In high school, my younger brother was the “cool one.”  He introduced me to new music, new trends, and new comedies.  In my senior year of high school, he convinced our parents to let me take the two of us to a concert.  I was excited to hear the music, but my brother pulled me aside to tell me that I could not wear clothes from my normal wardrobe.  As we headed out the door, I looked nothing like what I normally looked like; I felt as though I was in a costume of sorts.  And he was right – I fit into the crowd much better in his chosen clothes than anything out of my own closet.  It was a strange experiment in trying on the identity of another group of people.

Imagine my deja vu when, almost thirty years later, my daughter invited me to join her at a concert of music that I do not follow.  Although she was happy to have me join her, she too insisted that I borrow some clothes from her so that I would better fit in with the concert crowd.  I was grateful for the help, but I remember that same feeling of trying on an identity that was not my own. 

I have been thinking that those two experiences are fairly uncommon.  In general, we figure out our style – our sense of identity – and we live our daily lives in those “clothes.”  Those clothes communicate something about us, and often make navigating in and out of work, social engagements, and community functions relatively seamless.  In fact, when others imagine us, they probably imagine us in the style of clothing we normally wear – whether preppy, athletic, bohemian, or something else.  What I got at that two concerts was a rare taste of what it would be like to move in the world with a different sense of identity – and to connect more comfortably with people whose identity is quite different than mine.

I wonder how often in life we miss out on unique connections with people unlike ourselves because we get so set in or comfortable with our own identity.  I’m not arguing that we should try to pretend or be something we are not.  I am encouraging us to explore what unintentional, or maybe even unconscious, barriers we have put up between ourselves and others.  The core commandments Jesus summarized for us were to love God and love neighbor.  I wonder how much we limit our love of neighbor by simply staying in our comfort zones.  What “new clothes” might you try on today to help you connect with someone you have simply seen as “other” and not as “neighbor”?