Monthly Archives: April 2015

For the beauty of the earth…

23 Thursday Apr 2015

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This winter on Long Island was particularly rough.  We went months without seeing the grass – months!  I have friends on Facebook who live all over the country and I remember seeing their pictures of kids playing in the grass in March, and I was so jealous.  That experience of hunkering down through all the snow and ice accumulation left most of us here on Long Island feeling weary and listless.

But this past week, I feel like I have been brought back to life.  Daffodils are in full bloom, the forsythia finally emerged, tulip trees are opening, and not only is there grass, there is also that bright green grass that only comes out in spring.  I feel like I can finally breathe.  There is a lightness that comes with spring, and that lightness is even more potent after a long, arduous winter.

This morning at Eucharist we prayed, “For seasonable weather, and for an abundance of the fruits of the earth…For the good earth which God has given us, and for the wisdom and will to conserve it, let us pray to the Lord.”  Having just had Earth Day yesterday, watching our church’s community garden slowly sprout its early crop, and seeing spring unfold has given me a new appreciation of the gift of God’s creation.  Snow can be beautiful in its own right, but after a long winter, I am especially amazed at the bountiful and beautiful gift of God’s earth that one sees in spring.  And I am honored that God has invited us to be stewards of that earth.  As God’s earth is bursting forth with life, I find myself bubbling with new life and joy.  But mostly I feel grateful: grateful for this beautiful earth, our island home; grateful for a God who entrusts that earth to us; and grateful for how each new color and bloom reminds me of the beauty and grace surrounding me every day.  Thank you Mother Earth.  Thank you spring blooms.  Thank you God, for forming this beautiful earth out of a formless void.  We are blessed beyond measure and we promise to be the good stewards You would have us be!

Sermon – Luke 24.36b-48, E3, YB, April 19, 2015

23 Thursday Apr 2015

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I have been thinking this week about the power of food.  In almost all my mission trips, there was a food story.  Whether I was uncertain about eating what looked like undercooked chicken in the Dominican Republic, or I was struggling with the proper way to eat the tiny bird I was given in Burma, or I was trying to swallow the freshly made tamale in Honduras when all I wanted to eat was a saltine because I was so sick – there was always a dramatic food story from each trip that led to endless jokes later.  Of course there are good food stories too.  There are those foods that you always eat when you visit a favorite restaurant, the foods you beg your mom to make when you visit home, or the foods whose recipes you try to master before your grandfather passes away and the magic taste is gone with him.  Food is a powerful thing.  There is the basic need for food for sustenance, there is the nostalgia and delight that the smell and taste of food can bring, there is the adventure of trying new and exotic foods, and there are ways in which food can be the enemy – from overeating to disordered eating.  Food is the common denominator among all peoples, and in many ways, our life is centered around food.  The common joke in the South is that you know a family is a good southern family if they are planning their next meal while eating the current one.

So today, when Jesus says, “Have you anything here to eat?” Jesus harnesses the power of food to do something equally powerful.  In Luke’s gospel, the women have found the empty tomb and reported the news to the disbelieving disciples.  Peter has confirmed the news, but the disciples remain huddled in fear.  Two of those gathered have an encounter with Jesus on their walk to Emmaus, and return to the disciples to share the news.  Finally, in our lesson today, Jesus appears among them.  Though he offers peace to them, and tries to calm their doubts and fears, the text tells us that they are joyful, but still in disbelief and wonder.  Despite the fact that the disciples have received multiple testimonies of the risen Lord and despite the fact that the same risen Lord is standing right in front of them, offering them peace and assurance and even showing his wounds as proof of his identity, the disciples just cannot get their heads around this strange new reality.  And so Jesus resorts to the one power left he has to reach the disciples – the power of food.  To this scared, confused, disbelieving gang of followers, Jesus says the most basic, normal question, “Have you anything here to eat?”

Who among us has not tried to use food as the great peace maker?  Almost every time we go to visit family, our family anxiously asks, “What do you guys eat?”  Whenever we host friends, we are careful to ask about food allergies or what kinds of foods they do not like.  Pretty much every birthday party we have been to with our five-year old has served pizza and cake – because apparently, every kid likes pizza and cake.  Nothing feels better than satisfied eaters around a dinner table.  Once people are happily eating, the conversation flows and the laughter soon follows.  Likewise, when we make the wrong food choices for a meal, the results can be disastrous.  I always have loved the scene from the film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when the Greek girl invites her very non-Greek boyfriend to meet the family.  The whole family has gathered, a pig is on the spit, food is flowing, music is playing, and the favorite Aunt comes up the boyfriend and asks him what she can serve him.  The Greek girl tries to calmly and quietly explain that her boyfriend is a vegetarian.  The Aunt seems confused, and so she explains that her boyfriend does not eat meat.  The Aunt loudly asks, “What do you mean he doesn’t eat meat?!?”  The room suddenly stops – a record scratches as the music halts, a glass drops from a stunned hand, and jaws drop as they stare at this strange boyfriend.  But the Aunt, ever the gracious host, quickly affirms the boyfriend and says, “That’s okay, that’s okay.  I’ll make lamb!”

Though the Aunt clearly does not comprehend the practice of being a vegetarian, she still leans on food as a way make peace.  Once she has made peace, the party continues, and the family gets back to knowing the foreigner and welcoming him as family.  That is because food has that power.  Food can break down walls between foreigners, food can soothe old hurts, and food can help make new friends.  Food has power.

Jesus seemed to know this truth.  When appearances, conversations, and physical evidence cannot not seem to calm the disciples enough for them to understand what God is doing in the risen Christ, Jesus resorts back to the one thing that can transform everything.  “Have you anything here to eat?” is not just a question about whether there is food in the house.  His question is a disarming one – a question that not only requires the mundane work of preparing food, but also gets the disciples into a place a familiarity, comfort, and ease.  In this place, gathered around the table with food, the disciples are finally put in a place where they can really hear Jesus.  In fact, the text says that Jesus opens their minds to understand the scriptures.  Finally, after confusion, fear, and disbelief, through the power of food comes clarity, wisdom, and direction.  Jesus is able to break through, create understanding, and most importantly, commission the disciples to spread the good news to all the nations.[i]

On those mission trips, those funny food stories always led to something more powerful.  That questionable chicken was procured for us because the village leaders knew how hard we had labored and they wanted to give us food to sustain us – even if it meant driving out of the way to obtain the chicken.  And once we ate, the hungry villagers ate too.  Those tiny birds that we panicked about in Burma were actually quite a delicacy.  They are a rare treat that were painstakingly prepared by the women of the church.  And though I am sure our faces betrayed our uncertainty, you could not have seen more proud looks on those women as we began to pick through those tiny bones for meat.  Those mounds of fresh tamales were like a death sentence to me in Honduras.  But I learned that the women of the village had pooled their money for the ingredients and had been working all day to prepare for the feast.  After we ate those delicious offerings, there was great dancing and celebration as our team honored a productive week with our village hosts.

Churches understand the power of food.  I still hear stories at St. Margaret’s about the progressive dinners held back in the day.  Parishioners who are often quite overbooked will clear their calendars for our annual parish picnic.  I have told many a friend that St. Margaret’s is the only parish I know whose Coffee Hour truly lasts an hour – sometimes more if the conversation is really hopping.  Even our most recent new endeavor of providing a family-friendly worship and fellowship opportunity is centered around food – Pasta, Pray, and Play.  Churches understand the power of food to bring people together, to enrich relationships, and to create new connections.

But probably most important for the Church is the power of food to heal, reconcile, and embolden.  The Eucharistic Meal is the primary way we use the power of food.  For those of us who have been receiving communion our whole lives, we sometimes forget the power of that simple meal.  I remember, at one of the services when one of our young people received his first communion, the look of consternation on his face when he first tasted the dry wafer.  I do not know what he was expecting, but I can tell you, that wafer shocked his senses.  That is what our Eucharistic Meal is supposed to do.  We spend an hour pondering and praying about what God is doing in our lives, we confess our failures to live as faithful servants of God, we reconcile with our brothers and sisters in the peace, and then we stand humbly before God and receive a meal that restores us and makes us whole.  That single meal gives us the peace and the power to get back out into the world and try again – try again to be the witnesses Jesus invites us to be today.  That is the power of this food – this meal can transform us and enable us to be faithful witnesses in the world.  When Jesus says today, “Have you anything here to eat?” we say emphatically, yes, we do.  Amen.

[i] Sarah S. Henrich, “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 429.

On love…

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

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This week I have been thinking a lot about love.  It started when I discovered a short film called, “Blind Devotion” by the Jubilee Project.  The film opens with a playful, young couple who seem lovingly devoted to one another.  Unexpectedly, the wife starts to lose her vision and her frustration over the situation begins to pull apart the couple.  She refuses help from her husband and insists on finding a way to maintain her independence.  The husband concedes, but finds that he can’t help himself from helping her in ways that she never notices.  He quickly pushes a tomato toward her while she gropes along the countertop for it.  He follows her to work to ensure that no cars sneak up on her in crosswalks.  He sits a few seats away on her bus just to make sure she gets to work safely.  And then he tiptoes away once he realizes she is comfortably situated at work.  He says that he doesn’t ever want his wife to know how much he does for her because that is how he shows her he loves her – because to him, love is more than just a feeling, it is an action.  And for him, love is not about having the recognition for what he does, but just having the privilege of doing the work.  That kind of selflessness in a relationship reminded me of the love that God showed us through the life and death of Jesus.

Later I stumbled across this blog post.  In it, the author writes what she imagines God would say to working moms.  Basically the letter notes all the ways, big and small, that the mom is constantly trying to care for her family while tending to her work.  The letter is full of affirmation, especially for the small successes, and in the face of what often feel like failures.  As a mom who works outside of the home, I especially appreciated the sentiment.  But I imagine God feels that way about all of us, no matter what familial setting we find ourselves in.  I know that my single brothers and sisters as well as my friends who have partners but no children find similar ways of loving others – and God notices.  God notices because that is the kind of love God hopes that we will show – the same love that God extends to us.

Both the film and the fictional letter got me thinking about two things.  First, I found myself thinking about the myriad ways that people love me and I probably never notice.  Some are more obvious, but I don’t actively acknowledge them:  a short note of encouragement, a phone call, an art project by my child, or help around the house by my husband.  But some of the ways I will probably never know:  the people who pray for me on a regular basis, the people who fill in gaps that I had not even considered, the people who love my child when I am not around.  As I considered the vast possibilities, I was aware of how that vastness pales in comparison to the vastness of God’s love for me.  I am humbled beyond words for the ways in which love envelopes me on every side.

The second thing I realized this week is that I could stand to honor the ways in which I show love.  Too often I beat myself up for the ways I have not said, “I love you,” enough or I have not written that note I wanted to write or made that call I planned to make.  But I began to wonder if instead, I might close each day thinking about the ways I showed love today:  tending to the life of the church and the beautiful parishioners I am privileged to pastor; tending to the daily life of my family, even if my temper gets the best of me sometimes (five year olds can be tough!); and tending to the body that God blessed me with, making sure I treat it like the temple that God made it to be.  Perhaps if I could capture an appreciation for the ways that I love and the ways that I am loved, I could let go a sense of unworthiness and grab hold of the deep love that God has for me – and then share it.

Sermon – John 20.1-18, ED, YB, April 5, 2015

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

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Growing up in the church, I always had a lot of questions.  There were a lot of things in the Bible that I found confusing, and downright contradictory, and I wanted someone to explain them.  Often the answers were unsatisfactory, and I struggled to understand why the adults in my church did not just have clear answers.  So imagine my delight in adulthood when I discovered the Episcopal Church and the way that the Church seemed to embrace questions.  Of course, the answers were still not always clear, and priests used words like “mystery” and “I don’t know.”  But at least I was in a place that welcomed the questions, and that fact gave me hope that one day, I might actually figure out all this “God stuff.”  And of course, going to seminary was a dream – I could actually spend 24-7 steeped in my questions, in textbooks, and in my favorite spot, the Library.  And though I discovered that there is rarely one answer to a question, the fact that there were myriad answers that one must hold in tension was just fine.  I was just happy to have developed some of the language and ideas around those big questions.

So imagine how proud I was when my first child finally started asking questions about Jesus.  I was going to be the parent who did not have to use words like “mystery” and “I don’t know.”  I did know, and with her first question, I launched into an explanation of epic proportions.  It was not until I looked in the rearview mirror of the car and saw her eyes glazed over and her attention fading that I realized I had lost her.  Somehow my accumulated knowledge and reference to the debates of scholars was of no help with a three-year old.

What I probably should have done was taken a cue from John’s gospel that we hear today.  The funny thing is that John’s gospel is usually pretty heady – his sentences are often convoluted and complicated.  And to be honest, sometimes my eyes glaze over and my attention fades when I read John’s gospel.  But today’s lesson is a little different.  Today, as we hear about the most significant fact of the Christian faith – Jesus’ resurrection – John is not abstract or intellectual at all.  Quite the opposite, the encounter between the risen Lord and Mary Magdalene is visceral, emotional, and deeply, deeply personal.[i]

This kind of revelation about God is not what we expect from John’s gospel.  This is the same gospel that begins, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being.”  No mangers, angels, or kings.  John is all about theologically explaining Jesus.  So why then does John give us a story about Mary, Peter, and the beloved disciple running around like crazy people?  Why does John have Mary repeatedly not being able to see past her grief to realize that not only is she speaking to angels who are trying to give her good news, she is also talking to the very man whom she is grieving?  John beautifully transitions today from being a writer who consistently presents Jesus in heady, intellectual ways, to being a writer who also shows us that Jesus is most known in the tangible, realness of life.  In the story, Mary is desperate to see her Lord’s body – what she imagines is the last tangible piece of him left.  She is so distraught that she cannot even see clearly when he is looking at her straight in the eye.  Only when she has turned away in despair, is she able to find Jesus.  Jesus says, “’Mary,’ and the sound of his voice saying her names helps her to see him.  He does not offer a general address; no, he uses a word that applies to her and her alone, a word that captures the utter particularity of her individual life – her name.”[ii]

We do not get a distant, transcendent Jesus in John.  We do not get some flowery, academic description of a concept of Jesus.  We get a real man, addressing a real woman, using the sound of his raspy voice, calling a woman by her very own name.  The gospel does not get much more real and tangible than that.  John’s gospel is such a relief to us today because who among us cannot relate to the busyness of this text?  Before we get to the part of Jesus saying Mary’s name we have Mary and disciples running back and forth, people walking past one another without a word, Mary misinterpreting things because she is so singularly focused on what she thinks should be happening.  Of course she could not see Jesus.  Neither can we.  We are running from work to home to meetings to practices to church.  We are answering emails, hearing headlines on the news, and eating dinner.  We are on the phone, driving the car, and scarfing down lunch.  How can we connect to Jesus in the chaos of our lives?

We can certainly try to connect to Jesus through the study of academic readings and theological debates.  We can try to mentally work our way toward Jesus.  But more often, Jesus is revealed to us instead through embodied, physical ways.  As one scholar explains, “As he did with Mary, Jesus comes to us not as a general idea or an imagined ghostly figure, but as a presence that reaches beyond our mind’s overt powers of knowing and touches our lives in ways that we cannot see.  They are felt – tasted, touched, smelled, heard, seen in image, and as such, often as unconscious as they are visceral.”[iii]  Sometimes we will experience God through study and the use of our minds.  But sometimes, we will come to know God through the emotional and personal – like being called by name.

Once we are willing to accept that there are some things that are beyond our knowing, we can perhaps lessen our grip on our Episcopal embrace of the intellect, and realize that some things of God have to be experienced.  In order to do that, we are going to need some help.  We are going to need to “go to church and be in a space where we physically, emotionally, communally, experience Jesus in our midst.”[iv]  Whether in the taste of the communion wine, the smell of the Easter flowers, the sound a favorite old hymn, or the feel of hard wooden pew, church is one of those places in which the familiar tastes, smells, sounds, touches, and sights stirs up something deep inside of us.  Though church can certainly feed our minds, we can feed our minds anywhere.  But our bodies need to be fed too.  And sometimes the only way to feed our body is through our physical, visceral experiences that can only be had in church – so that our bodies might be reminded of Christ too.

Of course, that means we are going to have to give up some things.  We are going to have to give up on the notion that our brains will be able to answer all our questions.  We are going to have to give up some time on Sundays so that we can place ourselves in the position to taste, touch, feel, see, and hear Jesus.  And we might even have to be willing to say the occasional, “I don’t know,” when our children ask us really hard questions.  But my guess is that children, and even adults, when they are willing to admit it, might be relieved to hear us say, “I don’t know.  But sometimes in my gut, I can feel Jesus with me.  And every once in a while, though the thought may be really strange, I really can hear Jesus calling my name.”  My guess is that the ambiguity, the visceral, tangible concept of Christ, and the sense of wonder and mystery you share might make for a more engaging answer anyway.  Amen.

[i] Serene Jones, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 376.

[ii] Jones, 378.

[iii] Jones, 378.

[iv] Jones, 380.

Sermon – Mark 16.1-8, EV, YB, April 4, 2015

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

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Tonight we celebrate one of the most ancient, and in many traditions, the most important liturgies of the Church.  This is the festival of the resurrection of our Lord – despite what you may have learned about Easter Sunday.  Tonight is the night that we liturgically mark that shift from Lent and the Passion to our Lord and Savior’s Resurrection.  The church gives us this incredible gift tonight, and our job is to hearken back to an innocent sense of awe as we realize what God does through Jesus Christ.

Luckily the Church helps us hearken back to that innocent sense of awe through the structure of the liturgy.  I like to think the Church’s work in the Easter Vigil as being like that Grandfather in the movie The Princess Bride, who visits his sick grandson to read him a fantastic story.  In that movie, the grandson is skeptical – that in fact his grandfather might be planning to read him a boring or sappy story.  But the grandfather insists that this story is one of the greatest stories ever told – a story that his father read him, that he read to his son, and now, he would read to him.

The Church is like that grandfather to us tonight, who gathers up the grandchildren around him, and says, “Let me tell you a story.  This story is greater than any other story you have ever heard.  This story is full of intrigue and surprise, full of the primal elements, full of drama and passion, and full of twists and turns you do not expect.  Do you want to hear the story?”  And before the grandfather can even begin, the grandchildren are waiting with baited breath.

“Once upon a time, before there was time, or people, or even land or sky, the earth as we know the earth was a formless void – filled with watery chaos.  God created the world as we know the world, and proclaimed that creation, ‘good.’  Sometime later, that world fell into sin and God used water to cleanse the whole earth through flood.  To the one person God saved, God promised to never do such destruction again and made a covenant of protection.  Much later, the people of God were fleeing a horrible fate – an awful leader who had enslaved the people.  This time, God once again manipulated the water – both to save God’s people and to destroy those who wished to destroy God’s people.  On the other side of the sea, on dry land, the people rejoiced.  Later, the people fell away from God and although God was grieved, God spoke to the prophet Ezekiel.  God told Ezekiel to reassemble the dry bones of God’s people, and to breathe new life into them.  And the people lived again.  Much later, when the people had become dispersed and disheartened, God proclaimed new hope.  God proclaimed that God would gather God’s people again and would eliminate their despair.

“But after all of that – after creation and floods, after the division of the sea and the giving of new life to old bones, even after promising to save the people – after all of that, yet still the people of God lived in sin and in separation from God.  And, knowing no other way, God did something so unexpected, so wonderful that we could never repay God.  God sent God’s Son to live and breathe among us, to show us the way of faithful living and the way to eternal life.  And as if that were not enough, that same Son was betrayed by his friends, mocked and reviled, and killed on a cross.  That was a dark, painful time – darker and more painful than anything the people had known before.  And so the people of God did the only thing they knew to do:  they mourned, they hid in fear, and a few brave women went to tend to this precious gift they had been given, making his death as sacred as they knew how.  But something amazing happened – something no one ever anticipated.  The Son of Man, the Prince of Peace, the Messiah, Jesus was not there.  And the disciples went from east to west, sharing the sacred and imperishable proclamation of eternal salvation.”

At the end of the film The Princess Bride, the grandfather finishes the book, and tells his grandson to go off to sleep.  The once skeptical grandson hesitantly addresses his grandfather, “Grandpa?  Maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.”  His grandfather smiles and responds, “As you wish.”  Those words are significant because in the story the grandfather tells, the main characters say, “As you wish,” as their code word for, “I love you.”  Tonight, we too hear the story of our salvation, the great sweeping of our history with our Lord, and the salvific work of our Savior Jesus Christ, and we too find ourselves strangely warmed, longing to perhaps hear the story again.  And to us, the Church says, “As you wish.”  Amen.

Sermon – John 18-1-19.42, GF, YB, April 3, 2015

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

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This week we have heard two accounts of Jesus’ passion.  What I am drawn to in both accounts is Peter’s denial.  Both the gospel of Mark and the gospel of John detail Peter’s denial, but the denial of Peter is a bit different in Mark than in John.  On Palm Sunday, we heard Mark’s version.  In Mark, when the servant girl and others ask Peter if he is with Jesus, Peter three times denies Jesus, saying, “I do not know the Man.”  The denial is bitter to us, since we know that Peter not only knew him, but seemingly loved him intimately.  To proclaim that he did not know Jesus is akin to erasing Jesus’ presence in his life.  Peter’s denial of that intimate knowledge seems like the ultimate betrayal.

But then we read John’s passion narrative today.  Although Peter denies Jesus three times again, this time the denial is a little different.  This time, Peter is not asked whether he knows Jesus, but whether he is a disciple of Jesus.  To this question, Peter responds, “I am not.”  The denial in John’s gospel sounds less personal and less offensive.  Whereas in Mark, Peter’s denial feels more like a lie – to state that Peter did not know Jesus when in fact he did.  In John’s gospel, Peter’s denial feels more like a smoothing of the denial.  He does not deny that he knows Jesus, only that he is not a disciple of Jesus.  The trouble with this kind of denial – the denial of Peter’s discipleship –  is that in some ways this denial is much worse.  By denying his discipleship, Peter denies his relationship with Jesus – all that they have been through, all that he has professed, all that he has learned and grown to love.  Peter is denying how Jesus gave him his name, Peter.  He is denying the times that he professed his faith in Jesus – in fact the time that he said he would lay down his life for Jesus.  He is denying that intimate moment when Jesus washed his feet, and he longed for more – that his whole body be washed.  He is even denying how he passionately cut off a slave’s ear just to protect Jesus.  In John’s gospel, Peter not only denies Jesus, he denies an entire relationship.  He denies his discipleship.[i]

As I was thinking about Peter’s denial this week, I was reminded of popular movie.  Though the movie is a pretty cheesy romantic comedy, the movie Thirteen going on Thirty reminded me of Peter.  In the film, the main character, Jenna, is frustrated that her life has not turned out how she would like at age thirteen.  She is not popular, she is not a part of the cool crowd, and her best friend is a rather chubby, unattractive, but sweet boy named Matt.  And so, in order to reach what she thinks will give her the most happiness, she ends her lifelong friendship with her best friend, Matt, remakes her life, and when she magically wakes up at the age of thirty, she has everything she wants – friends, a job in fashion, an athlete boyfriend, trips around the world – basically the glamorous, comfortable life she always wanted.  All she had to do was deny her relationship with her best friend – even when that denial involved mocking him in front of others to gain status.

What makes that movie so relatable is that we all remember how monumental life seemed as a teenager.  One slight, one suggestion that we did not quite fit in could make our self-worth plummet.  Unable to see beyond what felt like ultimate importance at that age, we all said and did things that we look back upon now and feel shame for doing.  And although most of us would like to think we grow out of that undiscerning teenage phase, the truth is that we continue to struggle with those impulses into adulthood.  When put on the spot, we can waiver between the right thing to do and the most advantageous thing to do.  We can struggle with what our conscious would have us do and what we know will make us the most comfortable or safe.  When we are really honest with ourselves, we can admit that we are creatures who seek comfort.  We regularly choose the path of least resistance so that we can avoid conflict, keep the peace, or just remain in a comfort zone.  The phrase, “don’t rock the boat,” is a phrase that we use when we are encouraging people to just keep things as smooth as possible.  In fact, the only time we want to rock the boat is to toss over the person who is causing us discomfort, so that our boat can get back to smooth sailing – despite the cost.  That impulse is in every one of us, and controlling that impulse is more difficult than most of us like to admit.

That is why reading John’s version of Peter’s denial is so hard today.  Though we have heard the story a hundred times, there is some part of us that always hopes the story will end differently this year.  When we hear Peter answer the question about whether he is Jesus’ disciple, our heart breaks again when he says quite simply, “I am not.”  We mourn Peter’s response, not only because Peter’s response is a denial of all the goodness of his relationship with Jesus, but also because Peter’s denial reminds us of the times that we have denied Christ in our own lives.  We recall today the times when we have downplayed our faith to make others more comfortable; the times when we have avoided caring for the poor when we know that is what Jesus would have us do; the times when we have wrested control of our lives from God because we think that we know better; or maybe the times when we have simply stepped away from faith, or God, or Church because we just could not offer that part of ourselves anymore.

The good news is that in the face of denial, Jesus is ever strong when others cannot be.  When Peter is questioned, his response is, “I am not.”  When Jesus is questioned, his response is, “I am.”  When the crowds say they are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus says, “I am he.”  When they seemed stunned into silence, and Jesus again asks who they are looking for, Jesus says, “I told you that I am he.”  When Peter is faced with the heat of confrontation, he crumbles with an “I am not.”  But Jesus calmly, strongly, steadfastly faces the heat with, “I am.”  Of course, Jesus’ response is not just a response of strength.  His response is a claiming of the divine name.  Jesus takes the same name that God gives to Moses when God says, “I am who I am.”[ii]  Jesus is faithful, strong, and bold because Jesus is the one through whom God is revealed.  Though Peter is not, Jesus is.

In the midst of our failings, in the midst of our shame for the ways in which we deny and betray our Lord, Jesus’ words, “I am,” are what give us comfort today.  When we cannot be who we are called to be, when we fail in our discipleship, or when we deny our relationship and commitment to Jesus, Jesus firmly remains the great “I am.”  Jesus in John’s gospel steadily steps forward to his death, constantly in control of his death.  He carries his own cross, he dies with his mother and beloved disciple with him, and he determines when his mission is “finished.”[iii]  When we are weak, he is strong.  When we fail, he succeeds.  Jesus’ strength, his clarity in his identity, and his determined focus to the very end is our stronghold.  We will never be the as great as the great “I am.”  But by holding fast to Jesus this day – our strong, beloved, crucified Jesus – perhaps we too will be able to turn our “I am not,” into an “I am.”  And in the meantime, Jesus will lead the way.  Amen.

[i] The concept of the differences in John and Mark’s version of Peter’s denial presented by Karoline Lewis, in her Sermon Brainwave podcast at http://www.workingpreacher.org/brainwave.aspx?podcast_id=610 on March 27, 2015.

[ii] Guy D. Nave, Jr., “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 305, 307.

[iii] Nave, 309.

Sermon – John 13.1-17, 31b-35, MT, YB, April 2, 2015

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

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The dinner table is where sacred things happen.  The dinner table is where food is served that can satisfy a hunger, can heal an ailing body, can delight the senses, and can invoke a nostalgia like no other.  The dinner table is where stories are told, days are recounted, prayers are said, and laughter is had.  The dinner table is where places are set, dishes are passed, plates are cleared, and remnants are cleaned.  The dinner table is the host of all things mundane – like that frozen meal you threw together before you ran off to the next thing; and the dinner table is the host of all things momentous – like that gloriously planned and executed Thanksgiving meal that you hosted for your friends and family.  Because the dinner table can do all these things, the dinner table becomes the place in our home where sacred things happen – a holy site for one’s everyday and one’s extraordinary moments.

The dinner table where Jesus and his disciples gathered for that Last Supper was no different.  They had gathered at table hundreds of times in the three years they had spent together.  There had been learning and laughter, stories and questions, arguments and celebrations.  In many ways, all of these things seem to happen in the course of this one night during the Last Supper.  Jesus and the disciples are likely chatting up a storm, talking about the days events, when Jesus does something extraordinary.  He gets up, takes off his outer robes, and washes the feet of his disciples.  This kind of event is unheard of.  Hosts and well-respected teachers do not wash others feet; that task was assigned to a household slave.[i]  And some of the midrashic commentary suggests that not even a Hebrew slave was expected to perform such a menial task.  Instead, the slave might bring out a bowl of water, but the guest would wash his own feet.[ii]  So of course, a lively debate ensues with Peter, who does not understand what is happening.  Jesus washes Peter’s feet anyway – and washes Judas’ feet – before returning to that dinner table to explain what he has done.  He goes on to explain that not only will he die soon, but also that he expects a certain behavior after he is gone – that they love one another.

That is the funny thing about dinner tables.  They can bring out the most sacred and holy of conversations.  The dinner table is where one tells his family that he has terminal cancer.  The dinner table is where one tells her best friend that she lost her job and has no idea what she is going to do.  The dinner table is where the young couple announces that that they lost their pregnancy.  The dinner table is where the college student tells his parents that he is dropping out of school.  We tell these awful, scary stories at the dinner table because we know that the table can handle them.  The table is where we gather with those who we care about and is therefore the place where we can share both the joys of life and also the really hard stuff of life.  Though our table may have never hosted a dinner as beautiful as one of the tables Norman Rockwell could paint, our table is still a sacred place that can hold all the parts of us – the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.  We can share the awfulness of life there because we know that those gathered can handle it, and can carry us until we can be back at the table laughing some day.

What I love about our celebration of this day is that all of those things – the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly – were present that night with Jesus and his disciples.  So yes, earlier in the evening, there probably is a raucous conversation.  The disciples are gathered at the table, in all their imperfection: those who love Jesus with a beautiful innocence and those who greedily hope to be at Jesus’ left and right hand; those who humbly understand Jesus and those who want Jesus to victoriously claim his Messianic power; those who profess undying faithfulness (even though they will fail to be faithful) and those who actively betray Jesus.  At that table Jesus not only talks about how to be agents of love, Jesus also shows them how to love.  On this last night – this last night before the storm of Jesus’ trial, crucifixion, and death – a sacred moment happens at the dinner table.  And though we do not hear the story tonight, we also know that Jesus then breaks the bread and offers the wine, instituting the sacrament of Holy Communion.

We know the rest of the story.  The disciples, who still do not really understand Jesus fully, muddle their way through footwashing and Holy Communion.  Then those same dense disciples sleep their way through Jesus’ last prayers.  One of those disciples becomes violent when a soldier tries to seize Jesus.  And eventually, most of the disciples betray and abandon Jesus altogether.  To this unfaithful, dimwitted, scared group, Jesus offers a sacred moment at the dinner table, inviting them into the depths of his soul and a pathway to our God:  and encourages them to love anyway.

Our own Eucharistic table is not unlike that dinner table with Jesus.  Tonight, we too will tell stories, sing, and laugh.  We too will wash feet in humility, embarrassment, and servitude.  We too will hear the sobering invitation to the Eucharistic meal, and will walk our unworthy selves to the rail to receive that sacrificial body and blood.  We too will argue with God in our prayers, pondering what God is calling us to do in our lives and resisting that call with our whole being.  We too will lean on Jesus, longing for the comfort that only Jesus can give.  And we too will hear Jesus’ desperate plea for us to also be agents of love – not just to talk about love, or profess love, but to show love as Jesus has shown love to us.

In this way, our Eucharistic table is not unlike the dinner table in your own home.  Our Eucharistic table has hosted countless stories, arguments, and bouts of laugher.  Our Eucharistic table has witnessed great sadness and great joy.  Our Eucharistic table feeds us, even when we feel or act unworthily.  And our Eucharistic table charges us to go out into the world, being the agents of love who are willing to wash the feet of others – even those who betray us and fail us.  This Lent, we have been praying Eucharistic Prayer C.  In that prayer, the priest prays, “Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.”[iii]   This Eucharistic table, like our own dinner table, can handle all of us – all our failings, sinfulness, and brokenness.  This table can fill us up with joy, forgiveness, and peace.  This table can be a place where we find belonging, identity, and security.  But this table is also meant to build us up – to give us strength and renewal for doing the work God has given us to do – to love others as Christ loves us.  Sacred things happen at this table.  Those sacred things happen so that we can do sacred things in the world for our God.  Amen.

[i] Guy D. Nave, Jr., “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 279.

[ii] Mary Louise Bringle, “Homiletical Perspective, Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 279.

[iii] BCP, 372.

Sermon – Mark 11.1-11, PS, YB, March 29, 2015

01 Wednesday Apr 2015

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Today is one of those days in which the fullness of our humanity is on complete display.  We see that fullness in our two readings today.  We start with the liturgy of the Palms.  In Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem, everything is right.  The disciples finally follow instructions by Jesus to perfection.  They do not ask questions, they do not fumble – they simply listen to Jesus, do what Jesus says, and enable the procession of a lifetime.  And the people show us a glimmer of perfection too.  When Jesus comes down that Mount of Olives, the traditional location from which the people expected the final battle for Jerusalem’s liberation would begin,[i] the people respond as though they understand.  They spread cloaks before him, they wave palms, and they proclaim, “Hosanna!  Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!  Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David!  Hosanna in the highest heaven!”  Despite text after text of the people debating who Jesus is, finally there is clarity – a moment of truth.  And that moment is perfectly good.

But then of course, we also read the passion today.  And all that is awful about humanity is fully exposed too.  Religious leaders are plotting to kill Jesus, his disciple betrays him, the disciples deny him though they swear never to do so, they sleep when he begs them not to, the people turn him over to be crucified, they humiliate him, and they mock him, even until he is dead on a cross.  No one escapes guilt.  All are to blame for what happens that day.  And even we in our liturgy shout with the people, “Crucify him.”  We do not shout those words because they are comfortable – in fact, we like to believe that we would have never shouted those words.  We like to believe that even though Peter could not be loyal, we would have been.  But the truth is that we too have denied Christ in our lives – both publicly and privately.  This moment is perfectly horrible, and full of human sinfulness.

This is the frustration with the readings from Palm Sunday.  Today would be a lot easier if we could just read the palms lesson or the passion narrative.  To do both takes us on too much of an emotional roller coaster.  The extreme high of the palms juxtaposed to the extreme low of the Passion is almost too much to bear.  We would rather focus on the relief of the palms, knowing that we sometimes get things right, or we would rather focus on our sinfulness, knowing that we often get things wrong.  But doing both in one morning feels confusing and disorienting.

But that is the brilliance of this day.  All of humanity truly is exposed – the good and the bad.  Just like in each of us there is goodness and sinfulness.  We are never fully one or the other.  Think of the person you most revere in life – that grandparent, that teacher, that community leader.  They taught you so much about how to be a good human being.  And yet, even they had flaws.  You probably saw those flaws once or twice, but you buried them or ignored them so you could keep them up on their pedestal.  Likewise, if you were to think of the person you most detest in life – that bully at school, that slimy politician, that addict in your family.  As morally depraved as they are, there have been moments – tiny glimpses of goodness or at least vulnerability, that you saw in them.  Yes, they too are not wholly evil or sinful.

In 1969, Bill was a single, gay man in San Francisco who had always wanted to be a father.  Word got out that Social Services was having a difficult time placing boys with adoptive families, and so Bill went to the offices to find out if he might be eligible.  He met Aaron on one of his first visits to the adoption agency, but Aaron’s mother had been a heroin addict, and the two-year old had serious developmental issues.  At first Bill declined, but he found himself at FAO Schwartz later, buying a teddy bear to give to Aaron.  When Aaron heard his voice again the next day, he ran to Bill and threw his arms around him.  Bill and Aaron shared a happy family life.  Aaron ended up having neurological damage, and was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.  By his teenage years, he became a drug addict.  When Aaron was 30, Bill got a call from coroner’s office.  Aaron had overdosed on heroin.  When Bill was asked whether he ever regretted the adoption, he said, “You know, I still cry over the ending.  But I would do it again.  I loved him so much.  And he loved me too.  I was lucky in so many ways.”[ii]

That is the rub today.  We both celebrate the good and honor the depravity in ourselves because we know that God loves us no matter what.  God’s love is not sentimental.  As one scholar says, God’s love is “more like the love of a parent who washes feces from a pouting three-year old.”[iii]  That kind of love knows the moments of our goodness and the moments of our awfulness, and loves us anyway.  That kind of love is able to look back at a life tormented by addiction and mental illness, and know not only that he loved, but that the addict loved too.  Perhaps that is why we read both lessons today.  We need to know that despite the ways in which we betray our Lord and Savior, we also have moments of honor and goodness.  And despite the fact that we are sometimes the beloved, obedient children of God, we are also sometimes the disobedient, hurtful children of God.  And our God loves us anyway.  Amen.

[i] Charles L. Campbell, “Homiletical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 155.

[ii] Story recorded through StoryCorp on NPR, and can be found at http://storycorps.org/?p=57072.

[iii] Michael Battle, “Pastoral Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 156.

Sermon – John 12.20-33, L5, YB, March 22, 2015

01 Wednesday Apr 2015

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Early this past week, my daughter and I were watching an anti-bullying video.  Not only did the video talk about how to handle bullies, the video also talked about how to avoid being a bully.  The video described ways in which to handle anger so that the anger would not be deflected towards others.  My favorite suggested method was to take several deep breaths to help calm oneself.  I have tried teaching my daughter deep breathing on various occasions, so I was proud to learn that I was using an endorsed method for dealing with anger or stress.

Two days after watching our video, I was rushing off to the post office, and took what I thought would be a faster shortcut.  Midway through my shortcut I had to stop in the middle of the road for a tractor trailer that was backing into a loading dock.  The truck was taking up the whole road, but I figured he would be out of the road momentarily since he probably does this work all the time.  Much to my chagrin, I must have encountered a newbie truck driver because I swear the man must have backed up and pulled forward five or six times.  A line of cars was backing up on each side, and I found my aggravation and frustration rising quickly.  There may have even been some grunting or choice words offered in the safe confines of my car.  I had just given a huge exasperated groan when I remembered the video I had watched with my daughter less than forty-eight hours earlier.  So I started breathing deeply.  As my chest filled and my diaphragm rose, my mind began to quickly clear.  I began to see how ridiculous I was being – surely the extra three to five minutes were not the end of the world.  And if they were, I needed to seriously rethink my priorities.  And then I began to feel empathy for the driver.  I know when people are waiting for me to parallel park, I often panic and mess the parking job up a couple of times.  And then, a really funny thing started to happen – I began to pray.  I began to think about all those people who have been weighing on my heart, and I thanked God putting a literal roadblock in my way so that I could connect with the One through whom all things are possible.

In some ways, I have been thinking that suggestion about breathing is exactly what Jesus does in our Gospel lesson today.  In order to understand what is going on, let’s look a little more closely at the text.  Jesus has already raised Lazarus, Mary has anointed Jesus’ feet, Jesus has triumphantly entered into Jerusalem, and now the festival of Passover is underway.  Needless to say, there is a lot of noise around Jesus right now, as the responses to these events are intensely divided – from attraction, to anger and frustration, to reverence.[i]  In the midst of this chaos, some Greeks come up to Philip and say, “We wish to see Jesus.”  A phone tree of sorts starts – the Greeks talk to Philip, Philip talks to Andrew, and Andrew and Philip talk to Jesus.  Then Jesus answers with what seems like a non sequitur.  Instead of telling the Greeks yes, they can see him, or no, they cannot see him, Jesus launches into a speech about how his hour has come, how he must die in order bear fruit, and how those who want to follow him must be willing to lose their lives.  In the midst of this jumbled response, Jesus breaks through the chaos – the chaos of losing a friend and raising him from the dead, of having a friend extravagantly anoint him, of having the masses both shower him with palms and plot to kill him, of never having a moment of peace from people who want to see him, of trying to get the disciples to understand the price he is about to pay and the price they will also pay to follow him.  Into this chaos, Jesus stops and confesses a truth to God.  “My soul is troubled,” says Jesus.  Though he knows he cannot ask for his burden to pass, he at least asks God to intervene by glorifying God’s name.  In other words, Jesus cries out to God, “I am burdened God.  My soul is troubled.  Speak a word to your servant.”

Who among us has not gotten to this point with God?  Your boss is asking for more changes to something, your coworkers are not pulling their weight, you are still processing the argument you had with your mother or child, and the copier machine breaks down.  You stayed up late trying to finish your science project, you forgot one of your assignments at home, your best friend’s parents just told her they are getting divorced, and the teacher gives a pop-quiz on that book you did not have time to read.  Or you fought the alarm to get up in time for Church, in your rush to leave the house you forgot your wallet which means you cannot put money in the offering and you are driving without your license and credit cards, you get asked about the meeting minutes that you have not had time to type up, and before you walk in the door to Church, you get a call saying that your friend who had been fighting cancer died that morning.  In these moments we cry out to God, “I am burdened God.  My soul is troubled.  Speak a word to your servant.”

When Jesus cries out, when Jesus takes that deep breath, Jesus is given the gift of clarity.  In the hubbub of life, in the midst of people clamoring for his attention or trying to bring him down, everything falls away and Jesus hears God as clear as a bell.  In fact, that word to Jesus is so loud that even those gathered hear something like thunder in response.  In the thunder, in the clarity of calm breathing, Jesus is able to remember things of utmost importance.  Jesus is able to see with clarity that the noise does not matter – only what God has intended for Jesus matters – only who God intends for Jesus to be matters.  Jesus could have snapped at those Greeks wishing to see him.  Jesus could have taken on more burdens and agreed to let more people in to his overburdened life.  But instead, in the face of being totally overwhelmed, Jesus stops, takes a breath, and is reminded with great clarity what is really important.

In many ways, that is what Lent is all about.  Lent is a time to take a deep breath to re-center on what is most central in life – on the God who created you, who sustains you, and who beckons you out into the world.  Now many of us are quite good at centering ourselves.  I know many people who are able to identify in themselves when their anxiety or frustration has gotten too high, and who can within themselves take a deep breath and refocus on what God is calling them to do.  But many of us struggle with that practice.  We just keep pushing harder or start lashing out, assuming we can muscle our way through the anxiety.  Those of us with those struggles are like the ones in our gospel lesson who hear God’s voice like thunder.  God has to almost shout at us before we are able to really give attention to God.  That clap of thunder is like God’s clapping hands in our face saying, “Wake up!  I am talking to you!”

The good news is that either way – whether we are able to actually stop and quiet our minds and listen, or whether we are the ones who need God to more dramatically shake us up, God will speak to us.  God will remind us of whose we are.  And God will remind us of what we were created to do and be.  Now if you do not prefer being shouted at with the force of thunder, there are certainly easier ways to find that clarity.  Perhaps you work on that meditative breathing – either with a yoga class, by joining our new Contemplative Prayer Group, or just by committing to finding moments to breathe.  Perhaps you work on that meditative breathing by just showing up to church.  There are moments, especially in Lent, where you can find those quiet moments to listen to God – at the confession, during an especially moving song, or maybe as you sit in your pew before or after communion.  But just taking that hour for church can be your first step toward hearing God more clearly.  No matter where you make room for God, the promise is that when you do make room, the gift is a sense of calm that can make everything else melt away.  Those deadlines, those clamoring people in your life, that burden you have been carrying all fade into the background.  And your purpose – perhaps that part of you needs to die so that you might bear much fruit – becomes not only clear, but also refreshing, calming, and burden-lifting.  That is the promise for us today.  Whether you can take a deep breath or whether you need the jolting thunder – either way, God is breaking into our lives today and giving the gift of clarity.  Amen.

[i] Margaret A. Farley, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 140.