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On Cellos, Love, and the Incarnation…

18 Wednesday Dec 2019

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Yesterday, my elder child performed in the school’s Christmas concert.  She had been pretty excited and anxious about the concert for weeks.  They worked very hard in class, and she had been practicing daily at home.  She was determined to learn the special songs so she could play them.  Over these last months, she has asked me to sit nearby occasionally and listen; other times, I could hear the songs of the cello floating down the stairs.  But none of that prepared me for what I saw yesterday.  Yesterday, she sat tall in her chair, attentive, and calm.  Suddenly, her arms look graceful and light.  Her movements were like that of a dancer, able to beautifully coax out a tune from her curved instrument.  I was stunned by her beauty, having never fully seen it before as she plugged away at home.  My heart warmed, and was filled with love for the nimble creature – a child who certainly gives me a run for my money in fierceness, stubbornness, and independence, but also who I keep discovering I love more than I even understand.

As I have been thinking about that surge of love and awe for my child, I began to wonder if that was what Mary felt on that night Jesus was born.  Her pregnancy was so fraught.  From her bizarre conception story, to working out marital details with Joseph, to the encounter with her cousin Elizabeth, to the government’s census that forced her to travel while very pregnant, to replaying the conversation with the Angel Gabriel, knowing wondrous, awful, amazing things were to happen with her child.  Though she seemed to embrace her role fully, I sometimes wonder whether she was able to feel love for the child who had brought so much chaos to her life – at least not until she laid eyes on him.  I suspect only then, did her sense of purpose become intertwined with a sense of deep love – a sense of awe bigger than herself.

I think that is how God loves us.  At times, I suspect God, like any parent, has a wicked eye roll and has mastered a deep sigh in response to our behavior.  But I also imagine God has this deep sense of awe, wonder, and love for us – for the ways in which we can be beautiful to one another, the ways in which we use our gifts for good, and the ways in which we glorify God.  I believe the entire Incarnation is due to this deep love – a love even deeper than we experience in those fleeting moments of insight with our children and one another.  That realization is how I head into Christmas this year.  Not thinking about cute babies, or crazy birth narratives necessarily, but in humbled awe of how much God loves us.  When we catch a glimpse of that love, we do not really need anything else this Christmas.  In this last week before Christmas, I invite you to consider the best gift that is waiting for you this year.  Everything else is just trimming.

On Giving Voice to Joy…

01 Wednesday May 2019

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Although I was working this past Sunday, my family elected to take a much-needed post-Holy Week/Easter Sunday break.  I explained the details to our younger daughter on Saturday night, and she threw a fit.  “But I’ll miss Sunday School…and the bread and wine…and the Peace…and Children’s Chapel!”  The more she thought about what she would miss, the more upset she got.  Her disappointment was both heart-breaking and heart-warming.  As a priest, I always hope my children will find meaning in church.  But as a PK (preacher’s kid) myself, I also am fully aware that sometimes you sit in church because that’s part of your role.  Hearing our younger child long for the “stuff” of church filled my heart with joy.

Fortunately, that joy is not limited to PKs.  I talked to another parent on Sunday whose family had been traveling the last couple of weeks.  She relayed that when she told her preschooler that today was a church day, he jumped up a down throughout the house singing, “It’s church day!  It’s church day!”  Combine that with the faces of our children that light up when they reach the altar rail to receive communion, and I know that Hickory Neck is doing something right.  Our teachers and worship leaders are making a big impact – but so is each member who makes them feel welcome, included, and invaluable.

The funny thing is, I think the adults at Hickory Neck feel the same way.  I’m not sure most of them are jumping up and down on Sunday mornings (at least not without coffee), but as I have met and talked with members over the last year, there is a common thread in those conversations:  parishioners come to Hickory Neck each week because they long to be there.  For some, the feeling is easily attributable:  the comfort of music or communion, the connection with fellow church members, or the invitation to step into prayer with others.  For others, they may not even understand why they are drawn to church; they just know they want to be there – something intangible draws them in.

Sometimes I think our inability to articulate our joy and fulfillment we find at church is what holds us back from inviting others to join us.  Perhaps we worry about what negative experiences someone has had and we don’t want to deal with wading through the dark side of church.  Perhaps we worry that we will not explain the experience well enough for someone to want to join us.  Or perhaps we are embarrassed, worried that we will seem more like a child filled with joy than an adult with a persuasive invitation.  Today, I invite you to think about what it is at church that brings you joy – what keeps you coming back every week, and then share an invitation (to Hickory Neck, or to your own church home).  I’ll be sharing some of my joy with you at our Rector’s Forum on Sunday.  I would love to hear yours too!

 

On Being Agents of Joy…

12 Thursday Apr 2018

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Photo credit:  Photo taken by Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly on March 25, 2018.  Permission required for reuse.

A couple of weeks ago, in the midst of one of the craziest seasons for a clergy family, we found a moment to head down to the historic district of our town.  My daughter had just received a bubble wand as a birthday gift and wanted to take it along.  Somehow, a bubble wand seemed like a bad idea – it being totally out of context in the otherwise historically accurate setting.  But, I was not in the mood for an argument, so I consented.

There we were, in the midst of tourists, costumed interpreters, walking along cobblestoned streets filled with colonial architecture, and my daughter was gleefully running down the sidewalk with her pink princess bubble wand.  Seeing her happy and joyful was enough to bring a smile to my weary face.  But what I had not anticipated was how her bubble-making would bring joy to so many around us.  A large visiting family burst into smiles as she rained bubbles on them.  Little children began tugging on their parents’ clothing, giggling and shouting, “Look!”  A mother wistfully thanked us, explaining that her preteens had been catching and chasing the bubbles behind us.  I saw some teenage girls light up with a long-gone innocence as the bubbles floated toward their laps.  Even a costumed interpreter whispered as she passed, “We all love your bubbles.”

What was so beautiful about that day was the way in which my little four-year old was able to freely and abundantly give away the unexpected gift of joy, laughter, and refreshment.  It was such a powerful thing to witness the strength of her gift; seeing her joy, and the spreading of her joy, brought me unexpected joy.  That kind of innocent, pure, wholesome goodness is so rare in life and my daughter gave it with abandon.

That wave of abundance, generosity, and joy made me wonder what ways we might be invited to be agents of joy.  Perhaps the opportunity could be as simple as bubbles.  I had a friend who kept them in her car for whenever she got caught in traffic (it is hard to stay cranky in traffic when bubbles are floating by).  But it could be something else – sending a card or making a phone call when a person randomly pops into your mind.  Starting a practice of thoughtful, tiny good deeds – little gifts to those whom you know need it, maybe even without credit.  Or maybe a new idea will strike you.  I would love to hear your ideas.  But more so, I would love to hear how it goes when you try it.  Practices of abundant joy are catching.  I can’t wait to hear about the joy you spread this week.

Sermon – John 13.31-35, E5, YC, April 24, 2016

27 Wednesday Apr 2016

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A few years ago, some friends of mine engaged in the elevator speech challenge.  The idea was simple.  If you were stuck in an elevator with someone for thirty seconds and were asked to tell them about your faith, what would you say?  The challenge was to explain to someone your faith in Jesus Christ in thirty seconds or less.  I remember when my friends started sharing their elevator speeches, I was totally intimidated.  First, I knew that if someone actually asked me to do this in an elevator, I would probably stutter through some answer, mostly filled with “ums” and “you knows,” and not much of substance.  But more importantly, even when I tried to sit down and give myself way more than thirty seconds to formulate my thirty-second speech, I could not do it.  I could not figure out how to distill everything that had happened to me in my faith journey, why I still believe and am so devoted to church, and who I believe the three persons of the Godhead to be.

The last night in the upper room that we hear about in our gospel lesson today is a little like Jesus’ elevator speech.  Although the disciples did not fully grasp the importance of that night, Jesus certainly did.  If you remember, back on Maundy Thursday, we joined Jesus and the disciples on this night.  Jesus tells the disciples many things.  He teaches them about the importance of servitude as he washes their feet.  He teaches them how to celebrate the Lord’s Supper.  But when Judas leaves at the beginning of our reading today, Jesus knows he is out of time.  The end is coming and he desperately wants to leave the disciples with a few words of wisdom.  Knowing his time is up, Jesus does not tell anymore parables or give them any convoluted metaphors.  He keeps his words simple and direct.[i]  “Love one another,” he tells them.  “Love one another as I have loved you.”  That is all he gives them.

His words are simple, perfect, and beautiful.  I am sure those words were in many of the elevator speeches I read.  God is love.  Our call is to love as Jesus loved us.  That is how others will know us to be Christians – through our love.  The problem is this:  though “love one another” sounds simple, perfect, and beautiful, loving one another is really hard work.  Think about that one family member who is so difficult – the sibling who always tries to start a fight, the family member who always has some story about why they need to borrow money from you, or that aunt who is just plain mean.  Jesus says we must love them.  Or think about that classmate who started a nasty rumor about you, the coworker who took credit for your idea, or that friend who shared your confidence with someone else.  Jesus says we must love them too.  Or think about that political candidate that you cannot stand, that religious leader who constantly says offensive things, or that homeless person you tried to help who was completely ungrateful.  Jesus says we must love them too.  Jesus words, “Love one another,” are simple, perfect, and beautiful.  But Jesus’ words are also hard, frustrating, and sometimes seemingly impossible.  Loving one another is at times the most wonderful, rewarding thing we do in this life, and at times is one of the most challenging, difficult things we do in this life.  But we love because that is what Jesus taught us to do.

Today we will baptize a child into the family of God.  Baptism is our sacred initiation rite.  During any initiation rite, we normally summarize what is most important to us so that the newly initiated person knows what we expect from her.  In this case, the parents and Godparents will be reminded of our ultimate priorities so that they can teach her in the years to come.  Most of those promises and priorities come in the baptismal covenant.  We ask five questions:  Will you continue in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of the bread, and in the prayers?  Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?  Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?  Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?  Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?   The questions are big questions – the guiding principles of our faith.  But most of the questions boil down to that night in the upper room:  love one another.

As we think about baptizing Elaina today, and teaching her to love, some of us may feel overwhelmed.  We know how hard loving is.  Elaina will even teach her parents and godparents how difficult loving is:  when she learns and uses the word “no!”, when she throws her first epic temper tantrum, or when she first utters those dreaded words, “I hate you!”  But Elaina will also teach the parents and godparents how wonderful love is:  when she first calls you by name, when you first see her helping someone or tenderly comforting a crying friend, or when she finally learns those wonderful words, “I love you!”  Everyday her parents and godparents will have the chance to teach her about what her baptism means by showing her how to love.  They may not have a patented elevator speech, but Elaina will understand what her Christians identity means when she sees what “love one another” really means.

But today is not just about Elaina, her parents, and her godparents.  Today is for all of us.  Today is a day when we too can take stock of how well we are living into our own identity as baptized children of God.  Every day we can take a moment to remember where we have failed to show love and where we have excelled in showing love.[ii]  The moments will be small and sometimes seemingly inconsequential.  But all those tiny moments add up to a lifetime of loving one another.  And today we will promise to, with God’s help, keep trying to be a people who love another.  Loving one another may not be a fancy elevator speech.  But loving one another might be much more powerful in the long run than any fancy words we can assemble – because Jesus’ commandment today is not so much about what we believe, but about how we live.[iii]  Jesus did not tell us to love one another because he knew loving one another would be easy.  But Jesus did tell us to love one another because he knows that we can.  He has seen each one of us do that simple, perfect, and beautiful act.  Today, he invites us to keep up the good work.  Amen.

[i] Gary D. Jones, “Pastoral Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Year C, Vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2009), 468, 470.

[ii] David Lose, “On Loving – and Not Loving – One Another,” April 21, 2013, as found at https://www.workingpreacher.org/craft.aspx?post=2542 on April 20, 2016.

[iii] Jones, 470.

Homily – Isaiah 25.6-9, Cemetery Memorial Service, December 19, 2015

05 Tuesday Jan 2016

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One of the little secrets that they don’t tell you about in ministry is that this time of the year is filled with death.  While the rest of the world is running around singing about this being the most wonderful time of the year, priests are bracing themselves for a slew of funerals.  I remember my first year as an ordained person our parish having five or six funerals in December.  I mentioned the oddity to my fellow clergy and they gave me a knowing nod.  “Oh yeah, December always has lots of deaths,” they told me.

A month of concentrated deaths would be strange in and of itself.  But probably what is even more strange is the juxtaposition of death and life in December.  You see, every year we celebrate new birth – in fact one of the most important births of our Christian identity.  And yet every year, in the face of wondrous new birth is the overshadowing of death.  Last year at St. Margaret’s, one of our beloved parishioners died days before Christmas.  On the morning of Christmas Eve, we celebrated his death.  That afternoon we celebrated Christ’s birth.  Life and death seeped into each other, making separating the two realities impossible.

I imagine the reality of death clinging so closely to life is not new to most of you here.  We gather this evening every year to honor the reality of celebrating Christmas in the shadow of death.  We set time apart to honor how fresh the death of our loved ones is at this time of year – whether they died months or weeks ago, or whether they died thirty years ago.  The problem is that no matter when our loved one died, they left a mark on our collective experience of Christmas.  Maybe they cooked Christmas dinner every year.  Maybe we always visited their house and exchanged presents.  Maybe they always told loud, awful jokes or made the holidays a little more bearable.  Whatever their legacy on this time of year, there is some part of our heart that is missing without them here.  Sure, we make new Christmas memories without them.  Eventually, there will be new babies, cousins, and grandchildren who will never know those loved ones we knew.  But for us, those loved ones are never far this time of year, however briefly stealing away some of the joy that this time of year can bring.

I think that is what I love about our Old Testament lesson today.  Isaiah talks about the coming kingdom of God.  Isaiah says, “…the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear.”  There is something about that image of a feast that gives me great comfort this time of year.  Maybe the image is comforting because this holiday is often about comfort food – recipes that give us a sense of nostalgia or make us feel safe just through their familiarity.  Maybe the image is comforting because we can imagine that raucous table with a large crowd gathered eating, drinking, laughing, and sharing in each other’s joy.  Or maybe the image is comforting because we can connect our earthly banquets with the heavenly banquet – imagining those sacred moments and places where we really feel like our loved one’s presence is palpable at our Christmas table – a mystical union between the two feasts.

I cannot promise you that Christmas will be easy this year.  In fact, I suspect that those of you whose loved ones passed away years and years ago already know that Christmas will always have a tinge of sadness and loss.  Death and new life will always be oddly intermingled this time of year.  But I also suspect that may be on purpose.  Even though death is inevitable and keeps coming at us, reminding us of our own mortality, we keep celebrating the birth of the Christ Child and the new life and promise of hope he brings.  Nothing quite warms the heart like warmth of a swaddled baby.  Nothing gives us greater hope and wonder than the miracle of new life.  Nothing brings us deeper joy than the innocence and purity of a newborn.  We know that any baby can bring that kind of joy.  But celebrating the Christ Child is about even more – celebrating the Christ Child is a celebration of all that he will bring – the banquet that his life inaugurates and the feast that he creates for us.  Christmas will not be the same without our loved ones.  But Christ promises to keep bringing us new life until we can join our loved ones in that heavenly banquet that never ends.  Amen.

Sermon – John 1.1-18, C1, YB, December 28, 2014

15 Thursday Jan 2015

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If you have ever spent much time with a young child, you know that one of their favorite questions is, “Why?”  You can have a ten minute conversation in which every statement you complete is answered with a, “Why?”  Now this could mean that you, as an adult, are stimulated to really ponder the meaning behind the things we say or do.  And in fact, many children, after hearing several answers to their questions, will simply answer, “Oh,” or “Okay.”  But more often, this kind of conversation often results in frustrated exasperation where you either conceded, “I don’t know,” or you resort to your conversation ender, “because I said so.”

When I hear John’s gospel today, I like to imagine a curious child has heard Luke’s gospel of Mary, Joseph, shepherds, and angels, and has simply asked, “Why?”  Why did Jesus have to be born?  Why was Jesus born in a manger?  Why did angels go visit those shepherds?  Why didn’t Mary seem to understand any of this?  To all of those questions, John’s gospel answers, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…the Word became flesh and lived among us.”  Now if we understood that circular explanation, we still might ask, “Why?  Why did the Word become flesh and live among us?”  John’s answer continue:  “He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him.  He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him.  But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.”  Now most of us might be too confused to ask “Why?” at this point. We might, like a child, simply answer, “Oh.”  And those of us who are bold enough might even profess our confusion.  To this, John’s answer would likely be a simple repetition, “So that we might become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.”

This is John’s answer to the “Why?” of Luke’s Christmas story.  Why did God take on human flesh in the persons of Mary and Joseph, and have that birth witnessed by angels and shepherds?  God took on human flesh because, as one scholar explains, “God has called us God’s own children, individuals who hold infinite worth in God’s eyes, deserve love and respect, and will be used by God to care for God’s beloved world.”[i]  I do not know about you, but that is the kind of answer that should make most of our whys end with an “Oh!”  God came to the earth in the person of Jesus, took on human flesh so that we could become God’s children, because we hold infinite worth in God’s eyes, deserve love and respect, and will be used by God to care for God’s beloved world.  That is some of the best, most affirming news I have heard in quite some time.

The trick though, is not to let our “Oh!” be the end of the story.  If you can truly hear God’s words for you today – that we continue to celebrate Christmas because Christmas has a profound affect on our lives – then we have more work to do.  Now I do not know if you have already selected your New Year’s Resolution yet, but if not, perhaps you can take on a new resolution this year.  In light of John’s gospel, I invite you to consider taking on a daily mantra for the next month.  Maybe you say the words as the introduction to your prayer time.  Maybe you say them in the mirror after you get out of the shower.  Or maybe you say them in the car on the way to work, school, or on your daily errands.  The mantra goes like this:  I am God’s child, deserving of love and respect, and God will use me to change the world.[ii]  Let’s try the words together now, repeating after me:  I am God’s child, deserving of love and respect, and God will use me to change the world.  One more time so that you have the words in your mind:  I am God’s child, deserving of love and respect, and God will use me to change the world.  I invite you to try the words once a day, everyday, for at least one month.  Then perhaps at the end of January, you can look back at Christmas, and your response will no longer by, “Why?” or “Oh!” but instead can be, “Okay!”  Amen.

[i] David Lose, “An Unsentimental Christmas Sermon,” December 30, 2013, found at http://www.workingpreacher.org/craft.aspx?post=2980 on December 26, 2014.

[ii] Lose.

A season…

09 Wednesday Jul 2014

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I was talking to another parent recently about the different phases of childhood.  We both have children who are about five years old, but I also have an infant.  She confessed that having been through the development of her five year old, she could not imagine starting over with all that a baby entails – the diapers, bottles, interrupted sleep, and crying.  I sympathized with her, but I had to admit that my experience was quite different.  With my first child, every phase of development felt big and overwhelming.  I worried and fretted about how to meet each new challenge and how to adjust my life for each stage.  Only once a new phase started could I look back and appreciate what had actually been quite nice about the previous stage.

But with the second child, I am finding not a sense of overwhelmedness, but of familiar joy.  Though these first months have rough moments, I also now know that these first months have parts that are especially easy.  An infant does not need as much entertainment now as a child much older needs.  An infant can be left to her own devices for a short time without having to worry that she will crawl or walk around and get into something.  An infant does not feel irritated by long cuddles – in fact, she quite enjoys them.  Of course, there are many things that are easier at age five than they are at three months.  But what I am finding as a second-time parent is that by knowing how each phase changes your life, for good and for ill, I feel a lot more calm about the transitions and appreciative of the little gifts along the way.

What this second child has gifted me with is the invitation to be present.  She is reminding me that life evolves and changes, and I can either fret about and rigorously prepare for that – or I can simply be present in the moment, enjoying what today has to offer.  She has given life to that passage from Ecclesiastes which says, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…” (3.1) 

Of course my daughter has opened up this verse to me about parenting, but I know that this verse has truth for each stage of our adult life too.  As I have been praying on this verse, I have been in conversation with God about what season I am in, and what purposes God has for me right now.  That is not an easy conversation.  Many of us are so busy planning and doing, that we rarely take a moment to breathe in this “season,” and thank God for it.  We only have the gifts and challenges of this season of life once.  What purpose has God put you to this season?  How might you find and celebrate the joys of this season today?

On prayer and parenting…

10 Thursday Apr 2014

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One of the more regular inquires I get as a priest is about how to pray.  The truth is there are so many different ways to pray – ranging from formal methods to totally unstructured methods – that our conversations usually have to include what they have tried already and some teaching about what other options are available.  I usually send the person off with a couple of new things to try and encourage them to let me know how it is going.

Since the arrival of my second child, I have been thinking a lot about prayer – or rather, I have been doing a lot of it.  I delivered my child by caesarean section, and I found myself really nervous going into the operating room.  I am not entirely sure why, but I as I sat behind that tall white sheet, with my lower body numb, waiting for the doctors to prep for surgery, I could feel my stress level rising.  That nervousness only heightened once the operation began.  And then, suddenly, before I was even conscious that I was doing it, I found myself praying the Trisagion.  The Trisagion is a prayer found in the Book of Common Prayer.  The words are, “Holy God, Holy and mighty, Holy Immortal One, Have mercy upon us.”  The prayer is traditionally sung or said three times.  I lost count of how many times I said the prayer, but it became a way for me to focus all my nervousness and give it back to God.  Later, I remember thinking about how many times I have taught about mantra prayers, and yet this might have been the first time I really “got” how mantra prayers can be a source of connection to God.

Later, about the time that my daughter was a week old, and I was stealing as much sleep as I could on the couch, I noticed that the blanket I had blindly found in the middle of the night was one that had been gifted to us.  It is a throw blanket with the Lord’s Prayer stitched on it.  As I looked at the words, I started praying the words.  I have always loved the Lord’s Prayer because I can pray it when I have nothing left.  When I am bone-tired, weary, or just feeling overwhelmed, those words have a power over me and whatever situation I find myself in.  It occurred to me, as that blanket was wrapped around my body, how I was metaphorically enveloped in prayer during this unique time.

But to be fully honest, much of my prayer life these last two weeks has included prayers of desperation.  “Please, dear God, let her fall asleep this time.”  “Sweet Jesus, help her to stop crying.”  In my mind, these are not what I have traditionally called prayers that “count.”  They are more calls of despair and bargaining, which is not really how I imagine things “work” with God.  But as I have thought about it this week, I think these are totally legitimate prayers.  Part of a healthy prayer life is an honest, vulnerable conversation with God.  My being honest about how sleep deprived and frustrated I might be at 2 a.m. is not unreasonable – and in fact, God already knows how I am feeling and what I need.  Though I would not argue that this kind of prayer is the only kind of prayer one should utilize in their relationship with God, I think these prayers open up a path to more honest conversation – and hopefully more honest listening to God.

As I think back to all those times I have “taught” others about prayer, these last couple of weeks have certainly shifted some of my thinking about prayer.  The beauty of prayer is that the variety of options is truly a gift to us, and there are certainly different times that different forms of prayer will sustain us.  Whether we pray beautiful, ancient prayers or we offer up desperate ramblings to God, our loving, gracious God is simply happy that we are there – for once remembering Who sustains us, feeds us, and gives us strength.  Thanks be to God!