Category Archives: reflection

On Change and Bread…

16 Wednesday Sep 2026

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Photo credit: https://foragersofhappiness.com/beginner-sourdough-bread-recipe/

On Sundays at church, we’ve been reading our way through Genesis and Exodus.  Last week we just read about the parting of the Red Sea.  This coming week, we find the freed people of Israel complaining about hunger.  In Exodus 16.3, the people of God complain, “If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” 

These faithful people went through a brutal, oppressive enslavement and witnessed a miraculous freeing by God – walking through a parted sea while their enemies were crushed.  They have everything they ever wanted – true freedom.  And yet, here they are, at the first sign of adversity, looking longingly back at slavery, because at least there, you were fed. 

I love that one of the powerhouses of the Old Testament, Moses, was the first to experience change management.  Moses was the first in what would become millennia of rabbis, pastors, and faith leaders who will hear, “I wish things were like they used to be!”  All those leaders have come to know that the hardest part about change is experiencing the discomfort of the new, next thing.  Any trace of difficulty or adjustment immediately sends people into romanticizing the way things used to be – remembering only the good of the past, and not all the equally bad or much worse parts of the past. 

As I think about the ungrateful and unbalanced perspective of the people of God, I wonder what things we are romanticizing in our lives.  What change are we bemoaning without appreciating all the ill we left behind – and some of the really great things in this new reality?  The good news is that we have a responsive God.  Despite the Israelites’ moaning, God provides them food that they need – even if that food came in a different form.  Our promise is the same.  God expects us to be in relationship so that God can be responsive.  Our work is to be open to the manna that might not look like sourdough loafs we love, but that feeds us in new ways.

On Realizing Dreams…

09 Wednesday Sep 2026

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Photo credit: https://blog.gophersport.com/non-competitive-school-community-field-day/

This Sunday our church will host its annual “Rally Sunday,” the day to celebrate the kickoff of the program year and all the ministry we enjoy.  Usually that means registration for things like Sunday School, a fun ice cream social, and seeing some faces that may have missed as they enjoyed travels, took a break from “school year activities,” and generally used the summer for a bit of rest and renewal.  This year, our Rally Sunday has two unusual features:  the celebration of the 20th birthday of our “New Chapel,” and the addition of our inaugural “Field Day.”

These two additions have been bringing me great joy as I anticipate our Rally Sunday.  The celebration of our New Chapel’s birthday has been a lovely exercise in reminiscing, reconnecting with parishioners who were a part of the construction process, but maybe have relocated in the last twenty years, and learning more about our history.  The preparation has meant seeing a painting I didn’t know existed of the groundbreaking for the New Chapel, reading news articles about the process of construction, and hearing stories from longtime members about the excitement of adding more space and conveniences than our almost 300-year-old tiny “Historic Chapel” ever has allowed.  The generation that built the New Chapel was able to envision a future yet to be realized.

The addition of the Field Day has me excited about what new future is being realized.  Though the increase in families with young children has been a gift to us in the last 5-6 years, what I have loved watching is the families creating a community within the community.  They have found their own way of group conversation – not organized by a coordinator but organically organized by taking the reins and making the community their own.  They share resources, plan outings, organize events like a community yard sale, and most recently, conceive of a field day for our parishioners to connect across generations.  This will mean that elders will run stations like three-legged races or bean bag tosses.  This will mean parents will get to watch their children play, entrusting the community to shepherd and delight in their children.  This will mean children will get to know adults other than their parents in a playful way.  In one afternoon, our community is manifesting and living into the vision that countless Vestries have articulated over the years.

All that is to say, Church can be a place where sacred community is cultivated, where connection and belonging is extended, and where joy and celebration is rooted in a place that reminds of the origin of all love and grace: Jesus Christ.  Like any institution made of humans, all churches have their flaws.  And, I love watching when churches live into their best selves.  If you’ve been searching for a sense of community, a sense of belonging and purpose, or a place to refresh your aching heart, you are certainly welcome at our church.  If you’re reading from afar, I invite you to consider finding a local church where you can find a similar meaningful community.  You are welcome here!

On Seeing the Kingdom…

02 Wednesday Sep 2026

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Photo cred: Stephanie Snow, as found at https://stephaniesnowphotography.com/7-poses-for-beach-pictures-for-your-family/

Every summer, our family travels to the beach.  But unlike traditional beach stays, we stay at a community house run through the Episcopal Church.  The house has 11 family rooms, shared living spaces, and two shared meals a day.  The house is only a few blocks from the beach and a couple more blocks to the boardwalk.  Staying in a community house certainly involves some uncertainty – you have no idea who will occupy the other 10 rooms:  singletons, couples, families with either young or older children, rooms occupied by friends of another room’s occupants, or grandparents, uncles or aunts, or cousins of other housemates.  Invariably, communal meals and living spaces are shared across generations, often with people who were strangers at the beginning of the week, but friends by the end.

This year, I was struck by the magic of the multigenerational nature of the house.  I watched as my preteen joined in games with older adults.  I watched as an elementary school-aged child reveled in the design of a birthday cake of someone in her late 60s.  I watched my high schooler talk about the local amusement park with one of the younger residents.  And probably most beautiful, I watched as each morning and evening, hands joined together across family and generational lines, to offer up prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude before meals.

Our experience at the beach reminds me so much of the same beauty I find at Church.  I love watching grandparent-aged folks marveling at the princess dresses of our young ones.  I love watching parents of young children kneel next to adults old enough to be their parents – and watching them exchange looks of awe as a young kid asks for a blessing.  I love watching hugs exchanged across generations, older members asking students about their studies and extracurricular activities, and parents welcome in a harried newcomer parent whose victory that day was just getting the whole family through the church doors. 

When folks are looking for a sense of community or even more specifically for a worshipping community, all sorts of factors come into play:  the music selections, the liturgy choices, the sermon style, or even the dress code.  But probably more important than those surface differences is the way a church makes you feel:  a sense of belonging, of affirmation, of spiritual guidance, of connection – to God and to others.  In “church speak,” you’re looking for the kingdom of God here on earth.  No church is perfect – because every church is made up of imperfect persons.  But when the Church is fully being its beautiful self, there’s a magic you cannot find elsewhere.  Come see for yourself, and fold yourself into the beauty of community!

On Movies, Community, and God…

05 Wednesday Aug 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.yourcentralvalley.com/digital-enterprise/central-valley-theaters-to-celebrate-national-popcorn-day/

This past weekend our family went to see a movie together.  That may sound like a common thing to do, but I cannot remember the last time all four of us not only all wanted to see the same movie, but also knew seeing the movie in the theater would be of particular value.  The experience was everything we had hoped it would be:  an exciting, engaging story, the sound and visuals so vivid that you felt the movie tangibly, and a storyline that left you with much to talk about afterwards on the ride home.

In addition to being everything we had hoped it would be as a family and as individuals, what the experience also provided was something I had not expected:  the experience of a shared movie in a theater that is quite full.  I have heard people wax about how watching a movie with a community is a different experience than watching a movie on a streaming service at home.  And while the argument makes sense intellectually, experiencing the difference in person was something different.  In part, I think the difference come from what changed for us during the pandemic:  how, in general, we came to see mass gatherings in enclosed spaces as unsafe.  Other factors come into play:  the cost of a movie that can be prohibitively expensive, the easy access of thousands of viewing options on our computers and TVs at home, the convenience of watching a film on your own couch, in pjs, with the ability to pause for any kind of personal needs. 

But none of that compares to the shared experience that can happen in community – even a community of strangers.  It started with the previews, as I audibly heard people grumble in disapproval for an upcoming movie (Too scary!  Too gory!  Too boring!), but continued as the feature film began.  The smell of buttery popcorn filling the air, and the quiet background noise of popcorn munching.  The collective jumps in seats all around you as something suddenly scared or surprised you.  The groans or hands covering eyes as something gross appeared.  Or the collective whispers of ascent or even outright cheers or laughs when something universally good happened. 

Sometimes that is what I love about Church so much.  I love the shared smiles when a familiar hymn starts playing.  I love the nods of ascents or the quiet that falls when a preacher says something particularly poignant.  I love the giddiness of children at Eucharist that can shake up even the most serious adult kneeling next to them.  And I love the sharing of those experiences as we depart as people say, “I really needed that today,” or “That one part really spoke to me today.”  Like a movie, Church can be both a collective experience (providing the comfort of shared community), and an experience that is individually experienced alongside others (we may not make the same meaning of things, but we were in the experience together).  You may or may not be motivated to go to the movies soon, but I hope you will consider making your way to the shared experience of Church.  I imagine there will be delightful surprises and shared common experiences that will awaken something in your spiritual walk with God this week!

On Loving Self and Loving Neighbor…

29 Wednesday Jul 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.christianitytoday.com/2018/10/just-kids-love-neighbor-as-yourself-mayfield/

Several weeks ago, I had a health event due to the extreme heat.  It was the first time I had experienced such a thing, and it threw me for a loop.  Since I had gotten to the point of crisis, I realized that maybe I didn’t know how to read my body as well as I thought I did.  Or maybe my body is just changing and I now need to read it differently.  Regardless, in the weeks since the event I have found myself looking inward a lot – analyzing miniscule details, observing new patterns, trying new practices, and being much more responsive to the weather forecast.

During my inner focus, our area experienced an air quality warning amidst high heat levels due to fires in Cananda.  The haze outside was thick and we were encouraged to stay inside as much as possible.  I was talking to my young daughter about the haze and the warning, still thinking about my recovering health, when she quite plainly asked, “But what about the homeless people in town, Mom?  How are they supposed to stay inside if they don’t have anywhere to go?”

Her simple question was like pulling the emergency break in my body.  Though prioritizing your health is important (helpers cannot help if they aren’t taking care of themselves first), I realized I had swung to an extreme such that I could only see myself and had paused my thinking about others.  It’s only human, and is certainly reflective of a unique short-term season, but it was eye-opening about how quickly we can forget the maximum of Jesus, “Love God.  Love Neighbor.”  If my relatively healthy body had been so impacted by the external environment, how at risk are my neighbors who are fighting not just the elements, but also a lack of basic needs like food, water, shelter, and clothing? 

I wonder what’s going on in your life that might have shifted your focus away from care of neighbor?  This is not an invitation into guilt.  This is an invitation into shifting energy – away from any wallowing you may be doing (about your body, your dissatisfaction with life, your frustration with the world) and toward something good – some change you can make for good.  Whether the invitation comes from a child, a random comment from a stranger, or the Holy Spirit:  how are you being invited to love your neighbor more fully today?

On GPS and Jesus…

08 Wednesday Jul 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.supermomshuffle.com/how-to-be-productive-in-the-car-every-day/

The other day I was coming home from a meeting and trying to get home quickly.  My GPS told me to go a way that I knew had ongoing construction delays, and so I defied the GPS and went another way that I knew would bypass the traffic.  Halfway through the bypass, GPS suggested another route, but I stubbornly refused, and kept going my own way.  And then I hit a wall of traffic.  I sat still for about twenty minutes with no real possibility for turning around legally before I was able to return to normal speed (and home 20-30 minutes later!).  Once I finally cleared the backup, I begrudgingly thought, “I always trust my GPS to get me out of binds on the road.  What made me think today that I knew better?!?” 

How many times have I had the exact same experience with God?  I hear a whispering of the Spirit to go another way, and immediately think, “No, that’s a waste of time.  I’ll do it my way.”  I get a nudge from God to take action, and I resist, responding, “I’ve seen how that turns out in the past.  I’ll stay the course.”  Or I hear Jesus speak clearly about a call, and my response is, “No way!  Not today, Jesus.”  In all of those instances, despite my lifelong relationship with God, and despite evidence to the contrary, I think I know better.  I try to keep hold of the reins, instead of listening to the wisdom of God.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  God, or Jesus, or even the Holy Spirit, isn’t like a GPS.  There’s no clear voice telling me what to do, and there’s no follow-up instruction about how to recalculate the route in life.  And while that certainly may be true, equally true is the fact that both tools test our notion of control.  Both invite us to trust they have our best interest in mind.  I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been rerouted by GPS off a major highway with massive delays onto a rural road in the middle of nowhere – praying that GPS knows what it’s doing and will return me to my route. 

Our relationship with God takes some of that blind trust too.  It feels similarly scary at times – almost like falling of a cliff, trusting a safe landing.  But unlike GPS, we only need to look at our scriptural Salvation Narrative, to look at a character like Jonah, or Ruth, or even Peter, to know that God faithfully guides us in the way to go.  Sometimes we jokingly say, “Jesus, take the wheel!”  I wonder where you’ve been refusing to give Jesus the wheel these days, and what fruit you might experience if you relented. 

On Getting It Right…

10 Wednesday Jun 2026

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Photo credit: https://iblp.org/what-power-spoken-blessing/

This coming Sunday our church is honoring a young parishioner who has just turned 13 – not because we want to celebrate a birthday, but because we want to honor the very real life-changes that are happening in the parishioner’s life at this significant developmental stage.  Last week, our Diocese hosted its inaugural Pride Service, where histories were retold, truths were honored, and where one queer attendee marveled, “I’ve never been to a worship service like this – especially not with my priest.”  And over the last six weeks, ten parishioners in our Discovery Class have been learning about the Episcopal Church, sharing their faith journeys, and asking hard questions about their faith and spiritual practices. 

What has struck me about all these experiences from church lately is how grateful I am that the Church is not at all afraid of the very real, honest, and vulnerable experience of being a human – and how the Church willingly steps along side us to help us make meaning.  What I have loved about these experiences is the absence of the word “should,” or any sense of judgment.  Instead, there is an abundance of wonder, curiosity, understanding, and care.  There has never been a feeling like something was taboo or inappropriate for question.  Sometimes just the naming of the thing – the transition, the hurt, the journey, or the longing – has been incredibly liberating and affirming.

So many times, the Church has gotten it wrong – has been an agent of judgment, exclusion, and hurt.  I have talked with many people who left the Church for a time (or permanently) because of such experiences.  Knowing that truth, I have been feeling especially grateful for a church who tries to be better – who acknowledges her faults and failings, and actively seeks to live in truth and love. 

I know many of you have stepped away from Church or have been hurt enough times by the Church that you are no longer interested in finding community there.  Know that you are loved and missed.  Also know that wherever you are on your spiritual journey, there are communities of faith who are working to be better – to be more loving, to be more affirming, to be more Christ-like.   For all of us, I lift up Thomas Merton’s prayer:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.  I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.  Amen.[i]

[i] Thomas Merton, “A Prayer of Unknowing,” Thoughts in Solitude (New York:  Farrar, Straus & Cudahy, 1958), 79.

On God, Grace, and Letting Go…

03 Wednesday Jun 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.learningrx.com/harrisonburg/test-taking-tips-for-students-who-struggle/

As we approach the end of the school year in our district, I had a surprising realization.  Our kids are old enough now that we expect them to keep up with assignments, tests, and projects.  We keep an eye on grades each quarter, but the expectation to work hard and do your best is already established.  And each of our children had tough years this year:  one in a grade notorious for being academically rigorous, the other making a transition from elementary to middle school.  But even in the expectation of challenging years, we also put a lot of trust in our children to make it work.

So, imagine my surprise, as we talked about this being the last week of school, when I realized how much tension I had been holding in my chest for our children to get to this point – to successfully complete the school year.  I had convinced myself that I had put the onus on them to be responsible for their own experiences and successes.  And yet, as I’ve been releasing a 9-month held breath of tension, I realized perhaps I’ve been holding on more than I was willing to admit. 

I talk a lot about free will when I offer pastoral care.  Theologically, I do not believe that God directs good or bad things our way necessarily.  So, when questions arise like, “Why would God let this happen?” or “Why do bad things happen to good people?” my answer is not some explanation about a punishing God, or about predestination, or even about works righteousness.  Instead, we talk about the tremendous gift (and curse) of free will. 

But what I had perhaps not realized until this week is my understanding of God’s relationship to free will.  Honestly, I had sort of thought of God as cut off from the decision to give us free will – sort of “you made your bed now lie in it” mentality.  But as I observed my own physical reaction to the relief of the end of a school year (where I had supposedly totally trusted my kids’ free will), I wonder if God mourns along with us when the exercise of our free will leads to negative consequences instead of positive ones.  I wonder if God is sometimes holding God’s breath until we make our way through the ups and downs of life.  I’m not arguing I would ever want God to take away our free will.  But somehow imagining God’s heart as God’s children figure it out has given me a lot more appreciation for the cost of our free will – and perhaps a lot more grace for my children as I watch their journey through the ups and downs of life too.

On Spiritual Check-Ins…

27 Wednesday May 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.sjs.edu/blog/understanding-our-worship-liturgy-of-the-eucharist

What we say in our church’s Discovery Class is that if you want to know Episcopalians believe, you need to pay attention to our liturgies.  In our worship, you see the centrality of scripture to our sense of identity (both in the scripture we read and the way scripture is woven into the language of our liturgies), in our profession of the baptismal covenant, in the confession of and forgiveness of our sins, in the gathering at the table for the sustenance we need to go out into the world as Jesus’ disciples and agents of God’s love.  Our liturgies are rich with meaning, purpose, and identity. 

And yet, because we are a liturgical church, sometimes our liturgies can become rote, and we stop paying attention to the meaning behind the familiar words we declare.  That’s why this Sunday our church will be holding what we call an “Instructed Eucharist.”  The worship will follow the normal patterns, but there will be two key differences.  First, a narrator will join us to offer commentary sporadically to help us understand what we are doing every week and what those actions mean.  Second, our bulletins will be annotated – basically like an expert wrote notes in the margins to help us not only understand what different components mean in the liturgy, but also some pondering questions to help grow our faith.  We have offered these instructed eucharists a few times at our church, and we find every time that all of us (even the clergy!) deepen and renew our faith through the experience.

Given that offering, I have two invitations for you.  One, I invite you to watch – either in person or over on our YouTube channel (the service will archive so even if you can’t join in at 10:00 AM EST, you can still join in).  You won’t regret it, I promise!  Two, I invite you to take a moment for that spiritual check-in.  How is your faith life going these days?  Have elements of your practices – your prayer life, your attendance in worship, your connection to community – become stale or rote?  We all have seasons of rich spiritual lives and arid, wandering places in our spiritual journey.  No matter what season you are in, know that you are welcome here.  This Sunday we hope to offer some tools to help you on your way!

On Redefining Community…

06 Wednesday May 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.army.mil/article/164948/trash_or_treasure_yard_sale_source_of_savings_income_for_soldiers_families

This past weekend, our church held a yard sale.  I was so impressed by our leaders and volunteers, and was excited to see steady traffic at the sale.  I know our parishioners were happy to extend the life of their once beloved items, and shoppers were happy to find items that may become useful to them or their families.  All in all, it was a great event!

As I watched the constant stream of shoppers, I was struck by a contradiction.  You see, the town I live in is relatively small.  Most people share one or two degrees of separation.  Either you know most people, you know someone in common, you’ve casually crossed paths, or you’ve heard of them.  But the vast majority of our shoppers this weekend were unknown to me.  They were a diverse group of people, representing diverse stages of life.  Some brought children and grandchildren, some came with a loved one, and some shopped solo.  Some seemed curious about what they might find, while others seemed like yard sale veterans who knew how to discern value.  But as someone who believes themselves to be fairly connected in the community, I was surprised by how many strangers I met that day.

The experience got me wondering:  how can someone (like a pastor) who is constantly meeting new people in a small-ish town still have a sizeable set of people they do not know?  How often do we assume success (if, say, our goal is to get to know our community well and share Christ’s love widely) when in fact our success is superficial at best?  Has our definition of “wider community” been narrowed to “strangers who are similar to me”? 

I wonder if our invitation is not to sit in the comfort of thinking we know our community, and instead to stretch how we engage our community.  Maybe we need to shop occasionally in places we do not normally shop.  Maybe we need drive in parts of town we do not normally drive.  Maybe we need exchange our normal polite nods for actual words of conversation and connection.  I do not know what the first step is for you, but I look forward to hearing what you choose and where you are having encounters with God in the process.