A little help…

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As a parent of two young children, I have had to readjust how I do about pretty much everything.  Grocery shopping is one of the trickiest.  My current method is to put my oldest in the shopping cart seat (luckily she is still small enough for that) and to put my youngest on my chest in a baby carrier.  This mostly allows my hands to be free for pushing the cart, getting items off the shelf and onto the belt, keeping up with my shopping list, and generally entertaining two kids while trying to accomplish the task at hand.  It works, but it also feels like trying to manage a tornado.  I am happy if I remember most everything on my list and get the groceries and family home safely.  But I can only imagine what this chaos looks like to outsiders; and truthfully, I have never taken a moment to observe how others see me.

So imagine my surprise this week as I was trying to keep my oldest in the cart and my youngest from crying on my chest while unloading our groceries into the car, when, out of the blue, a young woman appeared and asked me if I would like some help loading our car.  I really have no idea what direction she came from, how long she had watched me scrambling, or what made her approach me.  And I must admit, my first thought was to worry about a stranger seeing the other chaos that is my car trunk.  Dumbfounded by the offer, embarrassed by the knowledge that I must have really looked like I needed help, and humbled by the fact that I really could use some help, I hesitantly allowed her to help me.  Before I knew it, the car was loaded and she was gone.  As I got in the car, my brain was filled with questions.  Had I thanked her sufficiently?  Why didn’t I ask her name?  What was her story?  Why did she offer to help me?

But the question that lingered the most was, “Why was I so hesitant to receive her help?”  I have worked for several nonprofit agencies that help those in need.  I have often given lip service to how my children are not just raised by me, but raised by a village.  I often preach about the value of vulnerability within community.  And yet, my immediate reaction to a stranger offering to help me was to insist that I could do it on my own.

Of course, this is often my struggle with God too.  How often have I gone to God in prayer, and then immediately tried to take control again when I felt like I was sufficiently at peace?  How often have I complained to God about an issue and then refused help from someone who was likely sent by God in the first place?  How often have I been willing to wash others’ feet, but not allowed Jesus to wash mine?  My parking lot experience this week reminded me of how much my pride gets in the way of authentic, vulnerable, beautiful relationship with God and my neighbor.  It takes a tremendous amount of trust to allow that kind of intimacy.  But when I do, I continue to be amazed at the ways that both God and my neighbor really do rise to the occasion.

Sermon – Matthew 28.16-20, TS, YA, June 15, 2014

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There have been many jokes around the Andrews-Weckerly household this week about why in the world I chose this Sunday, of all Sundays in the liturgical year, to return from maternity leave.  Trinity Sunday is sort of a dreaded Sunday for most preachers.  This is the Sunday that rectors give to seminarians, curates, and deacons because they feel overwhelmed by the prospect of preaching the doctrine of the Trinity in the pulpit – perhaps out of a fear of committing heresy or just out of a fear of producing a theologically correct, but pastorally unengaging sermon.  And trust me, the thought crossed my mind to let our beloved Deacon Anthony pinch hit today.

The truth is, we all struggle a bit with the Trinity, even if we do not realize that we struggle.  Think about your prayer life and whether you tend to favor one person of the Trinity in your petitions.  I know people who habitually pray to God, but somehow get tripped up on saying Jesus’ name in a prayer.  I know others who feel awkward praying to the Holy Spirit, not really sure what language to use.  Still, there are others who do not like the masculine images associated with God the Father, and so they are more likely to either pray to the Holy Spirit, or use feminine language for God.  And that is just our prayer life.  Have you ever tried explaining the Trinity to a four-year old?  Words like “coeternal” and “holy, undivided,” are difficult to explain to a kid who has learned the stories of the Bible, but does not quite know how to make sense of the fact that Jesus is both the Son of God and coeternal with God – or that the Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus like a dove, but is also the same God as God and Jesus.

Confused yet?  The good news is that you are not alone.  The Church took over a hundred years of debating to finally be able to articulate a coherent theology of the Trinity.  Theologians Arius and Athanasius debated long and hard over the persons of the Trinity, who they were, how they related to one another, and what the implications were for those theological conclusions.  Though we are quite used to the Creed we say every Sunday, and the use of the Trinity in blessings and other parts of the liturgy, those creeds and liturgies did not just develop overnight or without a great deal of arguing and prayerful consideration.

And yet, here we are today, celebrating Trinity Sunday and reading Jesus’ instruction to baptize in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus’ instructions today are not just for the disciples – those instructions are for us too.  So how are we supposed to baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost authentically if we do not even really understand or feel comfortable with the idea of the Trinity?  Does our lack of understanding matter?  The first answer is yes.  We do need a working understanding of the Trinity, because a fuller understanding of the breadth of God helps us to engage in fuller worship of and relationship with God.[i]  We cannot go out into the world without understanding that, “The same God who is God over us as God the Father and Creator, and God with and for us as the incarnate Word and Son, is also God in and among us as God the Holy Spirit.”[ii]  In fact, our God is so big, so strong, and so mighty that we take an entire Sunday, Trinity Sunday, to celebrate this awesome God who is relational, self-giving, and full of love.  So, yes, our lack of understanding about the Trinity matters.

But the gospel lesson today tells us something else too – our lack of understanding does not matter.  The lesson from Matthew begins, “The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them.  When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.”  This group of disciples – a group who is already down to eleven – in their final encounter with Jesus still have some doubts.  Though they worship, they still struggle with questions, uncertainty, and confusion.  Jesus even has to tell them, “All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me,” because he wants them to understand who he is in relation to the God they know and love – a fact that they clearly still do not fully comprehend.  To this shrinking group of confused, doubting, questioning disciples Jesus declares, “I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  Jesus trusts them to go and to make disciples and to baptize and to teach, even if they do not fully understand this Trinity business.  Jesus’ affirmation of the disciples even in the midst of their doubt is an incredible affirmation for us today too.

So if our understanding of the Trinity both matters and does not matter, how do we live into this ambiguity?  How do we faithfully live as disciples in this tension?  Well, the disciples tell us that too.  We live into the tension in community.  While I was on maternity leave, I gained a new appreciation for the value of community.  I watched this community from afar as you took on new responsibilities in my absence, as you ministered to one another, and as you shared the Good News, even when you did not realize that you were.  As you baptized a baby, buried a matriarch, and worshiped outside in God’s creation.  As you visited the sick, prayed for the weary, and fed the hungry.  As you taught our children, learned from one another, and walked the streets of Plainview as members of this church.  You did all of those things probably with a sense of the triune God, but also probably with a healthy dose of doubt as you worshiped and worked.

Many of you have asked me whether I missed being away from church during maternity leave.  Though there were certainly things that I enjoyed taking a break from, I realized palpably how much I missed our community of faith during Holy Week.  As I watched each day of Holy Week passing, I felt a sense of deep longing and absence.  I had not realized how strongly I am marked by the ritual and presence of this community.  Even when I struggle to define the Trinity, I have a community of faith that always gathers and makes meaning in my life.  Being absent from the community during that time was almost like losing an arm or being a foreigner in a foreign land.

This day that we celebrate is certainly about the creator, redeemer, and sustainer God that we sort-of know.  This day is also a day that we celebrate the wonderful gift of a community of faith with which to worship and doubt together in a beautiful dance before our triune God.  If you have not taken a moment recently to fully appreciate the gift of this community, I invite you to do that today.  If you have been so busy with renovation projects, running a ministry, or just trying to get to church, take a moment today to appreciate the gift of this community.  Or if you are relatively new to this community, or just do not feel like you have found your own ministry in this place, I invite you to take that next step, and to find a way to connect more deeply to the life and ministry here at St. Margaret’s.  I think you will find a wonderful set of companions who do not have “it” all figured out, but who worship in the midst of their doubt – and who have a triune God who is with them always, to the end of the age.  Amen.

[i] Stephen B. Boyd, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A., Vol. 3 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2011), 46.

[ii] Steven P. Eason, “Pastoral Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A., Vol. 3 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2011), 46.

Both/and…

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I was fine until my older daughter’s teacher saw me without the baby, realized I had dropped her off at nursery school, and then asked if I was okay.  I really was fine.  But as soon as I tried to tell her how fine I was, my eyes moistened.  I kept my response short for fear that my eyes would overflow.  The truth is that I was not really fine.  I was sad:  sad to lose those moments of just gazing into my infant’s eyes; sad to lose that new experience of trying to get smiles out of her – especially since now her smiles are also accompanied by her whole face scrunching up in joy; sad to lose those moments of quiet rest, her warm body totally relaxed against mine, with no one else around to distract her.  Though there have been many periods of utter exhaustion, most of these weeks of maternity leave have been filled with the joy of the miracle of new life.  I have been thrilled to have the experience of having a newborn one more time, and I have been trying to soak up every moment.  And so, yes, I am sad for that time to be over.

And, I am also thrilled to be returning to work.  I use the word, “and,” and not, “but,” because I feel these emotions simultaneously.  I am sad to be ending maternity leave and my time with my newborn.  And I am happy to be returning to my work.  My work gives me such joy, meaning, and satisfaction.  It challenges me, makes me stronger, teaches me, and blesses me.  It is a tremendous privilege to serve as a priest – one that I am even more aware of having taken time away from it.  Though there are days that drive me crazy in my work, I cannot imagine living out any other vocation than my vocation as an ordained minister of the Church.  My love of being a mother to two wonderful girls does not negate my love of being a pastor to a community seeking, serving, and sharing Christ.

And so I am intentional these days about avoiding the word, “but,” when talking about my feelings about my two callings.  Instead, I am using the words, “both/and.”  I both grieve the loss of time with my children and I rejoice in being able to return to the other work God has given me to do.  Obviously some days the balance of “both/and” happens more smoothly than others.  But that balance is also the fullness of all the work God has given me to do – the work of being a priest, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a member of the community.  My prayer for the coming weeks is that I can resist those moments when the “but” tries to sneak its way into my language, and hold dear to the “both/and” that is the blessing of my life right now.

On prayer and parenting…

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One of the more regular inquires I get as a priest is about how to pray.  The truth is there are so many different ways to pray – ranging from formal methods to totally unstructured methods – that our conversations usually have to include what they have tried already and some teaching about what other options are available.  I usually send the person off with a couple of new things to try and encourage them to let me know how it is going.

Since the arrival of my second child, I have been thinking a lot about prayer – or rather, I have been doing a lot of it.  I delivered my child by caesarean section, and I found myself really nervous going into the operating room.  I am not entirely sure why, but I as I sat behind that tall white sheet, with my lower body numb, waiting for the doctors to prep for surgery, I could feel my stress level rising.  That nervousness only heightened once the operation began.  And then, suddenly, before I was even conscious that I was doing it, I found myself praying the Trisagion.  The Trisagion is a prayer found in the Book of Common Prayer.  The words are, “Holy God, Holy and mighty, Holy Immortal One, Have mercy upon us.”  The prayer is traditionally sung or said three times.  I lost count of how many times I said the prayer, but it became a way for me to focus all my nervousness and give it back to God.  Later, I remember thinking about how many times I have taught about mantra prayers, and yet this might have been the first time I really “got” how mantra prayers can be a source of connection to God.

Later, about the time that my daughter was a week old, and I was stealing as much sleep as I could on the couch, I noticed that the blanket I had blindly found in the middle of the night was one that had been gifted to us.  It is a throw blanket with the Lord’s Prayer stitched on it.  As I looked at the words, I started praying the words.  I have always loved the Lord’s Prayer because I can pray it when I have nothing left.  When I am bone-tired, weary, or just feeling overwhelmed, those words have a power over me and whatever situation I find myself in.  It occurred to me, as that blanket was wrapped around my body, how I was metaphorically enveloped in prayer during this unique time.

But to be fully honest, much of my prayer life these last two weeks has included prayers of desperation.  “Please, dear God, let her fall asleep this time.”  “Sweet Jesus, help her to stop crying.”  In my mind, these are not what I have traditionally called prayers that “count.”  They are more calls of despair and bargaining, which is not really how I imagine things “work” with God.  But as I have thought about it this week, I think these are totally legitimate prayers.  Part of a healthy prayer life is an honest, vulnerable conversation with God.  My being honest about how sleep deprived and frustrated I might be at 2 a.m. is not unreasonable – and in fact, God already knows how I am feeling and what I need.  Though I would not argue that this kind of prayer is the only kind of prayer one should utilize in their relationship with God, I think these prayers open up a path to more honest conversation – and hopefully more honest listening to God.

As I think back to all those times I have “taught” others about prayer, these last couple of weeks have certainly shifted some of my thinking about prayer.  The beauty of prayer is that the variety of options is truly a gift to us, and there are certainly different times that different forms of prayer will sustain us.  Whether we pray beautiful, ancient prayers or we offer up desperate ramblings to God, our loving, gracious God is simply happy that we are there – for once remembering Who sustains us, feeds us, and gives us strength.  Thanks be to God!

All shall be well…

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This week marks the beginning of my maternity leave.  My life has already dramatically shifted from getting ready to be away from church for twelve weeks, to getting our family and home ready for a new baby.  It is a time of anticipation, busyness, excitement, and a bit of anxiety.  As I assured my parish, I assure myself:  “All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well,” as Julian of Norwich would say.

Many of you have asked if I will still be writing while on maternity leave.  I have pondered this myself for quite a while, and I have decided that I will be applying my Lenten discipline to this area of life as well.  This year for Lent, I decided to give myself a break – not to push too hard, but to just try to be present in the moment, knowing that this Lent and Eastertide will be a time of dramatic change for our family and that God is in the midst of it all.  And so I may decide that I need the creative outlet, and will in fact be posting on the blog.  Or I may decide that I just need to be present with my daughter in the limited time that we have before I go back to work.  Either way, I am not putting pressure on myself.  So I suppose my answer is, “I don’t know.  We will see.”

In the meantime, I hope that you will hold me and my family in your prayers.  I know that new life is a sacred gift, and I look forward to sharing that gift with you…eventually.  Many blessings on your journey in the meantime.  I’ll see you soon!

Sermon – Genesis 12.1-4a, L2, YA, March 16, 2014

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I remember when I got accepted to Duke for my undergraduate education.  The invitation felt like a dream come true.  I was so ready to leave home and start my “adult” life, I was beyond thrilled to be able see Duke basketball games in person, I was eager to start my studies so that I could take on that big job, and I knew I would have a ton of fun.  As I packed my bags, I felt like the world was full of promise and hope and I just knew I was going to have an awesome college career.  And truthfully, my college experience was one of the best experience of my life on so many levels – one where I learned so much more than I expected, I made lifelong friends, I experienced my first sense of call to ministry, and I did in fact enjoy many a basketball game.  But that first year of college was nothing like the picture looking back now.  I had an awful freshman roommate, I struggled with the rigor of classes at first, I had a hard time finding a group of friends I really liked, there were multiple things I either tried out for our wanted to be invited into that I was not, and there were times that I wondered what in the world I was doing there.

As I listened to our Old Testament lesson today, I wondered how much Abram felt the same way about his own journey.  The very short passage from Genesis says, “The Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.  I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.’”  At first glance, Abram’s invitation sounds awesome!  He is invited on a journey with God and he is promised that God will bless him, will give him plenteous offspring and power, and that he will essentially be famous.  Who wouldn’t want to pack up their earthly belongings and hit the road with that kind of invitation?  The upcoming journey sounds like one full of promise, hope, and abundant joy.

Of course, there are a few slight indicators of how hard this journey might actually be.  First God tells Abram to leave his country, his kindred, and his father’s house – all without a map of where they will be going.  “In traditional societies the kin group is the source of identity, economic benefit, security, and protection.  To leave such a fundamental social network is to put a great deal at risk.”[i]  And then there is the text that we do not read today.  In the verses immediately preceding this text, we are told that Abram’s father has just died.  We all know what the death of a parent can do to a person, and can at least imagine the intense grief Abram is working under when he says yes to God.  And there is more that we do not read today.  The text immediately after where we stop also tells us that Abram is about 75 years old at this point.  So a man well beyond the prime of life, who is in the midst of grief, who has probably long sense lost hope of bearing any children should be able to guess that this journey would not be all roses and rainbows.

And in fact, we know that the journey is not as hope-filled as our lesson makes the journey out to be today.  This man whom God says will be blessed and be great hits all kinds of bumps along the way.  If you remember, Abram passes off his wife as his sister several times so as to avoid danger to himself.  When he still does not have any offspring, Sarai eventually convinces him to sleep with her handmaiden Hagar.  Though she bears him a son, Abram eventually casts Hagar and Ishmael out into the wilderness when his wife Sarai gets jealous.  And of course, we cannot forget that Abram is also forced to take his one son by Sarai, Isaac, up on a mountain to be sacrificed – believing all along that God intends for Abram to kill his only heir.  Sounds like a real journey of blessing, right?

That is the funny thing about journeys.  We are not often promised that our journeys will be blessed.  But even when we hope that they will be blessed, the blessing never comes immediately and is often masked by long intervals of pain and suffering.  We have lived that life here at St. Margaret’s.  Fifty years ago, God told the people of Plainview to, “Go.  Go from your current town, your church community, and the building you are familiar with to the land that I will show you.  I will make of you a great church, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.”  At least, that is how the histories read about St. Margaret’s.  Full of hope and expectation, large groups of people gathered first in an American Legion Hall and then in a semi-completed church building.  It was a time of anticipation and promise, and the people went.  Of course, no one could know what the next fifty years would hold – a slew of clergy, some staying longer than others; church growth and church decline; building challenges and times of construction to fix old problems; new adventures like a church cemetery; painful arguments with severed relationships; new friendships that will last a lifetime; a young rector who is not only a woman, but who also gets pregnant while she serves.  When God said, “Go,” who would have ever guessed the journey would play out the way the journey has.

Sometimes our Lenten journeys have that same feel.  We fill ourselves with pancakes, and then the next day, kneel with resolve to take on some discipline.  We look forward to the blessings of Lent – the intimacy with God the journey will bring, the learning will we do, the peace we will gain, or even the couple of pounds we might lose.  And when we hear a story like the Old Testament lesson today, we feel pumped up and ready for an exciting journey.  We may even imagine God making similar promises to us:  You will be blessed in this Lenten journey.  And yet, if we think back to any Lent in the past, we might remember how difficult our discipline became by week four or five.  We might remember how that cool discipline we chose did not really turn out to be as great as we imagined.  And depending on how stable we were at the time, that sense of failure could have brought more of a sense of curse than blessing.

How do we know that blessing awaits and what do we do in the meantime?  What do we do when those days come – because they will – when we feel discouraged and lose that sense of promise and hope that God gives today?  If we look to Abram, we see that our only option is to go – to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  The lesson today says, “So Abram went, as the Lord had told him.”  The journey for Abram is risky, full of potholes, and ultimately full of some wild twists that might have turned Abram back at any point.  And yet, “Abram went.”  We are lucky enough to know that Abram becomes Abraham – the man that would eventually become a father of entire people – in fact of several faith traditions.  But Abraham never got to see the fullness of that blessing.  His life was more one of blessing in hindsight, not really an everyday blessing-fest.

In some ways, that is all we can do too.  God constantly calls us into a journey – whether during Lent or in whole phases of life.  God promises to bless us and love us along the way.  But we know the journey will be hard at times, and leave us feeling discouraged.  And when that happens, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, and keep on going.  Of course, we have each other along the way, much like Abram had Lot.  In fact, the last words of today’s lesson are, “and Lot went with him.”  So whether you are in that blessed state of bliss, or you are already struggling in your steps, God still tells you to go.  Our response is difficult, intimidating, and profound, but also extremely simple.  We go, knowing God is with us.  Amen.


[i] Carol A. Newsom, “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A., Vol. 2 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 53.

Homily – Deuteronomy 6.20-25, James Theodore Holly, March 13, 2013

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Today we honor James Theodore Holly.  Holly was born a free African-American in Washington, D.C., in 1829.  Though he was baptized and confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church, he later became an Episcopalian.  Holly was ordained a deacon in 1855 and a priest in 1856.  He served as a rector in Connecticut and founded the Protestant Episcopal Society for Promoting the Extension of the Church among Colored People.  He was a friend of Frederick Douglass and worked with him on many projects.  In 1861, he left his job in Connecticut to lead a group of African-Americans to settle in Haiti.  In the first year, his mother, wife and two children died, but Holly stayed on with his two small sons.  In 1874, Holly was ordained the first Bishop of Haiti – making him the first black man to be a bishop in the Episcopal Church.  Bishop Holly served the Diocese of Haiti until his death in 1911.  Bishop Holly had a passion for the gospel and wanted to ensure that the Gospel was accessible to all.

Our Old Testament lesson today reminds me of what Bishop Holly’s ministry might have been like.  Moses talks to the Israelites and tells them their children will be someday asking them, “What is the meaning of the decrees and the statutes and the ordinances that the LORD our God has commanded you?”  In other words, “Why do we have to follow all these rules?”  And Moses tells the Israelites not to explain the rules, but to explain their history.  Moses sounds like an old grandpa, “Now let me tell you a little story …”  The children of Israel probably rolled their eyes, but what Moses is trying to remind them of is who the God is who gave those laws.  When you know that God is a loving God, who freed them from bondage and delivered them to the Promised Land, the rules just became a natural response.  So, luckily, the law is not followed “because I said so,” but because we know no other way to respond to the LORD who loves and cares for us so much.

That is the message Holly took to Haiti.  He wanted them to know how much God loved them.  That is the same message we share with those we encounter, too.  When someone challenges us about the hypocrisy of the church, the ways we do business, or the challenges we face, all we have to do is say, “Now let me tell you a little story …”  Your story may be Moses’ story; your story may be about a man named Jesus; or your story may just be about your walk with your loving God.  The point is to tell the story so that others might come to know God’s love, too.  Amen.

On the in-between…

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As I approach my delivery date, many people have asked me whether I am ready.  I think they usually are asking one of two things (or both):  1) Have I accomplished everything I need to do to welcome the baby?, and/or 2) Am I ready to no longer be bearing the physical burden of pregnancy?  It is the second question that has me in a quandary lately.  In many ways, I am so ready to be done with the physical discomfort of these last weeks.  My body is constantly hurting, I cannot seem to get a good night’s sleep, I cannot find a good balance between not enough exercise and too much exercise, and the kicking in the womb lately takes my breath away.  So in that way, I feel so ready to be done with this part of the pregnancy.

But there is another part of me that is quite sad at the prospect of this pregnancy being over.  This is the last time my husband and I expect to be pregnant, and so this is the last time I will ever experience the miracle of having a baby kick me from the inside.  This is the last time I will see my body expand in ways I never imagined possible.  This is the last time that I will be able to enjoy the sacred moment of rubbing my belly and knowing the two of us are sharing in life.  So in that way, I am not at all ready for this to all be over.

Where I struggle is in finding the balance between the two.  More often I find myself wishing days away and complaining than I do soaking in every last moment of pregnancy.  Once I realized the pattern, I began to wonder how often I do that with God.  I pray for some trial to end, I pray to just get through something, or I pray for more knowledge and experience so that I can do better the next time.  The truth is, perhaps I could consider being more grateful for the trying, challenging, painful times, knowing they will transform me into something different and better.  Perhaps I could consider looking for those beacons of hope in the midst of darkness in life – the way suffering can bring me closer to others who suffer; the people God puts in my path who offer comfort – even if I am not good at receiving that comfort; the intimacy I experience with God in the tortured prayers of the experience.

Perhaps what I am talking about sounds trite – consider the silver lining, or when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  But what I am slowly realizing is that God can sanctify those difficult times, transforming them and us into something entirely different.  But God requires of us many things – to be vulnerable, to be more critically observant, to expect God to be pointing to something small, but something really great.  I do not know if I will ever master this way of being, particularly in difficult times, but I appreciate the reminder this week.  And now, I’m off to go rub my belly and smile some more.

Homily – Ecclesiasticus 38.1–8, William W. Mayo, Charles F. Menninger, and Their Sons, March 6, 2014

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Today we honor William W. Mayo, Charles F. Menninger and their sons.  The Mayo family name is probably the most familiar to us.  They built the first general hospital in Minnesota.  In 1883, when a devastating tornado hit, the Episcopalian Mayos joined the Roman Catholic Sisters of St. Francis to respond to the disaster.  Their work together developed a new type of patient care that emphasized the whole person – spiritually as well as physically.  Building on the vision of doctors working as a team with other medical professionals, not just as solo diagnosticians, the Mayo Clinic eventually emerged as a model for integrating person-centered medical care with the best in cutting-edge scientific and medical research.

The Menninger family were pioneers in establishing a new kind of psychiatric treatment facility in Kansas in 1925.  They helped transform the care of the mentally ill in ways that were more medically effective and more humane.  They were involved in advocacy and public policy development to support the needs of the mentally ill.  One of the sons, Dr. Karl Menninger, wrote a book in 1973 about how recognizing sin, within us and among us, is a key component in personal and relational health.  Both the Mayo and Menninger families’ work was transformative because of their commitment to treating the whole person – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It is most appropriate then that today we read from Ecclesiasticus a passage honoring physicians.  The first time I heard this passage was at a funeral for a doctor.  I thought the blessing of physicians was a bit odd at first – why out of all the professions should they receive praise?  Certainly Jesus had an affinity for healing, and we have all been blessed by some medical professional at some point in our lives – truly we would be lost without our doctors.  But I think of all the other, professionals and vocations that are also blessings and wonder why physicians?  Once I was at an airport and saw a large group of those serving in the military returning home.  All those in the airport stopped what they were doing and clapped.  A friend near me wondered aloud, why we do not honor others in the same way – why no standing ovation for teachers, social workers, sanitation workers, and stay-at-home parents?  What would our world look like if we could praise each of us for the ways we actively live into God’s call in our lives?

That is really why we celebrate the Mayos and Menningers today.  Not because they are physicians, but because of the way in which they are physicians.  Their respect for the dignity of every human being is more to be commended than anything.  That is what the Mayos, Menningers, and our lesson invite us into today – to live more fully into our baptismal covenant and to our calls.  Amen.

 

On being dust…

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One of the gifts of being a clergy person is the moments of insight, intimacy, and holiness.  That gift is probably one of the primary things that keep me going, especially in the midst of weeks when the vocation feels more full of challenge than full of blessing.  The cool thing about the gift is that it often catches me unawares – I am busy just doing my job when all of sudden, wham!, God brings me to my knees with the enormity and privilege that this vocation is.

It happened yesterday as our church celebrated Ash Wednesday.  As my mind was distracted with my sermon, the choreography of the liturgy, and the elements of the altar, I suddenly found myself at the part of the liturgy where I spread ashes on each person’s forehead.  I had forgotten how incredible that moment is.  There I am, rubbing dirty, gritty ash on person’s forehead, reminding them of their mortality.  The experience is a visceral, fleshy one.  Some foreheads are covered with hair, some are oily after a day of work or activity, and some are polished and made up.  Some foreheads are smooth and non-anxious and others are lined with the wrinkles of age or stress.

But even more profound than the tangible piece is the emotional piece of the experience.  There is the woman who just celebrated 91 years of life.  I find myself wondering how many more years we will share moments like this.  There is the parishioner with whom I have shared laughs and tears, who is the prime of their lives, and whose death I cannot fathom.  And of course there are the children.  There is something profound about reminding a five-year old that they will someday die, whether they fully understand what is happening in the liturgy or not.

After everyone had received ashes, I turned to our acolyte and asked her to give me ashes as well.  In this time of growing life inside of me – as I have frequently fretted about the viability of my child outside the womb – I was reminded that neither my coming child nor I are spared from returning to dust someday.  Though that sounds like a grim thought, where it ultimately left me was convinced that no matter what happens, God is the firm foundation that I stand firmly upon, grounding me, keeping me humble, and reminding me of what really matters.

That is the other beauty of being a clergy person.  As much as I hope liturgies are meaningful to others, I find them equally meaningful to me.  Sometimes it is harder than others to worship while leading worship.  But this Ash Wednesday, the power and wonder of the liturgy and our God did not escape me.  I am grateful today for the powerful reminder of my humanity, the collective recognition of the fragility and preciousness of this life, and the blessing of a community who always gives me a healthy dose of perspective.