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On Not Really Being Alone…

16 Wednesday Aug 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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alone, anxiety, challenges, companions, creation, curse, encourage, fear, friend, God, gratitude, panic, prayer, sabbatical, stranger, yes

Beehive Trail Iron Rungs, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elaine Ho; reuse with permission)

Last week, I finished up my sabbatical on a trip with college friends to Acadia National Park.  Having been friends for over 26 years, and having traveled together, domestically and abroad, we know each other well – each other’s habits, weaknesses, and strengths.  We know who is most likely to get up early for exercise, who you don’t talk to before they’ve had coffee, and who is a total chicken when it comes to anything adventure related.  That last one would be me.  But since we all know how tentative I am, we all know they will push me to try new adventures anyway, and I will say yes – even if I grumble, curse, and sometimes pray my way through the adventures.

This year’s adventure was hiking the Beehive Loop Trail – a trail with a steep mountain cliff, boulders, exposed ledges, and iron rungs.  We’ve done hikes before, and I’m relatively fit, but this was definitely a difficulty I have never tried and would certainly not have tried of my own volition.  But this is what we do, and so off I went.  I knew the trail was no joke when the first part of the “trail” was actually just a path of small boulders to navigate over.  As we made our way up, I could see the views were going to be amazing.  But I stopped when I got to the first real set of iron rungs.  After a few deep breaths, some encouraging words whispered in my ear, I grabbed the first rung.  As I scanned for where to place my feet, I could see worn footholds from thousands of hikers before me.  As we walked along ledges, the skinny tree trunks I used as handholds were smooth from those same thousands of hikers who had grabbed them before me.  When the hikers in front of us were moving slowly and we just had to stand on narrow ledges waiting for our turn, I hugged the rock cliff beside us. 

Nature’s handrails, Beehive Trail, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elizabeth Shows Caffey; reuse with permission)

During that hike, I slowly realized the reason I say yes to these challenging women is not because I’m avoiding conflict or caving to peer pressure.  I say yes because I am never alone in my yes.  Whether it is my amazing friend who refuses to bound ahead because she knows that if I slip or start to panic, she will catch me and encourage me ever so gently.  Whether it is the guidance of travelers before me who have left their wisdom behind.  Whether it is in God’s creation herself who stands strong when we need her.  So, as I mutter the reminder, “I love these women…” like it’s both a curse and a blessing, I am reminding myself I am not alone.  When I sigh in profound gratitude, “Thank you, tree,” I am reminding myself that God has not left me comfortless.  When I watch out-of-shape elders, and seemingly too young youngsters, being cheered on and reaching the top, I am reminded that none of us is alone. 

I wonder what challenges you are facing today that feel like a challenge you are facing alone.  I could have faced that mountain ledge or those crazy iron rungs and thought, “I am utterly alone in this.  Only I can take each step, ascend each level.  This is my battle to face.”  But just as I was never alone – and not just with my three other friends, but with countless generations of hikers, and centuries old formations of God’s creation, we are not alone in the challenges we face either.  How many times have we cried out to God for help, only to find a friend or stranger unexpectedly accompanying us?  Sometimes that worn foothold is hard to notice in the face of panic.  Sometimes the smoothness of that tree trunk is barely noticeable because we are gripping so hard or trying to move forward so quickly.  But God is with us, giving us companions for the journey.  We are not alone.

On Enjoying the Walk…

14 Friday Jul 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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annoyance, blessing, disruption, God, Holy Spirit, invitation, rhythm, run, sabbatical, walk

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.  (Isaiah 40.29-31, ESV)

Photo credit: https://www.henryford.com/blog/2023/05/10-ways-walk-better-health

I was reading today about a running method many marathon users use to help them sustain their pacing.  It’s called the “run/walk method.”  To sustain pacing for the marathon, a runner could choose to run for five minutes and walk for one throughout the race.  The challenge for the runner is to use this method throughout, especially at the beginning, when adrenaline is running high and it may feel like capitalizing on energy is a good idea.  Instead, keeping the run/walk pattern allows for the stamina for many runners to complete the race.[i] 

I’ve been thinking that my sabbatical has been utilizing the run/walk method by accident.  The twelves weeks had included multiple trips, punctuated by periods of 4-5 days at home between trips.  This week, one of those trips was cancelled due to weather complications, so my “walking” time at home has been more like 9-10 days.  Initially I was irritated by this disruption in my rhythm.  But as I lived this week a little differently, and as observations about the week have percolated up from family members, I have realized the gift of this rhythm disruption.

In the midst of this rhythm disruption, I have been able to more leisurely take naps and rest – something I would have limited if I knew I was approaching another “running” cycle.  I have also been able to be more thoughtful about time with family – whether an impromptu lunch with a kid at home, going to a community show with a kid instead of encouraging my spouse to do so, and just having some fun together time.  I’ve also been able to create quiet time in town – finding a place to tuck away in my local library.  It has not been the week I planned, but in many ways, it has been a week of blessings – certainly blessings I wouldn’t have enjoyed were I not on sabbatical in the first place.

I wonder what rhythm disruptions God has been gifting you lately.  Have you noticed them?  Have you been able to see them as invitations instead of annoyances?  I suspect the Holy Spirit does a lot more disrupting that we regularly notice.  Our invitation today is to settle down into a walk to see where the Spirit will guide us.


[i] As relayed by Curtis Zackery, in his book Finding Soul Rest:  40 Days of Connecting with Christ (Bellingham, WA:  Kirkdale Press, 2020), 52-53.

Sabbatical Journey…On Spacious Skies

07 Friday Jul 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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beauty, creation, gift, God, grain, humility, joy, mountains, perspective, scenery

Oh beautiful, for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain

Grand Teton National Park (reuse with permission only)

Our last couple of days on our cross-country journey are mostly comprised of driving – seeing more states and the scenery of this country.  On days like today, when I literally see amber waves of grain, and I have already seen purple mountain majesties, I am once again reminded of part of why we did this trip:  to see the beauty of God’s creation in its many forms.  Today we drove on a road lined with trees – something we have not done in weeks.  Some days the vistas were all in hues of reds, oranges, and browns.  Other days were vivid greens.  On other days we could see nothing but blue skies.

In the Book of Common Prayer there is a collect for joy in God’s creation.  It says, “O heavenly Father, who hast filled the world with beauty:  Open our eyes to behold thy gracious hand in all thy works; that, rejoicing in thy whole creation, we may learn to serve thee with gladness; for the sake of him through whom all things were made, thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.”[i]  This trip has been one that has certainly opened my eyes to see God at work in God’s creation.  It has been a feast for the eyes, and no matter how many pictures I snap, I will never capture the true beauty of this gift God has given us.

Today, I invite you to take a look at God’s creation around you.  Certainly, traveling thousands of miles around the country will inspire you, but so can pausing at a flower bed, gazing at an old, wizened tree, or taking in some clouds or stars.  Watching a world of beauty whirl around you – something entirely not man-made – may give you the gift of perspective, humility, and joy.  God has great plans for you, and gifts you beauty everyday!


[i] Book of Common Prayer, 814.

Sabbatical Journey…on Choosing Unity

05 Wednesday Jul 2023

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beauty, choice, country, disagree, diversity, division, forbearance, God, image of God, Jesus, July 4th, justice, respect, united, unity

License Plate Game (reuse with permission)

As we celebrate the 4th of July today, I cannot think of a more appropriate activity than to be on a cross-country trip.  Our trip so far has given me a renewed appreciation for the vastness of our country, the unique topographical beauty in each state, and the tremendous diversity of people.  Though we call ourselves the United States of America, sometimes I think we forget what an improbable arrangement we have – that these fifty states, in all their glorious diversity, are united as one.

Traveling through the country these last eighteen days, I have seen both signs of our political divisions as well as indicators that there is more in common between us than different.  I have also seen that experiencing each other in our own settings, learning about each other’s heritage, remembering that the creation of this country was done on the backs of so many oppressed peoples, helps me remember that being united states takes work.

Often when I am doing premarital counseling, I will tell couples that marriage is a choice – not made one day in beautiful attire with all your family and friends – but a choice made every day, over and over again.  Only when we make that daily commitment do marriages thrive and can be filled with love.  What I appreciate about the Fourth of July is that it is our annual reminder that we have to choose to be united over and over again, so that we might thrive and be filled with love.  I realize that may sound overly romantic, and in our current political times even impossible, but that we live in such a place that allows for differences and disagreements is a true gift that can help in the midst of our divisions.

As fireworks go off tonight, my prayer is that we renew our commitment to care for one another and respect the dignity of every human being in this country.  We know that we are all made in the image of God – even those folks with whom we disagree.  I offer the following prayer from the Book of Common Prayer for you tonight.  May we take up the mantle of being united once again.

Lord God Almighty, you have made all the peoples of the earth for your glory, to serve you in freedom and in peace:  Give to the people of our country a zeal for justice and the strength of forbearance, that we may use our liberty in accordance with your gracious will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.  (Book of Common Prayer, 258)

Sabbatical Journey…on Being the Church

03 Monday Jul 2023

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blessing, church, God, Jesus, love, prayer, witness

Several years ago, I encountered a mobile chapel at General Convention.  The idea was that if people are being taken away from church on Sundays by sports, competitions, or other commitments, bring the church to them.  The mobile chapel was set up so people could go in for personal prayer, but there was also a set time for the distribution of Eucharist with a priest.  It was a creative expression of an ever evolving Church.

Travelers Chapel, Wall Drug in Wall, SD (reuse with permission)

On today’s leg of our sabbatical journey, I felt embraced by several other folks bringing church to me.  The first encounter was at Wall Drug, the famous roadside attraction and tourist stop in Wall, South Dakota.  Among the drug store, gift shops, stores, and restaurants is a “Travelers Chapel.”  The Chapel is always open, offering a peaceful setting for prayer.  Amidst the consumerism and loud animatronic singing, the Chapel is like an oasis for all of us passing through.  Somehow, Wall Drug managed to bring church to me today.

The second encounter came as we checked in at hotel tonight.  A laminated card was left on the nightstand.  The card is basically a greeting and blessing for all who stay at the hotel.  I confess I have never received such a note at a secular hotel, and I was thoroughly humbled by the witness of love of the management and staff of this hotel.  Once again, church found its way to me, this time at a Comfort Inn and Suites.

Hotel Note in Albert Lea, MN (reuse with permission)

Far too often I hear churchgoers complaining about how fewer people are making their way to church.  Today I am reminded that our work is take church to others.  Jesus was always commissioning people to go out and witness God’s love and redemption.  Our work is no different.  I wonder what unique way you might figure out how to be someone’s church today.

Sabbatical Journey…On Weariness and Gratitude

01 Saturday Jul 2023

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antidote, cranky, God, gratitude, Holy Spirit, invitation, Jesus, journey, perspective, practice, tired, weary

Montana Driving (reuse with permission)

Today was a driving day for our cross-country trip – perhaps the longest driving day of the trip.  All told, we were on the road, with multiple stops, for about 10-11 hours.  By the last hour, I was engaged in an inner complaint fest:  the trip felt like forever, I was stiff from the ride, and I just wanted to be in the next location and stretch my legs.  But when we arrived, I was glad I had kept my complaining to myself.  First my younger child exclaimed, “That wasn’t so bad!  It went by kind of quickly!”  My husband agreed, “Yeah, that was an easy drive!”  My elder child confessed, “I kind of like driving days.  They’re like ‘chill’ days.” 

Their comments helped me reflect on the day a little differently.  I tried to remember all the good things about the day:  the way the heavy fog slowly lifted to reveal beautifully green mountain scenery with rivers and tall pines; how fun it was to drive along winding road, hugging the curves; the pops of color that wildflowers brought to the drive; the fun road trip games we played, where everyone was winning at different points; the laughter, the naps, and adding a new state to our list of visited states.

Today, I am grateful for the invitation into gratitude.  It’s a practice I encourage all the time, but one that is easily forgotten when we are tired, weary, and cranky.  But the funny thing is that gratitude is the best antidote to us who are tired, weary, and cranky.  When we give thanks, we see all the good things that made us tired.  When we offer gratitude to God, our weariness is held like soft mattress.  When we give ourselves to thankfulness, crankiness is melted into praise.

I would love to hear what you are grateful for today.  How has God shown up in surprising ways?  How has the Holy Spirit spoken grace through people in your life?  How is Jesus inviting you into a new interpretation of the day?  I’m grateful for you and our journey together in gratitude!

Sabbatical Journey…On Sabbaticals within Sabbaticals

30 Friday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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busy, creation, God, reconnect, rest, sabbatical, spiritual practice, weary

Time for S’mores! (Reuse with permission)

If you are following this blog, you may have noticed that our family’s version of sabbatical is not really about rest.  Our sabbatical is more about getting out of your comfort zone, seeing the beauty of God’s creation, and making amazing memories.  But even sabbatical adventurers sometimes need a day of rest.  One of our crew was not feeling 100% today, so we left him behind and saw just a morning’s worth of the national park we wanted to visit instead of a whole day.  Seeing him have some down time made us realize maybe we all needed a little down time.  So instead of making memories out in the wild, we made memories resting in our lovely hotel.  It wasn’t dreamy or romantic, but it was very much lifegiving.

I was thinking how hard it is for all of us to give ourselves rest.  Our weekends are often a break from the work week or school week, but we want to enjoy them so much we often overly jam pack them – with sports commitments, attending events, meeting up with friends, or just getting out and about town.  Somehow rest on the weekend feels like wasting the weekend.  Part of my own sabbatical and my parish’s sabbatical was not necessarily scheduling a bunch of naps, but about creating space outside of the normal pace of life to reconnect – with God, with one another, with ourselves.

If you are not a part of our parish’s sabbatical (although if you are local, feel free to join any of the fun events found HERE), perhaps you can make this summer about finding mini sabbatical times too.  Maybe that means making space for prayer, finding your way to a church service (either in person or online), or taking on a spiritual practice.  Maybe it means engaging in an activity that helps you connect with God in a way that you haven’t tried before.  Or maybe it means taking a deep breath and really seeing the goodness all around you.  I promise, you’ll be grateful for the energizing your “sabbatical” can create!

Sabbatical Journey…On Hope and Humanity

29 Thursday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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baptismal covenant, bitter, connection, dignity, division, God, hope, humanity, Jesus, reverence, sacred

West Yellowstone (reuse with permission)

I often find myself worried about the state of humanity.  Between our bitter American politics – where the art of compromise seems lost, the nasty interpersonal ways we interact with one another (don’t get me started about my local newspaper’s anonymous section), the way we are almost desensitized to mass violence, and the never-ending presence global warfare, I sometimes find it difficult to see hope or redemption for humanity.

But today was not one of those days.  Today was all about community and shared connection.  It started when we drove through Grand Teton to get to Yellowstone.  We had already had our Teton experience but were hoping to get a last view on our way out of town.  But a thick fog fell on the whole area, and my immediate thought was one of sorrow for all the beautiful sights today’s visitors would miss.  Later, at Old Faithful, we sat waiting for about thirty minutes to see the iconic geyser.  Swarms of people were gathered from all over the country and the world.  But when the geyser finally blew, the united gasp and cheers of joy made me feel like the barriers between strangers were immediately leveled.  Finally, at a community theater in West Yellowstone, we enjoyed a musical in a small venue with a variety of people.  With interaction encouraged, kids invited on stage to sing before the show, laughter, and the love of theater, I felt a true sense of connection to the gathered community.

Of course, I am unlikely to see most of the people I spent time with today again.  So, in the strictest definition, I was not building community.  But what was happening was the fulfilling of my baptismal covenant – where we were all respecting the dignity of every human being.  I think we make that promise in baptism because that is the real first step to building community:  respect, and being able to see the sacred in every person created in the image of God.  When we do that, all that hopelessness about humanity fades away.

If you have not looked at someone today with that kind of reverence, I invite you to give it a try.  Maybe you just watch people a little more gently (remembering days when you were “in a mood,” or when parenting was just super hard).  Maybe you offer a hand or an encouraging word.  Or maybe tonight you pray for someone you never actually met but crossed paths with during the course of the day.  I look forward to seeing how Jesus softens your heart and gifts you renewed hope!

Sabbatical Journey…On Seeing through Song

28 Wednesday Jun 2023

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anxiety, creation, enormity, gift, God, great, Holy Spirit, inexpressible, inspiration, longing, song

Chapel of the Transfiguration, Episcopal, Grand Teton National Park (reuse with permission only)

After a day of exploring the magnificent Grand Tetons, seeing beautiful waterfalls, peaceful lakes and rivers, we closed the day with a covered wagon dinner and show.  I had been pondering the beauty of this day, when the western quartet closed the show with the old hymn, “How Great Thou Art.”  If you are not familiar with the hymn, the lyrics are:

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy pow’r thru-out the universe displayed!

Chorus
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When thru the woods and forest glades I wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze,

Repeat Chorus

I could not have asked for a better summary of this day.  As I saw the enormity of the mountains, I stood I awesome wonder.  As I listened to a different familiar hymn being played in rustic chapel, I remember thinking I could look at the views all day from that beautiful space.  As I watched the calm lake, I marveled at the reflection of God’s creation.  As I heard the roar of waterfalls, I felt in my chest the way that God’s love sometimes roaringly overpowers me.  And as the mist of the falls kissed my face, I remember thinking, “My God, how great thou art!”

Sometimes words fail me, especially when encountering so much of God’s inspiring creation.  So often, the artistry of song has helped me shape words my mouth could not.  Tonight, singing that song “How Great Thou Art,” with the help of guitars and a fiddle, I knew immediately those were the words I could not articulate all day.  Other times, sacred songs have come to me in sorrow, in anxiety, and in longing.  I hardly ever choose the songs.  And sometimes I must sit in silence for a long while before the songs pop into my head.  In these times, the songs feel like gifts from God, who knows I need a way to express the inexpressible.

What songs are you longing to hear?  I would love to hear how the Holy Spirit has flitted through your longing heart and given you a song.       

Sabbatical Journey…On Resetting and Love

27 Tuesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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family, frustration, God, hug, invitation, love, peace, perfection, prayer, push, reset, still

Idaho Road (reuse with permission)

In case reading about and seeing pictures from our cross-country adventure make you think we are having a perfect trip with perfectly behaving family members, today reminded me how human we really are.  When you are family, you know each other almost too well:  you know what makes family members laugh and what embarrasses them, you know the quirks of each member and you know teasing is a form of love, you know how far you can push someone until they lose their cool.  But because you love each other unconditionally, sometimes you push anyway.  And when you are in each other’s presence 24/7 for ten days, apparently, the tenth day is when the pushing becomes almost inevitable. 

Despite the dazzling green of Idaho’s countryside, the beautiful rivers of Wyoming, and the stunning mountains across three states, and although there were fun road trip games, stories shared, and conversations had, today I also lost my patience and my ability to exhibit mature parenting responses.  Even with some downtime for all of us, I realized I was snapping too much, and my patience was brittle thin.  What I needed was some unconditional love, and so, as I said goodnight to each family member, I asked for a hug.  Despite having just been bickering not ten minutes earlier, each member to a person gave me a hug without protest.  And suddenly the unease that had settled around me melted away.

Too often – with loved ones, with neighbors, with community leaders, and certainly in church – we forget to reset with love.  I know not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, and I know the pandemic made us anxious about physical contact, but sometimes I think a hug might help us all reset some of the tension between us.  In fact, I know some of us have been frustrated or angry for so long that we are not even sure what we were originally frustrated or angry about. 

When I’m feeling frazzled, one of my favorite prayers is from Psalm 46.10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I love to pray those words repeatedly, each time, dropping the last word in the phrase.   The first time I pray all eight words.  Then I pray just seven, “Be still and know that I am.”  And then six, and so on, until I just pray the word “be.”  If a hug is not available to you today, or if you want to do your own self work on resetting with love, I commend Psalm 46.10.  Between God’s invitation into stillness, and the stillness one finds in hugs, I pray you find some peace this day.

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