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Seeking and Serving

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Seeking and Serving

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Sermon – Mark 5.21-43, P8, YB, June 28, 2015

01 Wednesday Jul 2015

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baptism, Christ, communion, community, doubt, faith, God, hemorrhaging woman, Jairus' daughter, Jesus, powerful, saints, strong, weakness, witness, women

Today we are surrounded by some powerful women.  Many of you do not know Charlotte and Piper, who we are baptizing today, but they came into the world fighting.  While they were in the womb, their lives were threatened.  Doctors were able to operate in the womb at twenty-one weeks to ensure their survival.  Despite that help, they were born early and very tiny, but amazingly, had to have very little medical support.  Once they gained weight, they were able to come home and enjoy a healthy infancy.  My guess is that the strength these two children of God harnessed is what has pulled them through – a strength that their parents might regret when they hit their teenage years!

When we baptize Charlotte and Piper, we will baptize them into a communion full of strong saints – women who have paved the road before them, who have shown great faithfulness and strength, and who will serve as mentors and guides in their earthly pilgrimage.  We meet a couple of those women today.  First we meet Jairus’ daughter through her father.  Now, we might not think of her as a strong woman, since she is near death, but this young woman was powerful nonetheless.  She evokes such devotion in her father that he, a synagogue leader, is willing to bow down to the controversial Jesus and beg for healing for his dying daughter.  Jairus’ love for this powerful young woman made him willing to cross boundaries, to show vulnerability, and put great faith in Jesus.  We also know that Jairus’ daughter is twelve, about the age that women start menstruating, making them capable of producing life – one of the most powerful gifts of nature.  Though she is at death’s door, her power as a woman and as an individual bring people like Jesus to her, so that she might be restored to wholeness of life.

Of course, we also meet another strong woman today.  By all accounts, this woman should not have been strong.  In those days, menstruation alone meant that women had to be separated from the community for a period of time for ritual impurity.  But to have been bleeding for twelve years means that this woman has been ostracized from others for as long as Jairus’ daughter has been alive.  Furthermore, she spent all her money trying to obtain healing from doctors.  Her poverty and her impurity make her a double outcast.[i]  But this woman will not quit.  She boldly steps into a crowd (likely touching many people that she ritually should not) and she grabs on to Jesus’ clothing, knowing that simply by touching Jesus she can be healed.  She does not ask Jesus to heal her or mildly whisper among the crowds, “Excuse me Jesus, could you please heal me?”  No, she takes matters into her own hands, and though Jesus demands to speak with her, her own determination and faith make her whole.

In many ways, the baptism that we witness today is a same expression of strength and faith.  When we are baptized, we (or in the case of infants our parents and godparents) boldly claim the life of faith.  We renounce the forces of evil and we rejoice in the goodness of God.  We promise to live our life seeking and serving Christ, honoring dignity in others, and sharing Christ in the world.  This action is not a meek or mild one.  This action is an action of boldness – one in which we stand before the waters of baptism, and stake our claim in resurrection life.

Now, here’s the good news:  even though we are surrounded by powerful women today and we are doing and saying powerful things, we do not always have to be strong.  All the women we honor today are strong – but they have moments of weakness too.[ii]  I am sure over the course of twelve years, the hemorrhaging woman has doubts.  As bold as she is today, I am sure there are moments when she fears – maybe even that day – whether she could really reach out and claim Jesus’ power as her own.  And as Jairus’ daughter feels the life fade from her, I am sure she doubts.  I am sure she wonders whether she will ever be able to claim the life-force that is budding inside of her or to live a long life honoring her parents.  And though Charlotte and Piper have been warriors thus far in life, they will both have their own doubts and weaknesses.  In fact, that is why we as a congregation today promise that we will do all in our power to support them in their life in Christ.  That is why her parents and godparents promise by their prayers and witness to help them grow into the full stature of Christ.  That is the good news today.  For all the moments of strength that we honor in one another, we also honor the doubts, fears, and weaknesses.  God is with us then too, and gives us the community of faith to keep us stable until we can be strong witnesses again.  Amen.

[i] Mark D. W. Edington, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, Vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2009), 190.

[ii] David Lose, “Come As You Are,” June 24, 2012 at https://www.workingpreacher.org/craft.aspx?post=1493 found on June 25, 2015.

Embracing joy…

03 Wednesday Jun 2015

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Christ, church, constructive criticism, encouragement, faithful, health, Holy Spirit, improvement, joy, review, servant

Our Vestry and Parish just completed a Mutual Ministry Review – a time to reflect on the health of our congregation and to strategize about how to move toward greater health and wholeness.  There was a lot of positive feedback in the survey indicating the ways in which we have grown and changed for the better in the last three years of ministry together.  And of course, there was plenty of constructive criticism about what we can do to make our ministry together better.  Some of the feedback included things we could do quite easily, and some of the feedback will take longer to address.  But the Vestry was energized to make those changes and move toward wholeness.

Like with any feedback though, we quickly lost sight of all that is going well.  We lingered only for a moment on the good and positive work God is fostering among us, and we immediately dug in with the work we needed to do to improve.  Although I am super proud of our Vestry’s desire to dig in and do some of the dirty work of improvement, I want to take a moment to remind our whole parish of the need to prayerfully lift up the goodness in our midst.  Without being rooted in gratitude for all the goodness God has brought us, my fear is that we will be overwhelmed by the burden of improvement and not steadied by the encouragement of the Holy Spirit.

I was reminded of that lesson this Sunday.  This Sunday the Vestry started working on prioritizing our improvement work and making goals and deadlines for ourselves.  The work is important and necessary, but I must admit our spirits were a bit heavy.  But just thirty minutes before our meeting, in the context of worship, we honored all of our children and teachers who had participated in Sunday School, Rite 13, and Adult Formation this program year.  The transept was overflowing with people.  Because we use a rotation model for Sunday School, we had over 10 teachers and shepherds this year.  We had three teachers for Rite 13, and five teachers for adult formation.  For a parish with a relatively small average Sunday attendance, those numbers are tremendous.  And that does not include all the children who were present!  It was a glorious sight and a testimony to the good work we are doing to form us into a community that is seeking Christ.  Well done, good and faithful servants!!

Photo credit: http://urfamilies.org/full-of-joy-in-the-lord/

Photo credit: http://urfamilies.org/full-of-joy-in-the-lord/

My encouragement to all of us this week is to hold on to that moment.  Hold on to that image of a full transept of people who have spent the last year deepening their relationship with Christ, and marvel at the good work that the Spirit is doing at St. Margaret’s.  And give yourselves a pat on the back for the ways in which you have committed yourselves to being faithful builders of the Kingdom of God.  There will always be work to do, but my hope is that we can see the joy behind the work we do.  Because there is a lot to be joyful about!

Sermon – Acts 8.26-40, E5, YB, May 3, 2015

07 Thursday May 2015

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Acts, Baltimore, Christ, conversion, Ethiopian, eunuch, familiarity, Holy Spirit, life, listen, listening, Philip, race, Sermon, story, together

Have you ever heard a story so many times that you feel like you could recite it from memory?  There was a time in my life when I read the book Good Night Moon so many nights in a row that I could probably have told the story without even turning the pages.  But rereading books is not just a habit of young readers.  Adults do the same thing – we love a book so much that we may read the book again and again.  The familiarity of a story and knowing how the story will end can be quite comforting.  The same could be said of Bible stories too.  Though the Bible is a huge book with tons of stories, we tend to have our favorites that we read again and again.  We read and reread them because they give us a sense of comfort and they steady us in a world of chaos.

The challenge with a familiar story is that we sometimes get so used to hearing the story over and over that we stop really listening to the details.  That is especially true in our story from Acts today.  Philip, the educated evangelist graciously approaches the foreign, outcast eunuch and asks if he needs help interpreting scripture.  He then teaches the eunuch about Jesus, and graciously accepts him into the community of faith by baptizing in a nearby body of water.  In essence, this is a story about how the Jewish followers of Christ graciously open up the community to those who have traditionally been seen as outcasts.

At least that is how the story goes in my memory.  But as I reread the story this week, I began to realize that the comforting tale I had memorized is not quite as simple as I had remembered.  I had always thought of Philip as one of the educated disciples who graciously takes in the eunuch.  But Philip is actually an outsider in this story.  The Philip in our story is not the Philip from Bethsaida, one of the twelve disciples of Jesus.  This Philip is a Greek in Jerusalem, who is one of the seven appointed by the disciples to run the food pantry, the clinic, and the hospice program in Jerusalem so that the Twelve did not need to do that work.[i]  He is not necessarily well-educated, and in fact, is probably pretty disheveled and unseemly, given the relief work he has been doing with the outcasts of society.  The Ethiopian eunuch is an outsider too – in fact he is a double outsider of sorts because of his race and his sexuality.[ii]  Because of his dark skin and the fact that he is a eunuch means he would not have been allowed into the temple.  But this is no ordinary foreigner.  Yes, he is a double outsider, but he is also a highly educated, wealthy, powerful man.  He is in charge of the Queen mother’s treasury, he is prominent enough to ride in a chariot, and he is wealthy enough to own a scroll.[iii]  And although he is not allowed into the temple, he is returning from a time of worship in Jerusalem – so in some ways he is both a double outsider and a faithful follower.  When the eunuch invites Philip into his chariot, Philip is not the one being gracious – the eunuch is the one graciously allowing this disheveled man of faith into his pristine chariot.

Not only is there more complexity to the socio-economic status of these two men, there is also more to the interaction between the two men.  In my mind, Philip was the gracious imparter of wisdom in this story.  But in fact, the Ethiopian does not ask Philip to teach him – as if acknowledging that the two men are unequals.  The Ethiopian asks Philip to guide him – in other words, to journey with him into the Scriptures, and even eventually into baptism, as the two men go down into the water together.[iv]  These two strangers sit side-by-side and together read scripture and talk about what that scripture means.  Philip is on as much of a spiritual journey as the Ethiopian.  This is not a story about a well-educated follower of Christ taking in a marginalized outsider and converting him to Christ.  This is a story about two outsiders, unlikely to ever be sitting together, pondering the word of God together, and finding new life in Christ.

That’s the funny thing about stories – if we do not really pay attention and listen, we tend to fill in the blanks ourselves, often missing the big details.  As I have been watching the riots and racial unrest in Baltimore this week, I keep returning to that theme – that perhaps this is one of those instances where we have not done a very good job of listening.  I suppose I should not be surprised that we are not very good at listening.  We are a culture that talks over each other, that tries to force our version of truth upon one another.  I have listened to countless reporters this week argue with Baltimore residents and protests about their experiences.  I have read countless Facebook posts expressing anger and frustration about the civil unrest.  This whole week has felt like people are competing to have their own version of the truth being seen as the “Truth,” with a capital “T.”  In fact, just the mention of Baltimore probably has you thinking about your own feelings on the subject, mentally blocking any other narratives from your mind

When I lived in Delaware many years ago, I joined a group run through the YWCA that was meant to help foster healthy conversations about race.  One of the main rules of the group was that when an individual shared their story, we were not supposed to be in true conversation.  Each of us was to take turns telling our truths – without interruption or questions.  And the others in the group were to listen.  The method was so counterintuitive that the facilitator’s main job was to enforce the speaking and listening rules.  Although I struggled with the method, I must admit that I learned more in that group than I ever could have imagined.  When I listened – truly listened without assuming I knew how the story would end – I learned things about the experiences of black Americans that I had never known, and had certainly never experienced myself.  Truth unfolded for me like a blooming flower.

Those groups, and my experience this week of trying to prayerfully listen to the oppressed in Baltimore, reminded me of the interaction between Philip and the eunuch.  Back then, God’s chosen people and foreign, black, castrated men did not sit together and study scripture.  God’s chosen people were not accustomed to guiding people instead of teaching them.  God’s chosen people were not only not used to be called to accountability, they were also not likely to accept the criticism and change.  And yet, that is what these two men do.  And the only way any of this story happens is because both men listen – really listen to one another.

This winter I read a book called Toxic Charity.  The premise of the book is that much of the charity work that churches and communities do is flawed because that work is posed as work we do for others as opposed to with others.  The author criticizes communities that enter into impoverished areas, assuming they know what is best for the community.  Instead, the author suggests that those who want to help do so under the direction of those in need.  The main role of those who want to help is to assist the community in articulating their needs, and then empowering the community to make the systemic changes needed for long-term, sustainable change.  That kind of shift in charity work involves a lot more listening, humility, and a willingness to follow instead of lead.

In the case of Baltimore, in the case of Plainview, and really in the case of all Christianity, today’s story reminds us that there may not be simple answers to the world’s ills.  We cannot always fix what is wrong in our society – and in fact, perhaps we can never fix the wrongs without first being prayerful listeners.  As soon as we assume we know someone else’s story, or we know all there is to know about an issue, we have already shut down the movement of the Spirit.  And that is what this story is really all about.  This is not a story about how Philip converted a eunuch.  This is a story about how the Holy Spirit moved among strangers who had nothing in common and created commonality, love, and faith.[v]  The amazing work of Philip and the eunuch journeying to the baptismal waters together is only possible because both agree to vulnerably, honestly, prayerfully listen to one another, to learn together, and to be converted together.[vi]  Their story today invites us to go and do likewise.  Amen.

[i] William Brosend, “Unless Someone Guides Me,” Christian Century, vol. 117, no. 15, May 10, 2000, 535.

[ii] Barbara Brown Taylor, “Homilietical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 457.

[iii] Paul W. Walaskay, “Exegetical Perspective, Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 457.

[iv] Brosend, 535.

[v] Taylor, 459.

[vi] Nadia Bolz-Weber, “The Conversion of the Ethiopian Eunuch,” April 20, 2012 as found at http://thq.wearesparkhouse.org/yearb/easter5nt-2/ on April 29, 2015.

Homily – 2 Corinthians 2.14–17, Matthew 6.19–23, Andrei Rublev, January 29, 2015

16 Monday Feb 2015

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Christ, devotion, God, homily, icon, Rublev, senses, spirituality

Today we honor the life and work of Andrei Rublev.  Generally acknowledged as Russia’s greatest iconographer, Andrei was born around 1365 near Moscow.  At a young age he became a monk in an orthodox monastery.  There he began to study iconography.  Icons are central to orthodox spirituality.  They are used both in liturgies and in personal devotion.  Icons are not physical portraits, but instead are images of someone meant to provide access to the spiritual and divine.  For Andrei, painting an icon was a spiritual exercise. As he worked, he would reportedly say the Jesus Prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me).  His icons were ways of accessing God in a unique way.

I first encountered icons in college.  Having grown up in the United Methodist Church, the devotional use of icons was a foreign experience.  But on my ecumenical mission trips, I was introduced to modern icons of Martin de Porres and Oscar Romero.  The images were jarring and gave me small window into the lives of these modern-day saints.  These stories, in turn, inspired in me a new sense of passion for the Gospel.  This is what icons are supposed to do – jar the senses in such a way that one experiences God in new and fresh ways.

Our lessons for 2 Corinthians and Matthew highlight the ways our senses play a role in our faith.  2 Corinthians talks about the aroma or fragrance of Christ.  At first, that language sounded foreign to me, but then I remembered the many times incense has stirred something in my faith.  That one fragrance can totally change a worship experience, opening up the holy in unexpected ways.  Meanwhile, our gospel lesson talks about the eye and how the eye can be a source of light – like the experience of praying with icons, our visual cues are what bring most of us to a more focused place of worship – whether seeing a crucifix, the drama of the Eucharistic prayer, or the flickering of a candle, these visuals bring our focus back to God who is trying to connect with us in new and fresh ways.

Our invitation today is to find which senses might be out of touch with God.  Maybe we haven’t been really paying attention to the taste of the Eucharistic meal.  Maybe we haven’t been listening to the power of music to lift us up.  Maybe we have not been seeing the beauty of this space and all that the space inspires in us.  These are the gifts God gives us every day – sensing ways of making our faith fresh and engaging.  How might God be inviting reconnection with you?  Amen.

Sermon – Matthew 2.1-12, Epiphany (transferred), YB, January 4, 2015

15 Thursday Jan 2015

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change, Christ, Epiphany, eventful, God, Holy Spirit, magi, observant, seeker, Sermon, transform

At St. Margaret’s, one of the things we talk about a lot is being a seeker.  In fact, our motto is that we are a community of faith seeking, serving, and sharing Christ in Plainview.  Though we talk about being seekers or being a people who are seeking Christ, sometimes I am not sure we are all on board about what that actually means.  That is why I love this story of the magi today in our gospel lesson.  Though we may not feel like we have much in common with wise men from the East who have expensive gifts, the gift of the wise men for us today is that they show us what the experience of being a seeker is really like.

First, the magi show us that being a seeker means being observant.[i]  The text from Matthew today says that the wise men observe the king’s star at its rising.  Now, in order to observe a star, one must be paying attention.  One must be on the lookout for the movement of God in order to have an encounter with God.

We have a group within our parish who has taken to looking at the stars too.  Our Praying with the Stars offering is a way for us to connect with God through the observation of the stars.  That offering is one more way that St. Margaret’s helps us seek Christ in creation.  But the truth is that Praying with the Stars is about more than astrology.  Praying with the Stars is about creating space to observe the movement of the Holy Spirit.  If stars are not your thing, that is fine.  Perhaps movies or books or music is more your thing.  The point is that one can never really be a seeker unless one is attuned to the movement of God – or at least creates opportunities to open oneself to the movement of God.  The magi offer us that gentle push to create space in our own spiritual lives for observing, watching, and listening for the movement of the Spirit.

Next, the magi show us that being a seeker means that our journey will be eventful.  In this story alone, the wise men have two very different encounters.  First, they encounter those who are resistant to their journey.  King Herod on the surface seems quite inquisitive and eager to hear about the magi’s journey.  But we learn from the text that Herod acts more out of fear for his own power and control.  What was good news to the wise men was not seen as good news by all.  Second, the wise men experience being overwhelmed by joy.  When they encounter the Christ Child, the wise me are so overwhelmed that they are brought to their knees, pay homage, and pour out abundant gifts.  Experiencing Christ is so overwhelming that these men find themselves doing things they may not have expected.

Many of us know exactly what this experience is like.  We get roped into volunteering for a workday at Habitat for Humanity, and in the middle of the workday, as we are hanging drywall with a prospective homeowner, the homeowner says something that stops us in our tracks.  We are so overwhelmed by the encounter that all we can do is marvel at God working in our midst.  Or we are sitting in worship for the millionth time, hearing the same Eucharistic prayer again, when a word or a phrase catches us up short.  Suddenly, what we are doing at the Eucharistic table takes on a fresh, jarring perspective.  Or maybe we are having a simple conversation with a fellow parishioner about the way that their sacrificial giving has changed their walk with Christ.  The next time we write our pledge check, something is changed in us forever – even the sensation of the pen on the paper of our check feels different.

Finally, the magi show us that being a seeker means that our lives will be changed.  When the wise men are done with their visit with the holy family, they do not simply return home the same way that they came.  They do not even return to Herod as Herod had asked them to return.  No, in the midst of their visit, the wise men have a dream that warns them to go another way.  And so, they return home, but by a way that is not familiar.  The magi teach us that when you meet Christ, “Nothing is ever the same.  You don’t take the old road any longer.  You unfold a new map, and discover an alternate path.”[ii]

For those of us who have assumed the life of the seeker, we know this truth all too well.  If we commit our lives to truly seeking God, not idly going through the motions, we experience things that are just too transformative to leave us the same.  We can no longer be the old selves that we once were.  My friends who are vegetarians all have a story.  Whether they read The Jungle in high school, or they saw Fast Food Nation after college, some experience led them to disavow the eating of meat.  Whatever they learned or experienced, they could not unlearn.  And so they were transformed and their eating life was transformed.  The same is true for us.  When we seek and experience Christ – whether in our experiences with the poor, in our experiences with fellow parishioners, or even as we taste Christ in the holy meal – we too are transformed into something that cannot be undone.

That is the gift of the magi for us today.  They show us how to be seekers:  seekers who are observant, seekers who expect eventfulness, and seekers who realize they will be forever changed.  As the drama of their journey unfolds, they invite us to allow our own spiritual journey of seeking to unfold.  The promise is that the Holy Spirit will transform us, over and over again.  We only need to take the first step.  Amen.

[i] Steve Pankey, “Are You Paying Attention?” December 29, 2014 at https://draughtingtheology.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/are-you-paying-attention/.

[ii] James C. Howell, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, Vol. 1 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 216.

Keeping Christ in Christmas…

19 Friday Dec 2014

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Christ, Christmas, church, encourage, guilt, Jesus, uplifting, witness

I live in an area of our country that has a lot of “Keep Christ in Christmas,” signs.  I think people post these signs for all sorts of reasons:  for fear that Christmas has become too secular and lost its focus on the birth of the Christ Child; out of resistance to Christmas becoming a consumerist holiday; as a defensive response to what feels like a mandate to be “politically correct,” (i.e. saying “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!”).  Many of these arguments make sense to me.  I myself have a hard time explaining to my five-year old why Christmas is both the celebration of Jesus’ birth and the day Santa Claus comes.  I too feel lured in by the advertisements that want me to spend more money than I have in order to show my love and affection.  I too want to be fully Christian, not wanting to minimize my faith in order to honor others’ faith.  In fact, it was not until I moved to a community with a large Jewish population that I really had to think about whether my “Merry Christmas!” greeting was even appropriate.

But here is my issue:  when I see those (sometimes very large) signs posted all around town, they do not sound like a gentle reminder or encouragement to return to our Lord.  When I see them, I feel like someone is shouting at me, “Keep Christ in Christmas!!”  Those signs do not feel well-intended, encouraging, or uplifting.  They seem angry, defensive, and off-putting.  They make me feel like I am guilty and should be ashamed of something.  And if I, as a priest in the Church, feel criticized, judged, and reprimanded by the signs, imagine how someone feels who knows very little about the Church.

Courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/uCatholic/photos/pb.123119221038808.-2207520000.1418930355./1004120959605292/?type=3&theater

Courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/uCatholic/photos/pb.123119221038808.-2207520000.1418930355./1004120959605292/?type=3&theater

A meme has recently been floating around that helped me identify what it is that is so off-putting about the normal “Keep Christ in Christmas” sign.  The sign says, “Want to keep Christ in Christmas?  Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies.”  The quote comes from Steve Maraboli, and I think his words get at my struggle.  What I like about this quote is that it does not just describe how to reclaim a holiday.  This quote describes how to live as an authentic Christian, to live like Christ, in the midst of this holiday.  That is a much more powerful witness to me than simply insisting people keep Christ in Christmas.  Perhaps instead of saying “Keep Christ in Christmas,” our message could be, “Be Christ this Christmas.”  When we busy ourselves with being Christ to others it is a lot easier to remember the reason for the season – no fussing and finger-wagging necessary.

With these hands…

08 Wednesday Oct 2014

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Christ, control, gift, God, hands, love, ministry, vocation

Courtesy of http://www.alisonslist.com/healing-for-life-day-6-a-healing-hour/

Courtesy of http://www.alisonslist.com/healing-for-life-day-6-a-healing-hour/

When I was ordained as a priest, the bishop anointed my hands.  The bishop explained to me that my hands would be used by God for the work of ministry.  At the time, I thought about various ways my hands might be used – for consecrating the Eucharist, for blessing the people, for baptizing the faithful, and for writing sermons and blog posts.  What I had not fully understood was that my hands would become a lifeline of support, care, and love – an extension of Christ’s loving embrace.  Though as an extrovert, I tend to rely on my words for ministry, there would be times when my words could not do the work – only my hands were needed.

The lesson was one that my chaplaincy supervisor had tried to teach me many years before.  I had expressed to my supervisor how I was struggling with some of the non-verbal patients because I felt like I was paralyzed.  By not being able to have a conversation, I felt like I was doing nothing.  In fact, my visits with non-verbal patients tended to be the shortest.  But one particular patient that summer helped me start to break through that fear.  I had been visiting the patient off and on for a couple of weeks, when the nurses asked me to come for another visit.  They were worried that the patient was not far from death.  When I went to the patient’s room, the patient was groggy, but was able to speak a little.  Sooner than I would have liked, the patient’s words were no longer available.  Uncertain what to do next, I offered my hand to the patient.  I was surprised at the force with which the patient grabbed my hand – squeezing so hard that had it been any other situation, I would have pulled away.  But instead, I let the patient cling to my hand with a fierceness of emotion, and we sat there in silence for quite some time.  Somehow, the strength of the grasp filled the room like a shout, and all the words that would have normally bubbled out of my mouth were finally silenced.  Later, after leaving the room, I remember the strange sensation of my hands – as if I were seeing them for the first time.

I was reminded of that powerful lesson earlier this week.  I was pumping while my six-month old was swinging in her swing.  She was fussy, fighting off sleep with wails and writhing.  I had tried soothing her with toys, a pacifier, and coos, but nothing was working.  Finally she reached out her hand toward me, and I grasped it.  I could not pick her up, but I could certainly hold her hand.  As I rubbed the back of her tiny hand, smiling and looking lovingly into her eyes, my daughter slowly calmed down, and managed to give in to sleep.  Though the feel of her hand in mine was totally different from the grasp of an adult, I became keenly aware of my hands once again.  As she drifted off, my thoughts marveled at the many different ways Christ has used my hands over the years.  Both in my vocation as priest and in my vocation as mother, God is constantly using me, literally using my hands, to be a blessing;  and in return, filling me up with joy, renewed vigor, and peace.

When my chaplaincy supervisor warned me that I would not always be able to talk my way through situations, I resisted at first.  I suppose words are my way of trying to exert some sense of control – in essence, my resistance in acknowledging Who is really in control.  Several years later, I am so grateful for the encouragement to embrace that lesson.  As God reminds me over and over Who is in charge within my vocations, I feel relief more than frustration.  The burden of being in control is lifted.  The failings of my words no longer feel like failings.  And I am profoundly grateful for the gift of hands that have been anointed to do God’s work.

Homily – John 17.17-23, Isabel Florence Hapgood, June 26, 2014

09 Wednesday Jul 2014

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Christ, disciples, expression, faith, God, homily, Isabel Florence Hapgood, worship

Today we honor Isabel Florence Hapgood.  Isabel was a lifelong Episcopalian who was a force behind ecumenical relations between Episcopalians and Russian Orthodoxy in the United States around the turn of the twentieth century.  Born in Massachusetts, she was a superior student, with an aptitude for languages.  She mastered Latin, French, Russian, Polish, and Church Slavonic.  She was able to translate subtleties of Russian into English, translating the works of Tolstoy and other greats.  She was also a prolific journalist.  It was travel in the late 1880s in Russia that cemented a lifelong love of Russia – especially the Russian Orthodox Church.  In fact, she loved its great Divine Liturgy so much that she got permission to translate the liturgies into English – work that was well received in Russia and in North America.  Her work for the common life among the Russian Orthodox in North America, her desire for closer relations between Russian Orthodox and Episcopalians, and her making the liturgical treasures of the Russian Orthodox tradition available to the English-speaking world has made her renowned.

Isabel saw what any of us have seen who have traveled.  Sometimes the faith expression of other groups helps us to see God more fully.  When I was in seminary, we were regularly responsible for leading prayers.  We often found ourselves in a section of the library that contained prayer books from around the world.  Popular favorites were from South Africa and New Zealand.  But others were influenced by Celtic worship or even the current English prayer book.  Somehow, other cultures’ liturgies helped us to see God and express our faith even better than we could through our own familiar patterns.

What Isabel and perhaps we were on to is hinted at in our gospel lesson today.  Jesus is praying for the disciples, that they may all be one.  Though I don’t think Jesus was anticipating the development of the church into various denominations, what his prayer hints at is that the Christian faith is one when we recognize Christ in one another – despite cultural and theological differences.

We experience that truth in the Plainview-Old Bethpage Interfaith group here.  Worshipping with other denominations and faiths helps us to see God more fully.  We experience that truth when we travel and worship in other churches and traditions.  Even our own worship is enhanced by our beautiful St. Margaret icon, painted by a Greek Orthodox iconographer.  Our experience of God is at its fullest when we recognize that we are all loved in and through Christ and we all reveal Christ to one another in big ways and small ways.  Amen.

Both/and…

11 Wednesday Jun 2014

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Uncategorized

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and, blessing, both, Christ, maternity, parenting, priesthood, tension, vocation, work

Courtesy of http://www.vineyardusa.org/site/articles/both-and

Courtesy of http://www.vineyardusa.org/site/articles/both-and

I was fine until my older daughter’s teacher saw me without the baby, realized I had dropped her off at nursery school, and then asked if I was okay.  I really was fine.  But as soon as I tried to tell her how fine I was, my eyes moistened.  I kept my response short for fear that my eyes would overflow.  The truth is that I was not really fine.  I was sad:  sad to lose those moments of just gazing into my infant’s eyes; sad to lose that new experience of trying to get smiles out of her – especially since now her smiles are also accompanied by her whole face scrunching up in joy; sad to lose those moments of quiet rest, her warm body totally relaxed against mine, with no one else around to distract her.  Though there have been many periods of utter exhaustion, most of these weeks of maternity leave have been filled with the joy of the miracle of new life.  I have been thrilled to have the experience of having a newborn one more time, and I have been trying to soak up every moment.  And so, yes, I am sad for that time to be over.

And, I am also thrilled to be returning to work.  I use the word, “and,” and not, “but,” because I feel these emotions simultaneously.  I am sad to be ending maternity leave and my time with my newborn.  And I am happy to be returning to my work.  My work gives me such joy, meaning, and satisfaction.  It challenges me, makes me stronger, teaches me, and blesses me.  It is a tremendous privilege to serve as a priest – one that I am even more aware of having taken time away from it.  Though there are days that drive me crazy in my work, I cannot imagine living out any other vocation than my vocation as an ordained minister of the Church.  My love of being a mother to two wonderful girls does not negate my love of being a pastor to a community seeking, serving, and sharing Christ.

And so I am intentional these days about avoiding the word, “but,” when talking about my feelings about my two callings.  Instead, I am using the words, “both/and.”  I both grieve the loss of time with my children and I rejoice in being able to return to the other work God has given me to do.  Obviously some days the balance of “both/and” happens more smoothly than others.  But that balance is also the fullness of all the work God has given me to do – the work of being a priest, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a member of the community.  My prayer for the coming weeks is that I can resist those moments when the “but” tries to sneak its way into my language, and hold dear to the “both/and” that is the blessing of my life right now.

Varieties of gifts…

26 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Uncategorized

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body, Christ, church, gifts, God, variety

-courtesy of dwellingintheword.wordpress.com

-courtesy of dwellingintheword.wordpress.com

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone.  To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.  To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit,  to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit,  to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.  All these are activated by one and the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses.  For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.  -1 Corinthians 12.4-12

This Saturday, our parish is hosting its Annual Fall Fair.  The event is pretty huge.  We start our work as early as the late winter, and the final pieces come into place in this last week.  Everyone has a role – whether it is accumulating items for and assembling raffle baskets, clearing out closets for attic treasures, asking for donations for raffle prizes, making crafts or baked goods for sale, running the food truck, helping with parking, laying out spaces for vendors, coordinating all the vendors, or helping put up signs for the event.  And the list is much, much longer.  Everyone seems to find a role a play, no matter what their age or ability.  It is truly amazing to watch.

Though this last week of preparation can be crazy, what I love watching is the body of Christ at work.  I really see the fullness of gifts in our parish, and I am blown away by the way that everyone offers their varieties of gifts.  It makes me so proud to watch our parishioners work hard together and I cannot wait to see the fruits of their labor on Saturday.

What is especially great about this week is that this week is a microcosm of what life is like every week at St. Margaret’s.  Though I might not see as many people through the office and on the property in a given week, we really do offer all our gifts throughout the year.  Our teachers teach our young children, our graphics designers help with our artistic work, our folks called to prayer and pastoral care pray for our parishioners and visit the sick, our gardeners tend our garden and take the produce to the hungry, and our altar guild prepares the Table.  Without any one of these gifts, St. Margaret’s would not display the fullness of Christ; and at the same time, we are humble enough to know that St. Margaret’s is not yet complete – that we are missing members with gifts that we do not have.  And so, we are always wondering who God will bring through our doors, how chance encounters might enrich our corporate life, and how God is ever inviting us to grow the body of Christ.  We are a community who needs our varieties of gifts – which means we need you too.

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