hickory Neck family whose stories start with, “I joined in the pandemic days.”  I have always bragged about how we are a diverse community politically.  But our diversity is so much bigger than our political differences:  we came here at various historical points, from very different denominational backgrounds, at different stages of life (whether as a young singleton, a new parent, or a new retiree).  Even out of your four affiliated clergy, not one of us is a cradle Episcopalian.

I love then, on this day of our Annual Meeting, that we get this reading from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians.  When Paul gathered the church in Corinth, he “attempted what scarcely anyone has tried before.  A church composed of rich and poor, Jew and Greek, and slave and free,” with none of the “normal bonds of ethnicity and family that holds a community together.”  As one scholar explains, with such diversity, the factions in Corinth were likely inevitable.[i]  To this unusual combination of people, Paul asks them to be united in the same mind and the same purpose, that everyone be in agreement and there be no division among them.  Anyone who has ever tried to accomplish anything with a group of two or more people knows this request from Paul is endearing, if not laughable.  Bless Paul’s heart!

But having gotten to know the stories of the people in this room, Paul’s encouragement for us to be united in the same mind and purpose is exactly what we are going to be doing in 2023 at Hickory Neck.  We have had an incredible year leading up to this new start.  We have worshiped and learned apart during yet another shutdown, we have gained new members who found us online, we have welcomed longtimers back after a multi-year hiatus, and we have brought along neighbors and friends who just wanted to find a community where they could belong.  We have baptized, married, and buried.  We have celebrated, grieved, and grown.  We have said goodbye and lots more hellos.  And now we find ourselves at the start line of 2023 in a season of vibrancy, of hope, of promise. 

I confess, I am feeling more invigorated and excited about Hickory Neck than I have at any other time in our almost seven years together.  We have an almost entirely new staff:  a staff who is extraordinarily talented, creative, passionate, and fun-loving.  We have a Vestry who is not only a brilliant combination of longtimers and newer members, but also a group who is dedicated to strategic thinking and leadership – not to mention laughter and love.  We have a Sabbatical Team who has thoughtfully and lovingly prepared a twelve-week plan of renewal and community-building activities that will bring health, refreshment, and renewed discipleship to our parish.  And we have some percolating ministries that are going to help us grow our stewardship, evangelism, formation, community engagement, and worship.

One of the things we teach our Vestry about every year is about church-size dynamics.  There is a whole science about behaviors and leadership patterns that are indicative of a church’s size.  A church who is family-sized, with just a few family units is run collectively and where everyone knows everyone else, whereas a corporate-sized parish has a highly structured leadership system and people find a sense of community through smaller groups within the larger system.  In that scientific analysis, Hickory Neck is situated in the most challenging size:  the transitional-sized parish.  We are not so small that everyone knows everyone or that one pastor can be hands on with every member; but we are also not so big that we are in a more complex and large-staffed system.  The reason our size is challenging is because there is always a tension:  a pull to be smaller, and more intimate, and a pull to grow and focus on programming and creating intimacy in multiple small group settings.  That tension has been here throughout my tenure at Hickory Neck, and I feel that tension acutely as we emerge from this pandemic:  where we have the choice to shrink into a more comfortable, manageable size, or to grow into a dynamic, changing size requiring creativity around funding, programming, and invitation.

Living in tension year after year can feel exhausting.  But living in tension can also be transformational.  When carbon is put into tremendous pressure, a diamond emerges.  I think Paul wanted the Corinthians to know that they were under that same kind of diamond-making pressure.  His advice for those hoping to become diamonds?  Be united in the same mind and the same purpose.  And how, might you wonder will the Corinthians (or Hickory Neckers) accomplish such a feat?  According to Paul, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Whether you found Hickory Neck when children were sitting in the window wells of the Historic Chapel because there was no room elsewhere, whether you were crowded into this newly constructed space with hopes and dreams about where we would go, whether a preschool on our campus meant an encounter with our community, or whether a livestream gave you a peak that made you want more – we are a community united in purpose and mind:  to seek and serve Christ, to make Christ known, to love neighbor as self, to experience belonging and meaning.  In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, you will be invited into a year of pressure and transformation.  The promise is a diverse community who is ready to emerge with you.  Amen.

[i] James W. Thompson, “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A, Vol. 1 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 279.

Sermon – John 1.29-42, EP2, YA, January 15, 2023

15 Wednesday Feb 2023

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In my first position as a Rector, we had a wonderful facilitator for one of our Vestry Retreats.  The first question she asked is for us to tell her what we love about our church.  Everyone thought for a minute and then slowly we shared stories of what brought us to the church, what was meaningful, or what keeps us coming back.  It was a quiet, thoughtful conversation, as people really pondered why we were there.  Then the retreat leader asked us to tell her about the best meal we ever ate.  Well, the mood of the room totally flipped, and people’s faces lit up as they described succulent meals, decadent desserts, and mouthwatering food experiences.  We laughed and delighted in the stories as people gesticulated their enthusiasm and were almost tripping over one another as we remembered other amazing meals we have had.

Once we settled down, the facilitator asked us to note the total difference in our descriptions between what we love about our church and what we love about the best food we ever ate.  The question was not meant to shame us (though we did feel a little sheepish), but to help us see how blocked we sometimes get when talking about our love for our church.  Clearly, we have the capacity to witness – albeit to witness to an amazing meal.  But something about culture mores or maybe a history with a bad evangelism encounter makes us much more reticent to invite others into our joy.

I have been thinking about that hesitancy or inability this week as I read our gospel story today.  Although we always call him John the Baptist, one scholar suggests that in John’s gospel, John the Baptist really should be called John the Witness:  because that’s the emphasis of the fourth gospel – not John’s work of baptizing, but John’s work of witnessing to Jesus’ identity.[i]  In the portion of the fourth gospel we read today, John the Witness is a little like someone raving about the best thing they ever ate.  We are told that after the officials spend time inquiring about John’s identity, the next day, John is found shouting after the approaching Jesus, “‘Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!  This is he of whom I said, ‘After me comes a man who ranks ahead of me because he was before me.’”  John’s cheerleading continues the next day when he sees Jesus again and says, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!”  John is so passionate about Jesus that even John’s followers drop John and follow after Jesus:  a result of which I have to believe John is wholly supportive.

Now I imagine you are sitting there, tensing up a bit, waiting for me to tell you to go get a megaphone and some pom poms because we have some witnessing to do!  The good news is your only partially right.  Here is what I know.  You came here today (either in person or online) for a reason.  Maybe this community helps you find a sense of purpose and meaning.  Maybe this community brings you a sense of comfort and belonging.  Maybe this community is helping you find you way to or enrich your relationship with Jesus.  Whatever the reason, that reason is your witness.  That reason is this beautiful, sacred thing, that when you do not share with others is like refusing to give a gift to others.  I know you may feel awkward, or like you don’t have “holy enough” words, or that you might even be rejected or disdained.  The truth is your words do not even really matter when you are witnessing – what will matter is the way your face transforms when you talk about how this place has impacted your walk with God.  And if using the word witness makes your stomach tense, then use the word invitation.

So, your invitation today is to begin embracing a practice of invitation.  Maybe you have no qualms pulling out that megaphone and pom poms for Jesus like John the Witness.  Maybe you will be you will be like Andrew in our passage today and drag your brother or friend along with you to church with a forceful, “Come on!”  Or maybe your invitation will be as soft as Jesus’ to the new disciples asking questions, who simply says, “Come and see.”[ii]  Someone in your own journey did that for you.  Maybe a long time ago or maybe very recently.  Maybe their words were loud and proud or maybe they were soft and encouraging.  But something in their countenance changed that made you want to see more.  Our invitation today is to share that same light with others, inviting them to come and see this place where you invest your time, your gifts, and your treasure.  Your invitation is to not hoard the gift of this place, but to share the gift of this place and your faith with others.  Amen.

[i] Karline M. Lewis, John:  Fortress Bibilcal Preaching Commentaries (Minneapolis:  Fortress Press, 2014), 27.

[ii] Greg Garrett, “Homiletical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A, Vol. 1 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 265.