In my role as pastor and parent, I have recently walked people through all kinds of discernment:  about denominational affiliation or specific church membership, ranking college options, deciding on coursework for the next school year, discerning the right candidate for a job or the right job for a candidate, hunting for a home, pondering the journey of fertility, developing strategic initiatives, exploring new models of ministry, and even casting a vote in a special election.  Discernment across these varying life situations has some commonalities.  People feel a sense of anxiety about making the right choice, they experience the tension of the in-between or the liminal time between one reality and another, they feel the thrill of possibility and the hope of something unexperienced, and they feel a fear of the unknown and the inevitability of change.  There is almost a weightlessness or that tightness of the chest when one unconsciously holds their breath.  An end of discernment is definitive, but the results and the consequences are not always known.

When one is in discernment, there are lots of best practices:  mapping out the pros and cons to methodically sort out the decision, reading about the experience of others, conducting research with people who can testify to their experience or at least be a sounding board, and for those who are religious, lots and lots of prayer.  Part of the reason I am privy to these seasons of discernment for so many people is that I join the process as a companion.  In some instances, I suspect that those who are discerning come with a hope that I will just tell them what to do.  But ultimately, we both know that this kind of discernment really has to lie at the feet of the one deciding – and in my case with a lot of prayer for divine wisdom and inspiration.

Perhaps the hardest part of discernment is figuring out when you’re done.  In some instances, there is a deadline – a day the application is due, a cutoff for registration, or election day.  Discernment with a deadline is gift.  Though it can feel like more pressure, there is a concrete ending.  Open-ended discernment means self-imposing some guidelines about when you have listened enough, read enough, prayed enough, and worried enough.  There is often too much room for self-doubt and second-guessing.  But even in those instances, decisions still must be made.

I wonder where you are on your own discernment journey.  You may be thinking, “Oh, no big decisions for me.  I just keep living each day.”  But the truth is, we are constantly moving in and out of discernment throughout life.  Opportunities percolate up, invitations arise, diagnoses appear, and the Holy Spirit always seems to be whispering in our ears about what’s next:  a new ministry invitation, a person you can help, a book or a play that can shake up your worldview, or some other thing to keep you on your toes.  Knowing the reality of constant discernment, our invitation is to create habits that buttress our discernment.  That may mean tending relationships that are healthy homes for grace-filled discernment, developing practices for logically sorting through decision points, and, most importantly, nurturing a healthy relationship with the Holy Spirit so that when God is whispering in your ear, you’ve tuned yourself to the right channel to eliminate static.  My prayers are with you as you build your discernment toolbox.  And I can’t wait to hear what the Holy Spirit is doing!