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Seeking and Serving

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Seeking and Serving

Category Archives: reflection

On the Myth and Magic of Advent…

10 Wednesday Dec 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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Advent, busy, Christ, Christmas, God, Jesus, life, love, productive, quiet, sacred, schedule, spiritual, stillness

Photo credit: https://christchurchofaustin.org/announcement2/

As a pastor, I am constantly preaching about savoring the quiet anticipation of Advent.  We even offer Advent Lessons and Carols, which has a more contemplative note than its celebratory sibling, Christmas Lessons and Carols.  But in everyday life, I am just as vulnerable as anyone else to the secular chaos in which Advent lives.  I find myself running kids around to obligations and performances, juggling calendar conflicts with all the special holiday offerings, and even add commitments myself because I want to maintain annual traditions.  Nothing about life outside of church feels quiet and centered.

I think is why I was so grateful for the gift of a minimally scheduled Saturday this past weekend.  Both professionally and personally the calendar was mostly clear – I even reserved the TV for watching a basketball game which I rarely can do.  As my daughter and I settled in, she proposed doing a puzzle together – an activity we always say we’ll do but somehow never get around to doing.  And so evolved an afternoon of sports watching, puzzle assembling, and the kind of conversation that can only happen when you make unstructured space for it.  When I got to close of the day, I realized that while a part of me felt guilty for not being particularly “productive” (no catching up on work, no doing household chores, no addressing Christmas cards), I marveled at how spiritually and emotionally productive the day felt with my daughter.

I know finding even moments of quiet anticipation in Advent can feel impossible these days.  There are so many things vying for our attention – many of them quite good and important.  But I wonder if you might be able to carve out some unscheduled time in these weeks left of Advent.  They may have to be in the car on your way to something, or while walking on the treadmill, or saying goodnight to the children.  Maybe it means making your way to church even if you have other invitations. Whenever you can find that sacred space, I promise the life and love of Christ is waiting for you in the stillness.  God is already there.  You are invited to say hello.

On Risking Failure and Facing Fear…

03 Wednesday Dec 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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anxiety, challenge, failure, fear, God, growth, hesitant, Holy Spirit, invitations, Jesus, joy, new, risk, try, yes

Photo credit: https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=parachute+jump+plane

I was listening to a podcast this week that was talking about how, as they mature, adults have a harder time trying new things because they have a deeper understanding, and perhaps fear of, failure.  Children don’t have this same hesitancy.  They try new things, figure out what works and what doesn’t, and keep at it.  There is a freedom in their development that allows them not to hold back or be afraid, but to keep trying out new experiences and challenges.

As one of my daughters ages, she is heading into that in-between time where she doesn’t have the same innocent willingness to try and fail, and is starting to understand that failures or inadequacies are sometimes noticed by others negatively.  She is trying out a new extracurricular this fall, and hated the first session.  As we headed into the second session, she pulled out all the stops about why she shouldn’t have to go back:  she wasn’t good enough, people weren’t nice, she would bring down the group through her inexperience.  In a moment of weakness, I almost caved.  I know how big those feelings are.  I palpably remember the anxiety that kind of experience brings, and I wanted to protect her from that hurt. 

When she came out of the second practice, she was a different person.  She was smiling, had a lightness to her step, and a warmth about her.  “That was fun!” she said.  As I listened to her describe the session, I was overwhelmed with two realizations.  First, I realized how close I came to cutting off a growth experience – how she would have never had learned the feeling of what it means to push through fear and find joy.  And second, I realized I needed to take a long look at where I am cutting off growth experiences in my own life.  Masked with the label, “wisdom,” how often do I fail to risk?

I wonder what growth opportunities are being presented to you today.  It doesn’t have to be something big or dramatically different.  Part of creating an openness to growth means being open to the little invitations – talking to a stranger when that’s not something you would normally do, reaching out for support when you don’t like feeling dependent upon someone, saying yes to an invitation to something that is not at all in your comfort zone but you admittedly have never tried to know for sure.  Those yeses prepare us for the yeses the Holy Spirit desires in each of our lives.  Those invitations are often God’s quiet invitations into God’s joy.  Those experiences are often pathways to the incarnate Jesus in your life.  I can’t wait to hear what you say yes to this week!

On Inhabiting Gratitude…

12 Wednesday Nov 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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act, barriers, God, gratitude, incarnate, practice, stewardship, tangible, Thanksgiving

Photo credit: https://www.southernliving.com/culture/what-to-write-in-thank-you-card

November is regularly a month when I talk about gratitude with my parish.  Most of that push comes from the confluence of things that happen in November.  We are almost always closing up our stewardship season in November – a season when we encourage parishioners to let their giving reflect their gratitude toward God.  We are also preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday – which although a secular holiday comes pretty close to being a sacred time of thanksgiving and praise.  And just yesterday we took the day to thank Veterans, honoring the sacrifices their vocations require and the blessings we enjoy because of their work.

This year, to help cultivate my own sense of gratitude, I picked up a calendar one of my favorite non-profits produced call “30 Days of Gratitude.”  Though some of the “activities” are to think about something I am grateful for, like a good memory in my home, most of the “activities” are more hands-on – like expressing gratitude to every member of the household or greeting a neighbor.  What I have loved about the calendar is the shift the calendar has created. 

Often when we talk about gratitude, we feel burdened – like we’re supposed to force ourselves into an emotion.  But what the calendar has done is make gratitude tangible – to act on my gratitude.  What’s beautiful about that shift is that the action is something I can do that has the unintended consequence of feeling gratitude instead of trying to manufacture gratitude out of thin air.  The calendar has made gratitude incarnate – allowed me to inhabit gratitude instead of simply emoting gratitude.  It’s a subtle change, but one that feels much more freeing.

I wonder how you are navigating gratitude during this season.  What are the barriers to you inhabiting gratitude?  What burdens are clouding your gratitude practices, making you more cranky than grateful?  Gratitude is not easy.  If it were, folks wouldn’t be producing gratitude calendars and journals.  I invite you to find the tool, the person, or the community who can help make your gratitude incarnate.

On Claiming Your Why…

05 Wednesday Nov 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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abundance, bless, church, community, God, grace, gratitude, home, obligation, why

Photo credit: https://worksheets.clipart-library.com/five-whys-worksheet.html

In one of my executive leadership courses we read about the “five whys.”  Developed within the Toyota Motor Corporation, the process is a problem-solving process meant to get to the deepest root causes of a problem by asking the simple question, “why?” repeatedly.  While this was intended for manufacturing processes, the “five whys” found its way into all industries as a way to help teams focus on the root of any situation. 

I have often said that at church, understanding your “why” is really important.  Using a system like the “five whys” to get to the root of a challenge before the Vestry, or a situation before the staff, or even to problem before lay leaders, discerning the real “why” before us helps us address the issue at hand at a deeper, much more relevant manner.

This autumn, our parishioners have been sharing their “whys” with our congregation about why supporting ministry at Hickory Neck Church is so important.  Through short video testimonies we have heard all kinds of whys, learned about the impact of ministries in our faith community, and been able to see the deeper meaning people are finding in our spiritual home.  Why would we want to know that?  Well, as we consider how we want to support the church with our time, talent, and treasure, knowing our whys helps us convert our giving from obligation to gratitude.  Once we understand our why more deeply – and the whys of fellow members – we begin to see the wideness of God’s mercy in this place, and begin to feel more committed to supporting this place that blesses us and others so richly.  Slowly, we see we are not being pressured to give, we are being invited into a vibrant, life-changing, purpose-making place that we can enable with the resources God has given us.

We’ve shared the case for Hickory Neck, we’ve heard from fellow parishioners, and now, we are invited to ask our “five whys” about this place we have come to call our spiritual home.  I look forward to hearing about the abundance and grace you find when you ask your “five whys” this week.  I suspect your whys might inspire my own!

On the Nose…

29 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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broken, Christ, grace, healing, Jesus, love, perfume, recollection, scent

Photo credit: https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image-film?phrase=perfume+spray

We recently spent some time with friends who are fragrance aficionados.  Often when we gather, we do a fragrance sampling, noting what we smell and what it evokes – and whether we could imagine wearing the fragrance ourselves.  Our friends are great guides, teaching us tips from the industry, helping us define fragrance-specific terms, and sharing the gracious wisdom that all scent evaluations are subjective.  The sessions are always a delight, sometimes leading us to new fragrances we enjoy.

When I returned home after the visit, I asked one of my daughters whether she liked a particular fragrance I was trying.  She confessed it was nice, but said, “I just prefer your ‘Mom Smell.’”  Through our chuckles, I asked her what she meant about a “Mom Smell.”  She couldn’t quite explain it, and I can only assume she meant a combination of the soap, hair products, or laundry detergent I use.  But I knew what she meant – like scientifically devised fragrances can, any smell can evoke the essence of a person or place we know and love.  It is the gift of recollection that comes through the sense of smell.

Her insight had me wondering if all of life isn’t about leaving behind traces of our scent, unbeknownst to us.  Who had a positive experience or a blessing through me that is recalled when the smell something reminiscent of my “Mom Smell” wafts by?  Who has been in a location far from me and smelled my soap or laundry detergent and remembered something kind and generous I said or did?  We all leave traces of ourselves in this world.  I wonder what gifts you are leaving behind, unbeknownst to you.  I wonder what recollections people have of you that remind them of the grace and love of Christ himself.  I look forward to hearing about what healing scent you are trying to leave for this broken world.

On Commitments and Gratitude…

15 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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blessing, commitment, God, grateful, gratitude, joy, list, positive, sight, stewardship, support

Photo credit: https://medium.com/@mnwieschalla/why-you-should-make-a-gratitude-list-every-night-before-bed-fc4a30196af9

One of the tools I use in my line of work is an executive coach.  The coach helps me examine my leadership and develop tools for higher levels of executive functioning.  Sometimes that means troubleshooting a specific challenge I am facing and sometimes that means skill development work.  Each month that we meet, we monitor progress and reflect on newly emerging needs or unresolved issues.  This month the content of our meeting was a little different.  We spent most of the meeting reflecting on things that were going well – successes to celebrate, progress being made, and joys to honor.  As I shared each positive reflection, I was reminded of other things to celebrate.  It was as if the positive news was multiplying, bubbling up as I recalled each source of thanksgiving.

In many ways, that is what we have been inviting our entire congregation to do in this season of stewardship.  Before asking parishioners to consider how they might support ministry with their time, talent, and treasure, first we have been sharing our joys – what good things are happening in our church, what positive impact we are making inside and outside of our church community, and what goodness is motivating our members.  Each bit of sharing has led to more positive, encouraging reflection:  from the mom who really appreciated the elder member sharing about how much he values the formation of children in our church, to the person who still isn’t sure they are an Episcopalian hearing about someone else’s journey to the Episcopal Church through Hickory Neck, to the parishioner who knows the speaker has different views from them but who finds a similar sense of belonging in this unique place.  We have found the sharing of our gratitude begets more gratitude – opens our eyes to the abundance that seems hard to see lately.

This week, as we begin to think about our commitment of support to our church, I invite all of you to start first with gratitude.  What is bringing you joy in your faith community?  What are you grateful for?  What keeps bringing you back?  Start today with a list of three different things for which you are grateful.  Write them down (or make a note in your phone).  Tomorrow, think about three other items, repeating the process each day.  See how the list grows, and watch how your sight begins to widen.  You’re welcome to have your commitment card and forms nearby (or the link from our website open in your tabs), but first, take some time filling your heart with gratitude before filling out the forms with commitments.  Let your commitments pour out of your grateful heart and your conversation with God before sharing those commitments with the community.  I can’t wait to hear how starting with gratitude changes your sight.

On Finding Commonality and Church…

01 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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band, beauty, Christ, church, commonality, community, concert, disparate, healing, meaning, music, unity

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/s/photos/concert-audience

Last weekend we took one of our daughters to her first concert.  It was not a band or even a genre of music I particularly like.  But she had been obsessing over every concert venue.  When the band came within an hour of our town, coupled with a big birthday this year, we couldn’t refuse.  So, off we went, playing chaperone to one of those fun life milestones.

While I cannot say that I came to fall in love with the band, what did not escape me was the beautiful experience of that night.  Feeling like a total outsider, I watched as everyone around me joined in commonality.  I watched as people belted out memorized lyrics, and they mimicked famous moves and gestures of the band, and as they shared excitement as each new song began.  I watched people who did not know each other exchange comradery and joy with total strangers.  I watched parents smile at the adulation of a younger generation.  I watched many disparate parts come together as one in that singular moment.

Now I would never claim that Church, especially a church in my denomination, has the same electric, communal energy as that night of raw, unfiltered passion caused by music, but I like to dream that some things like that night happen every Sunday.  We gather every Sunday as a disparate group too:  young parents, frazzled by life; retirees, finding their purpose in later life; singletons longing for a place of belonging; couples or families praying they are not alone in their experiences.  Those who are joyous, those who are grieving, those who are anxious, and those who are feeling good gather every week – not for a favorite band per se, but certainly for a favorite activity.  We gather to remember something bigger than ourselves as individuals, to ground ourselves in something better than what sometimes feels like the daily grind, to find oneness in the one bread and one cup.

Though I would never claim my church feels like going to a band’s concert, I do think Church offers a weekly dose of beauty, of commonality, of belonging, and of joyful purpose.  For those who are not regular church-goers, or even for those who have been hurt by the Church, I understand why you would keep your distance.  But when the Church is at her most Christ-like, the Church offers a weekly gift that might be a source of healing from all those hurts, isolations, and divisions of life.  If you ever want to give it a try, know that this community welcomes you here.

On Rituals and Faith…

24 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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church, disconnected, God, Jesus, journey, kids, pleasure, reflection, ritual, routine, television

Photo credit: https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/hand-popcorn-bowl

I grew up in a time where watching TV meant sitting down with my family at a TV at a scheduled time of a show (though eventually with the ability to record a show and watch it later).  The experience is somewhat foreign to my and my family’s patterns now, with so many on-demand options and individual devices, not to mention increased prices at movie theaters. 

That’s why I’ve been especially grateful this summer and fall with some “old school” experiences with my kids.  My older child and I started watching a show several years ago that released its final season this summer.  However, unlike shows who release seasons in bulk, this one released the episodes one at a time.  We found ourselves dissecting each episode, wondering what would happen next week, making “dates” to sit down together and watch.  Meanwhile, our local movie theater is re-airing a movie series in the theaters – one movie each week for eight weeks.  The movies are based on books my younger child and I have read, and we’ve been able to have our own set of dates, recalling favorite moments, making connections she hadn’t noticed before now that she’s read most of the books.  It’s been a delightful source of joy for both of us.

Having these experiences has made me think a lot about rituals – not just the content of my time with my kids, but the ritual of setting aside time, joining in something that brings us pleasure, making space for conversation and reflection.  Reflecting on these last weeks has made me ever more appreciative of the rituals we find in church.  Some are obvious, like attending weekly worship.  But others are less obvious, like how it feels to receive communion weekly, talking about what we learned that day through Sunday School or a sermon, or even the beauty of a post-church nap every week.  The ritual of being connect to a church community creates the environment for us to develop a relationship with God too.  I have no way of knowing if my children will be church attenders in their adult lives, but by giving them the experience of the ritual, they at least have some place to start in adulthood for making their own way to God.

I wonder what rituals need tending in your life this week.  Where are you feeling disconnected and disjointed, and how might finding your way back to those rituals feed your life and your journey with Jesus?  Or, if you are not so sure about that relationship with God, how might trying out some of the rituals with church open up some doors to which you didn’t know you had access.  I look forward to hearing about your what tending you want to try this week!

On Collars, Conversations, and Casual Clothes…

10 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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caring, clergy, clothes, collar, faithful, God, Lord, love, receive, serve

Photo credit: https://medium.com/test-everything/everything-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-clerical-collars-2faa4b84c092

One of our favorite family errands is making the Costco run:  grabbing bulk supplies and some special treats to stock the house for the coming weeks.  My experience these days is mostly functional:  get in, grab items on the list, avoid being tempted by impulse purchases caused by yummy samples, and get home.  But last week I ended up near the warehouse while still in my clergy collar and decided to make a run anyway.  I do not know if it was the collar or it was a full moon, but I could not seem to get out of the warehouse without myriad encounters:  from the older gentleman who started with a question about bread and from whom I had to drag myself away ten minutes later because I think he was working out some loneliness; to the customers who either stared at or asked me directly about my collar; to the employee at check out who, without one word about my attire, asked me to pray for the staff that day. 

I have been thinking about how different that day in the store was from days when I do not wear a collar – wondering how folks might see me as a safe person to share their questions, wonderings, and concerns with or without a collar.  For some, the collar is a visual cue toward receptivity – a signal that I am a pastor even outside the church walls.  I suspect that once my collar is off, I am not necessarily putting out “Come talk to me – I welcome your thoughts, cares, and ponderings” vibes. 

Every Sunday in church we talk about taking the church out into the world.  Our dismissal says, “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”  My shopping experience made me wonder how much I limit that loving and serving.  Do I only love and serve the Lord when I’m in the mood?  Is my selective loving and serving obvious to others?  In other words, am I somehow actively shutting down loving, faithful care in daily life by masking my identity as a child of God by wearing my “casual clothes”? 

I invite your pondering with me this week about how loving and serving the Lord might mean cultivating a receptivity to loving, open, caring conversations with friends, family, and strangers (especially strangers!) alike.  We all need down time from being on at work or in our family or our volunteer roles.  But perhaps this week, we can experiment with using some of our “ordinary time” for unusual encounters – seeing people as they really are, listening more meaningfully when people reach out, pausing when others indicate they could use some of your time.  I cannot wait to hear how the shift in your week goes!

On Discernment and Community…

03 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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college, conversation, discernment, gifts, God, Job, joy, passion, satisfaction, vocation

Photo credit: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-vocation-well-its-job-career-willie-chain/

Our older daughter is starting up the college tour in earnest this school year, and with that search have come conversations about college that were not a part of the conversations I had at a similar age.  Given the astronomical increases in the cost of tuition relative to income, our conversations with our children now include considerations like return on investment, debt management, and employability – topics I never addressed with my parents because going to college, let alone a prestigious college, meant things would fall into place for you – even if you chose a non-traditional path.

I have found this conversation bleeding into other areas of my life too.  The owner of the body shop I recently used and I got into a conversation about how we are guiding our children vocationally.  He shared how there is even a debate in his own vocation about the value of expensive, time-consuming vo-tech schools versus real world experience.  Even NASA has been conducting research about its own young employees who go straight into vocational training versus a traditional four-year college experience – most making six figures in their early twenties.

Of course, all this analysis came to a screeching halt the moment my younger daughter joined me in picking up my car at the body shop.  She was admiring some paint samples when the owner explained to her that he had invented some of the colors himself – some of which have been used by international businesses.  She then asked him a question I had not thought to ask, “What’s the best car you ever worked on?”  It was a simple question, but what her question taught me was something much more basic about vocational discernment: What brings you joy and satisfaction?

That basic question has got me thinking this week about how we value each other.  In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says that God granted that some are apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers (4.11).  Not only do we need to be helping our children discern what gifts God is nurturing in them, we need to do the good work of celebrating each other’s gifts.  I remember have a case of nerves in seminary about preaching a senior sermon.  Upon hearing I was nervous, a professor quoted to me from the song There is a balm in Gilead.  He recited, “Well, if you cannot preach like Peter, if you cannot pray like Paul, you can tell the love of Jesus, and say ‘He died for all.’”   

This week, I invite you to start looking at others with a different lens – searching for the unique gifts you see in others and celebrating those gifts with them.  Far too often we see the transactional nature of each other – the jobs we do or the roles we play and how those jobs and roles serve a purpose.  But I am much more interested in the vocations that are bringing others joy and satisfaction – a joy and satisfaction that can reinvigorate my own passion for the gifts God has given me.  I can’t wait to hear about the conversations you have this week!

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Recent Posts

  • On the Myth and Magic of Advent…
  • On Risking Failure and Facing Fear…
  • Sermon – Luke 23.33-43, P29, YC, November 23, 2025
  • On Inhabiting Gratitude…
  • Sermon – Luke 20.27-38, P27, YC, November 9, 2025

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