Category Archives: reflection

On Redefining Community…

06 Wednesday May 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.army.mil/article/164948/trash_or_treasure_yard_sale_source_of_savings_income_for_soldiers_families

This past weekend, our church held a yard sale.  I was so impressed by our leaders and volunteers, and was excited to see steady traffic at the sale.  I know our parishioners were happy to extend the life of their once beloved items, and shoppers were happy to find items that may become useful to them or their families.  All in all, it was a great event!

As I watched the constant stream of shoppers, I was struck by a contradiction.  You see, the town I live in is relatively small.  Most people share one or two degrees of separation.  Either you know most people, you know someone in common, you’ve casually crossed paths, or you’ve heard of them.  But the vast majority of our shoppers this weekend were unknown to me.  They were a diverse group of people, representing diverse stages of life.  Some brought children and grandchildren, some came with a loved one, and some shopped solo.  Some seemed curious about what they might find, while others seemed like yard sale veterans who knew how to discern value.  But as someone who believes themselves to be fairly connected in the community, I was surprised by how many strangers I met that day.

The experience got me wondering:  how can someone (like a pastor) who is constantly meeting new people in a small-ish town still have a sizeable set of people they do not know?  How often do we assume success (if, say, our goal is to get to know our community well and share Christ’s love widely) when in fact our success is superficial at best?  Has our definition of “wider community” been narrowed to “strangers who are similar to me”? 

I wonder if our invitation is not to sit in the comfort of thinking we know our community, and instead to stretch how we engage our community.  Maybe we need to shop occasionally in places we do not normally shop.  Maybe we need drive in parts of town we do not normally drive.  Maybe we need exchange our normal polite nods for actual words of conversation and connection.  I do not know what the first step is for you, but I look forward to hearing what you choose and where you are having encounters with God in the process.

On Parenting, Milestones, and Community…

29 Wednesday Apr 2026

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Photo credit: https://flo.health/being-a-mom/your-baby/growth-and-development/early-walking-babies

When my kids were younger, we delighted in their milestones:  regaining their birthweight, learning to crawl and then walk, eating solid foods, the first real smile, and finally speaking words.  There was a joy in each of those moments, but also a sense that things were okay – that your child was developing in the ways that they were supposed to, and were therefore healthy. 

These days, the milestones are different:  first love interest, first heartbreak, getting a driver’s license, first paycheck, being awarded honors.  I suppose those milestones are markers of healthiness too, and the delight comes just as strongly.  But somehow, these later year milestones are tinged with a hint of coming change.  Before too long our children will launch out into the world and the milestones will be their own to enjoy – celebrated independently of the protective sphere we hosted for so many years.

As I become wistful these days, I think of how God has viewed us over the years.  In Jeremiah 29.11-14, God addresses those who have been exiled from Jerusalem and sent to Babylon.  “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”

As I recall the ways God’s people have journeyed with God over the years, I suppose the milestones never cease – God is constantly seeking relationship and health for us, in all parts of our lives:  in the young formative years, in the youth of our adulthood, and in those middle and late years; in the darkness and what feels like times of failure; in the joys and in the successes.  God is present in all of it.

I wonder if the work we do that we label as “parenting through milestones,” is work that is not limited to biological children and parents.  Much like God journeys with us, God gifts us with people in our lives – friends, family, neighbors, church members, colleagues, and even strangers – who we can shepherd through milestones too.  Though our culture would have us believe we are independent lone rangers responsible for our own success and happiness, Christians community teaches us that we are much more interconnected and gifted the opportunity to journey with others through all those milestones of life.  I wonder who God is inviting you come close to:  to celebrate, to encourage, to console, and to delight.  We are in this work of life together. 

On Seasons of Discernment…

22 Wednesday Apr 2026

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Photo credit: https://spiritualmarketingclub.com/apply-spiritual-discernment-in-business/

In my role as pastor and parent, I have recently walked people through all kinds of discernment:  about denominational affiliation or specific church membership, ranking college options, deciding on coursework for the next school year, discerning the right candidate for a job or the right job for a candidate, hunting for a home, pondering the journey of fertility, developing strategic initiatives, exploring new models of ministry, and even casting a vote in a special election.  Discernment across these varying life situations has some commonalities.  People feel a sense of anxiety about making the right choice, they experience the tension of the in-between or the liminal time between one reality and another, they feel the thrill of possibility and the hope of something unexperienced, and they feel a fear of the unknown and the inevitability of change.  There is almost a weightlessness or that tightness of the chest when one unconsciously holds their breath.  An end of discernment is definitive, but the results and the consequences are not always known.

When one is in discernment, there are lots of best practices:  mapping out the pros and cons to methodically sort out the decision, reading about the experience of others, conducting research with people who can testify to their experience or at least be a sounding board, and for those who are religious, lots and lots of prayer.  Part of the reason I am privy to these seasons of discernment for so many people is that I join the process as a companion.  In some instances, I suspect that those who are discerning come with a hope that I will just tell them what to do.  But ultimately, we both know that this kind of discernment really has to lie at the feet of the one deciding – and in my case with a lot of prayer for divine wisdom and inspiration.

Perhaps the hardest part of discernment is figuring out when you’re done.  In some instances, there is a deadline – a day the application is due, a cutoff for registration, or election day.  Discernment with a deadline is gift.  Though it can feel like more pressure, there is a concrete ending.  Open-ended discernment means self-imposing some guidelines about when you have listened enough, read enough, prayed enough, and worried enough.  There is often too much room for self-doubt and second-guessing.  But even in those instances, decisions still must be made.

I wonder where you are on your own discernment journey.  You may be thinking, “Oh, no big decisions for me.  I just keep living each day.”  But the truth is, we are constantly moving in and out of discernment throughout life.  Opportunities percolate up, invitations arise, diagnoses appear, and the Holy Spirit always seems to be whispering in our ears about what’s next:  a new ministry invitation, a person you can help, a book or a play that can shake up your worldview, or some other thing to keep you on your toes.  Knowing the reality of constant discernment, our invitation is to create habits that buttress our discernment.  That may mean tending relationships that are healthy homes for grace-filled discernment, developing practices for logically sorting through decision points, and, most importantly, nurturing a healthy relationship with the Holy Spirit so that when God is whispering in your ear, you’ve tuned yourself to the right channel to eliminate static.  My prayers are with you as you build your discernment toolbox.  And I can’t wait to hear what the Holy Spirit is doing! 

On the Blessing and Curse of Church…

15 Wednesday Apr 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.guitarhabits.com/how-to-play-guitar-with-a-band-or-group/

I was listening to a podcast recently where a couple of singer-songwriters were being interviewed.  When talking about the creative process of bringing together artists to create music, one musician described the experience as, “something really communal and almost like church, but for people that want to come together in a way that feels inclusive and safe for all.”[i] 

I understood what the artist was saying, completely.  The church for so many people has been a place of hurt – whether due to an experience around someone’s sexual orientation or gender expression, whether due to a divorce (either personally or watching the church handle the divorce of one’s parents), whether with the way hard conversations were had – with a sense of rigidity and judgment or with an openness to wonder and question.  I know the church has been a place of hurt because so many people have talked to me as a priest about their own resistance to Church because of that hurt.

But despite all my understanding and knowledge about how many times the Church has been the source of curse instead of blessing, the throw-away comparison of the music community this artist had experienced to the experience of Church hit like a gut punch.  Her qualification of Church not being a place that feels safe and inclusive for all hurt my soul so much that I literally felt the wind being knocked out of me. 

Perhaps the comment hurt so much because whereas this singer-songwriter found the Church lacking and found what Church is supposed to be somewhere else, I have spent a lifetime trying to find churches that strive to actually be what Church is supposed to be like – and certainly as a priest, I have tried to shape communities into being that kind of community.  I love being in a place that despite being pretty diverse politically and theologically, can happily celebrate the renewal of vows by a lesbian couple who has found a sense of home and purpose there; where former members of other denominations find a sense of welcome and acceptance that their former church withheld; a church who seeks out the liturgical leadership of young people, whether transgendered, neurodivergent, or just young, because they are some of our best leaders; where retired members show up at the sporting events, dance recitals, or theater performances of younger members; where parishioners with protest pins on their lapels kneel next to parishioners with bumper stickers of opposing viewpoints. 

I never want to minimize the hurt or victimization that people have experienced by the hand of the Church.  And even if I personally did not commit a heinous act of hatred, judgment, or exclusion, I know part of my work is atoning for the sin of the Church universal.  My prayer this week is that those who have only experienced exclusion and a lack of safety in churches might find their way to churches who strive to live another way – to live the love of Jesus fully and authentically.  And it is my prayer that for those of us striving to live in that other way that we remain humble about whether we have actually achieved that safety and inclusivity and keep remembering not the way of church politics, but the way of Jesus. 

[i] Maren Morris, “Brandi Carlile:  Good Hang with Amy Poehler,” March 31, 2026, as found at https://podcasts.musixmatch.com/podcast/good-hang-with-amy-poehler-01jktbqakmf0anjvx2tz394fjv/episode/brandi-carlile-01kn1tcfzgdg73vb0jhswns3xs on April 15, 2026

On Politics, Football, and Love…

11 Wednesday Feb 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/g70287539/bad-bunny-hidden-messages-super-bowl-halftime-performance/

I confess that I did not know much about Bad Bunny when he was announced as this year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show artist.  I had seen clips of him guest starring on sketch shows and talk shows, but knew very little beyond that.  I eventually learned that he sings almost exclusively in Spanish, and that lots of folks were upset by the fact that they, as non-Spanish speakers, would not be able to understand the lyrics.  I did not really share that upsettedness.  Even with minimal Spanish myself, I was more curious about how 1) someone who sings exclusively in Spanish could be such a global success, and 2) what he would do with the global stage the Super Bowl provides.

The minute the show started, I was transported.  I have never traveled to Puerto Rico, but I have been to the Dominican Republic several times with church mission trips, and the sugar cane fields, the guys playing dominoes, and the rhythms of dance were immediately familiar.  As the show unfolded, I found not an artist defending his right to be performing at the Super Bowl, but instead, an artist joyfully welcoming everyone into his culture – and as he would likely say, into our culture.  Toward the end of the show, a billboard in the stadium displayed the words, “The only thing more powerful than hate is love.”  And suddenly, I realized Bad Bunny, Benito as he is called by those who know him, took us all to Church. 

You see, in my “purple” congregation, I always tell folks I don’t preach politics – I preach Jesus.  On Super Bowl night, Benito didn’t preach politics – he preached love.  And for those who were frustrated about language, or, more likely, frustrated that a Spanish-speaking singer reminded them of the political strife that the enforcement of immigration regulations has unleashed in our country, I found myself remembering that love, especially Jesus’ command to love, is always political when embraced wholeheartedly.  You cannot commit to love of neighbor without encountering neighbors you would rather not love.  And so, when a worldwide superstar holds up a football with the words, “Together we are America,” he is also holding up a mirror with the question to at least followers of Jesus, “Are you loving your neighbor?”

Most of us do not have a worldwide stage to be agents of Christ’s love.  Very few of us have pulpits from which to preach God’s love.  But all of us, every single day, have the ability and the commission from Jesus to love.  Love God, love self, love neighbor.  Love is hard work – hatred is so much easier.  But being faithful has never been about the easy way.  Being faithful has always meant being a beloved child of God who is then required to gift that love to others.  Sometimes it takes a Spanish-speaking superstar, sometimes it takes a wise grandmother, sometimes it takes an innocent child – but the message is always the same.  We are called to love, and love is so much bigger than we will ever feel comfortable with; and, we do it anyway.  Thank you, Benito, for reminding us whose we are.

On Sharing the Love…

04 Wednesday Feb 2026

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Photo credit: https://www.thebearandthefox.com/easy-peasy-valentine-garland/

With Valentine’s Day approaching, my daughter’s dance studio has welcomed back their “Spread the Love” month.  Paper hearts are cut out and students are invited to write something kind about another student and paste them around the studio.  It sounds very simple, but I loved watching the impact last year.  I was impressed by how eager kids were to write something kind about one of their peers.  But even more noteworthy was watching the kids read something kind about themselves.  As humans, we are often reticent to celebrate our own gifts and talents; and culturally, we do not regularly make time to compliment the giftedness we see in others.  The simple invitation to celebrate each other becomes a profound experience. 

Personally, I have never loved Valentine’s Day, as its focus on romantic love and paired couples creates an environment for uncoupled folks to feel inadequate, lonely, or less than.  The reframing of a day about love like the one at our dance studio reminds me of the kind of love that Jesus asks us to show everyday – not just on Valentine’s Day.  By focusing on spreading love and kindness, the entire community shifts and benefits as both givers and receivers of love.  It is a beautiful expression of the holiest of activities.

So this month, I invite you to spread the love too.  You can certainly cut out some hearts if you like, but whether it’s a text, a phone call, a conversation, an email, or an old school “valentine,” I encourage you to look around at the people in your life – both those people you know and love, and those people who happen into your path.  Take a long look at them and then let them know what about them is special to you – what gifts, or kindnesses do they share with the world for which you are grateful?  Find your mode of communication and then start sharing the love.  I suspect you will find great joy in honoring others. And even if you do not receive similar “valentines” in return, the love will return to you ten-fold.

On Justice, Kindness, Humility, and the Messy Middle…

28 Wednesday Jan 2026

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Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly; reuse with permission

I serve a parish located in a “purple” county whose political leanings are also quite “purple.”  The political views of our parishioners are widely ranging – conservative, liberal, and moderate; Republican, Democrat, and Independent – we all gather every week around the thing that binds us together:  the Eucharistic Table.  Being determined to stay together across difference is not easy.  But we feel an authenticity about that purple identity – that following Jesus and sharing the weekly feast with people we do not always agree with is a counter-witness to the deep divides we experience out in the world.  It keeps us honest, it forces us to humanize one another, and it definitely deepens our prayer life.

That conviction about identity and practice is under constant strain in these tense politically divisive days.  This past weekend as I learned of Alex Pretti’s death, I knew we were entering even more deeply into that tension.  I even had a fellow clergyperson ask me, “So how is your church handling Minneapolis?”  I confess, I wanted to be able to say that we were encouraging a single, clear response.  I wanted to lean into my personal convictions and comfort zone, and lean away from the messy middle that is being a part of a purple church.

Fortunately, our readings for this coming Sunday have teed us up perfectly for staying in the messy middle.  The prophet Micah in chapter 6, verse 8 says, “He has told you, O mortal, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?”  I always argue that God is not affiliated with American political parties.  And I always argue that that does not mean following God is apolitical.  Now, telling my people to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God, does not mean that justice, kindness, and humble walking will look the same for every person.  But doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with your God does mean that we are required to stop defending political parties and start defending the dignity of every human being.  Doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly means that we cannot hide behind political policies and instead must look our fellow human beings in the eyes, seeing one another through God’s eyes.

Now I know many clergy who avoid “purple” churches because being in churches that align with their personal politics feels more authentic (and, if we’re being honest, easier).  But I love being a part of a purple church because it forces me not to assume political rhetoric blindly when faced with the turmoil of the day, but to pick up justice, kindness, and humility.  I want my parishioners to take action out of their sense of faithful commission.  And that action will look different for each person.  But I will remind them whose they are and what that Lord requires:  do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God. 

On Peace, Love, and Conduits…

14 Wednesday Jan 2026

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Photo credit: Ken Hicks, as found at https://www.facebook.com/groups/sagingnotaging/posts/25680765434890871/

This past Sunday a parishioner told me about how she had been following the Walk for Peace[i] movement – a 120-day 2,300-mile journey by Buddhist monks walking from Fort Worth, Texas to Washington, DC to raise awareness of peace, loving kindness, and compassion across America and the world.  The parishioner is hoping to see them as they pass a town near us.  I had not heard about the group, and have been fascinated to learn about their journey.  They are not asking for money, do not offer selfies, and ask that no political statements accompany their journey.

Meanwhile, in response to the death of Minneapolis resident Renee Good, the Episcopal Church in Minnesota held an online prayer vigil last night open to the entire country to lament violent immigration enforcement in the Twin Cities area.  Over 3,400 people joined the prayers online, as those gathered offered their fatigue, anger, and heartbrokenness to God.  The bishop in that diocese invited those gathered to “turn the world upside down by mobilizing for love.”[ii]

As I have been thinking about the tumult of theses days and the tensions in our country, I have often felt helpless – as though the division is so deeply embedded and hardening between us that there is little to effect substantive change.  But as I thought about these two groups – simply walking without taking sides, or responding to division with prayer and love – I found myself wondering if I might more intentionally lean into my own faith tradition’s gifts too.

As I was reading about the monks, I saw that the only gift they “allow” in their walk is the gift of flowers.  Later I learned that they receive these flowers as gifts, but then they gift those flowers to people along their walk.  Conceivably, those flowers could be changing hands with people who do not agree on political issues, but who can pass along flowers to one another in gestures of peace. 

This coming Sunday, our church will be honoring Martin Luther King, Jr.’s feast day.  This year, our clergy will be reading excerpts from one of his sermons.  As clergy, we have been amazed at how, decades later, King’s words still resonate powerfully with what feels like problems unique to our generation.  I wonder if his words can be a conduit like those flowers that might pass peace and understanding and grace and love to our community and beyond.  I invite you to consider what conduits might be in your path today, or what conduits you might offer to begin slow, steady change.

[i] https://www.facebook.com/walkforpeaceusa/

[ii] Shireen Korkzan, “Thousands join Episcopal Church vigil to lament violent immigration enforcement actions, unite in pursuing justice,” January 14, 2026, as found at https://episcopalnewsservice.org/2026/01/14/thousands-join-episcopal-church-vigil-to-lament-violent-immigration-enforcement-unite-in-pursuing-justice/

On Pageants, Dread, and Joy…

07 Wednesday Jan 2026

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Photo credit: https://nationaltoday.com/epiphany/

This Sunday was our church’s annual Epiphany Pageant.  Each year, following all the Christmas festivities, when the time comes for the feast of the Epiphany – the arrival of the magi – we insert the pageant into the middle of our Sunday worship service.  I love the pageant each year because it allows us to breathe in the fullness of those twelve days of Christmas.  I love the pageant each year because it allows our families to recover from the whirlwind that can be Christmas with young children before pausing at the manger without the chaos.  I love the pageant each year because we cede the reins of our patterns of worship and ask our children to lead us in a substantive way.  And I love the pageant each year because it is sheer joy – the best gift of the entire Christmas season.

The day after that pageant, my family’s life shifted back into “normal” mode:  the children went off to school after two weeks of rest, the adults went back to work, the household duties of laundry, dishes, and picking up resumed.  This shift is often met with dread.  Two weeks is enough time to have fully relaxed and stepped out of production mode.  For the kids, it is met with resuming responsibilities of classwork and extracurricular requirements.  For the adults, there are all the things we put on hold that now feel overwhelmingly urgent.  The same is true for the household – staring us in the face are all the items we know need tending:  cleaning, the bills, the scheduling, the negotiating. 

This week though, I have been praying through the dread and holding it in tension with the sheer joy that I witnessed on Sunday.  While the weight of all the “stuff” of life is certainly there and mounting, what the joy reminded me of is that I love all the “stuff” of life that makes our life so rich.  I love being in a church community that values and empowers our children and their faith lives.  I love being in a community that reminds me of the significance of ultimate things and the presence of God in the midst of the seeming chaos of life.  I love having a family to journey through life with and watching each member of the family evolve into beautiful versions of their selves.

This week, I wonder how you might tap into the sacred pause of Epiphany.  I wonder what gifts the magi are bringing you this week to remind you of the presence of Jesus in your life.  I wonder how you might acknowledge the joy found in the seeming tidal wave of responsibility that comes after time apart.  I look forward to hearing about your epiphanies this week!

On the Myth and Magic of Advent…

10 Wednesday Dec 2025

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Photo credit: https://christchurchofaustin.org/announcement2/

As a pastor, I am constantly preaching about savoring the quiet anticipation of Advent.  We even offer Advent Lessons and Carols, which has a more contemplative note than its celebratory sibling, Christmas Lessons and Carols.  But in everyday life, I am just as vulnerable as anyone else to the secular chaos in which Advent lives.  I find myself running kids around to obligations and performances, juggling calendar conflicts with all the special holiday offerings, and even add commitments myself because I want to maintain annual traditions.  Nothing about life outside of church feels quiet and centered.

I think is why I was so grateful for the gift of a minimally scheduled Saturday this past weekend.  Both professionally and personally the calendar was mostly clear – I even reserved the TV for watching a basketball game which I rarely can do.  As my daughter and I settled in, she proposed doing a puzzle together – an activity we always say we’ll do but somehow never get around to doing.  And so evolved an afternoon of sports watching, puzzle assembling, and the kind of conversation that can only happen when you make unstructured space for it.  When I got to close of the day, I realized that while a part of me felt guilty for not being particularly “productive” (no catching up on work, no doing household chores, no addressing Christmas cards), I marveled at how spiritually and emotionally productive the day felt with my daughter.

I know finding even moments of quiet anticipation in Advent can feel impossible these days.  There are so many things vying for our attention – many of them quite good and important.  But I wonder if you might be able to carve out some unscheduled time in these weeks left of Advent.  They may have to be in the car on your way to something, or while walking on the treadmill, or saying goodnight to the children.  Maybe it means making your way to church even if you have other invitations. Whenever you can find that sacred space, I promise the life and love of Christ is waiting for you in the stillness.  God is already there.  You are invited to say hello.