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On Risking Failure and Facing Fear…

03 Wednesday Dec 2025

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Photo credit: https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=parachute+jump+plane

I was listening to a podcast this week that was talking about how, as they mature, adults have a harder time trying new things because they have a deeper understanding, and perhaps fear of, failure.  Children don’t have this same hesitancy.  They try new things, figure out what works and what doesn’t, and keep at it.  There is a freedom in their development that allows them not to hold back or be afraid, but to keep trying out new experiences and challenges.

As one of my daughters ages, she is heading into that in-between time where she doesn’t have the same innocent willingness to try and fail, and is starting to understand that failures or inadequacies are sometimes noticed by others negatively.  She is trying out a new extracurricular this fall, and hated the first session.  As we headed into the second session, she pulled out all the stops about why she shouldn’t have to go back:  she wasn’t good enough, people weren’t nice, she would bring down the group through her inexperience.  In a moment of weakness, I almost caved.  I know how big those feelings are.  I palpably remember the anxiety that kind of experience brings, and I wanted to protect her from that hurt. 

When she came out of the second practice, she was a different person.  She was smiling, had a lightness to her step, and a warmth about her.  “That was fun!” she said.  As I listened to her describe the session, I was overwhelmed with two realizations.  First, I realized how close I came to cutting off a growth experience – how she would have never had learned the feeling of what it means to push through fear and find joy.  And second, I realized I needed to take a long look at where I am cutting off growth experiences in my own life.  Masked with the label, “wisdom,” how often do I fail to risk?

I wonder what growth opportunities are being presented to you today.  It doesn’t have to be something big or dramatically different.  Part of creating an openness to growth means being open to the little invitations – talking to a stranger when that’s not something you would normally do, reaching out for support when you don’t like feeling dependent upon someone, saying yes to an invitation to something that is not at all in your comfort zone but you admittedly have never tried to know for sure.  Those yeses prepare us for the yeses the Holy Spirit desires in each of our lives.  Those invitations are often God’s quiet invitations into God’s joy.  Those experiences are often pathways to the incarnate Jesus in your life.  I can’t wait to hear what you say yes to this week!

Sermon – Genesis 15.1-6, Hebrews 11.1-3, 8-16, Luke 12.32-40, P14, YC, August 10, 2025

27 Wednesday Aug 2025

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We have been in a season of Vacation Bible School.  As I watched our kids learning songs at Vacation Bible School this week, I found myself reminiscing about all the songs I learned as a kid at VBS – Deep and Wide, Jesus Loves Me, and, probably the most fun and robust, Father Abraham, complete with full-body motions and increasing speed.  Watching the joy of our children, and experiencing my own nostalgia for that innocent time of my life left me so grateful for our continued ministry with the children of our community.

Unfortunately, thinking about Father Abraham and his many sons and the admonishment “Let’s just praise the Lord,” collided with our lectionary readings this week.  Though we talk about God’s abundance with our children, our adult selves know all too well the rest of the story – both for Abraham and for ourselves.  Our lesson from Genesis sets the stage.  Abraham is still Abram at this point, and Abram, faithful follower of God who has been promised bountiful descendants is sitting empty handed with Sarai – who is far too old to be bearing children anyway.  Abram laments with God about his hopelessness that the promised abundance will ever come. 

Later we hear from the letter to the Hebrews a recounting of Abraham’s story as an example of what faithfulness means.  We are reminded that not only do Abraham and Sarah face infertility into old age, Abraham has had to leave everything familiar to him, journey to a place he does not even know, living in tents in a foreign land.  In fact, the letter to the Hebrews describes Abraham as “one as good as dead” – as in, given Abraham’s age, and the length of infertility in his marriage, and the data-based expectation that he would have no children – Abraham is as good as dead because there will be no one to keep his name alive.  Barren was not just the state of Abraham and Sarah – barren would have been a reasonable state of their faith in God.

There are times these days that I relate much more to the barrenness of Abraham and Sarah than to the jubilant songs about praising the Lord.  As I talk to workers whose employment is insecure, being reduced, or eliminated altogether, I hear echoes of Abraham’s complaints about barrenness to God.  As I listen to people of color express their vulnerability in these volatile times, I feel a sense of barrenness in our country.  As I hear stories of anxiety from those needing medical coverage or our nonprofits whose funding cuts threaten the very lives of their clients, I hear the barrenness of those who seem like “one as good as dead.” 

So where do we find hope in the bleakness of the barrenness of life?  How do we join the songs of our children, reminding us to “just praise the Lord”?  Some of that hope comes from scripture today too.  In Luke’s gospel, right at the very beginning, and so fast we might miss his words, Jesus says, “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom… Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”  Of course, we know that truth – God promises Abraham abundance over and over again.  The community of the Hebrews celebrated the abundance of Abraham’s many sons when their own faith waivered.  And Jesus tells his followers the same, “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” 

Now, I know words are easy to say, but sometimes hard to believe – even assurances from Jesus about God’s good pleasure of abundance for us.  So, today we are going to do something totally different and try a little exercise from pastor and theologian David Lose.  When you came in today you received a blank notecard.  I want you to take that out and write on one side these words:  God wants to give you all good things.  Got it? 

Now, I want you to turn the card over and write down one fear or worry or concern you would be willing to share – not aloud, and not with your name attached.  Just one fear, worry, or concern you are carrying right now.  As you are thinking about that and writing that fear, worry, or concern down, I will explain what we are going to do with your notecard:  when we get to the offering, the ushers will pass both the offering plates and a basket for your cards.  When you leave today, we will take those baskets, mix up the cards, and invite you to take out a random one.  Your homework for this “week ahead is simply to pray for whomever wrote down the concern on the card you [receive] on the way out.  You don’t need to know who it is, just that it’s a fellow member of the body of Christ who has this concern.  As you are praying for that person, you [will] also know that someone is praying for you.”

Do you have your fear, worry, or concern written down?  Hang on to your card until the offering.  [The hope today through this small exercise is that] you [will] realize that you are not alone.  We all have the promise that God wants to give us the kingdom; we all have trouble remembering and acting on that promise; [and] we all are praying for and supporting each other.”[i]  This is our tangible work this week – to be a community in prayer for one another, working through our resistance to God’s promise to give us the kingdom, and seeing the abundance that will allow us to “just praise the Lord.”  Amen.

[i] David Lose, “Dear Working Preacher:  The Heart of the Matter,” August 5, 2013, as found at https://www.workingpreacher.org/dear-working-preacher/the-heart-of-the-matter on August 7, 2025.

Sermon – Luke 8.26-39, P7, YC, June 22, 2025

24 Thursday Jul 2025

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You all know by now that following the three-year lectionary cycle means you are going to get pieces of scripture that the preacher would normally avoid if at all possible.  As we slide back into ordinary time and back into stories of Jesus’ ministry, this story from Luke about the healing of the demoniac is one of those stories.  Part of the problem is that there is simply too much going on for us to tackle unless you want to be sitting here for another couple of hours.  There is the fact that Jesus has taken his mission into Gentile territory, into a place whose name has the Hebrew root of the word gerash, or “to expel,” effectively making this city named “expelledville” or “excorcismburg.”[i]  There is the presence of what the text calls a demoniac, a word that is essentially foreign to us, and creates a slippery slope when we try to start defining what being possessed by a demon means in modern times.[ii]  There is the demoniac’s claim that his name is Legion – which certainly means lots of demons, but also is a reference to the Roman term for a militia of about 6,000 men – a militia that has caused a great deal of oppression for the people of the Gerasenes.[iii]  There is the fact that the demons seem to know Jesus’ identity before the disciples do.  Then of course there is the fact that Jesus allows the demons to possess pigs who then die in the lake – effectively destroying the local economy of the pig farmers, killing creatures of God, and damaging the water habitat.[iv]  And then at the very end of the story, when the healed man asks to follow Jesus, Jesus turns him back home – not using his familiar, “Follow me,” command, but sending him back to witness to people who have known him in one specific, awful, complicated way.[v]

Acknowledging that ALL of that is going on, and that we really need at least an hour-long Bible study to really dissect this passage, I want us to focus on one other bit of this layered, complicated story that has been lingering with me this week.  Verses 35 and 37 of this text say, “Then people came out to see what had happened, and when they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.  And they were afraid…Then all the people of the surrounding country of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them; for they were seized with great fear.”  The people are not relieved or joyous at the man’s healing.  The people are not grateful, hospitable, or in awe.  The are afraid with a great fear.  Now scholars concede that some of that fear could be in how Jesus has destroyed their livelihood.[vi]  But scholars also suggest that the fear these folks are feeling is because their sense of identity is called into question through Jesus’ healing of the man with demons.

You see, in this town, the man with all those demons had not been cast out of society.  Instead, he was treated as the responsibility of the people.  They knew his behavior was erratic and he could be a harm to others and himself, and so they regularly chained him up, trying to mitigate the impact of his possession.  He became the identified patient in the system – the person they all put their energy into so they could create some sense of normalcy in the midst of something very abnormal.  As scholar Fred Craddock explains, “In the case of the Gadarene demoniac, the people knew the locus of evil, knew where the man lived, and devoted considerable time and expense trying to guard and to control him…this particularly successful balance of tolerance and management of the demoniac among them also allowed the people to keep attention off their own lives.  But now the power of God for good comes to their community and [the power of God for good] disturbs a way of life they had come to accept.  Even when [power] is for good, power that can neither be calculated nor managed is frightening.  What will God do next?”[vii]

Professor Rolf Jacobson relays the story of one his students as they discussed this passage.  The student had a stepdad who was an alcoholic.  There was chaos in his home that he learned to manage once the patterns became predictable.  Though the idea of a kid having to learn how to handle that reality is upsetting, what this student found more upsetting was the day his stepdad left the family.  Without warning, the chaos was suddenly gone.  He had expected to experience great joy, but instead he was left uncertain about his own identity.  If was no longer the stepchild of an alcoholic, who was he?  He didn’t like the identity, but at least he knew that identity.   He had no idea how to define himself in this new reality.[viii]

I think that is why Jesus’ first question to the demoniac is so important.  In the face of this man who is clearly possessed by demons, who is stark naked, who, being homeless, lives in the tombs of the dead, who is likely violent, dirty, and somewhat feral, Jesus says, “What is your name?”  As scholar Debie Thomas asks, “Has there ever been a more searching question?  …Who are you when no one is looking?  What name do you yearn to be called in the lonely stretches of the night?”  When Jesus asks, “What is your name?” he “begins to recall the broken man to himself.  To his humanity, to his beginnings, to his unique identity as a child beloved of God.”[ix]  Unfortunately, we are never given the man’s name.  But as he sits at Jesus’ feet, fully healed, fully clothed, in his right mind, we can only imagine he has found his name.

I think that is perhaps at the root of the fear of those in the demoniac’s village.  Jesus’ question for the demoniac is their question too.  What is your name?  Separate from what has been ailing this guy, and more importantly, separately from the likely legion of evil that was haunting them too, Jesus’ actions mean that he turns to those who haven’t been dealing with their own stuff and asks the same question, “What is your name?”

That is our question today too.  I am keenly aware that every person who walks through the doors of our church or who watches us online comes to church with their own legion of struggles and suffering and questions and doubts and anger.  For some, just making it to one of these seats today was a battle – either a literal battle to get kids, spouses, or ourselves up and out the door, or a figurative battle of not knowing what to do with all the “stuff” of life and not sure the church can handle our stuff.  For us, Jesus wants to know, “What is your name?”  Now Jesus does not ask that question because Jesus does not know.  Jesus knows every single one of us here is a beloved child of God.  But Jesus asks us that question because Jesus wants every single one of us here to be recalled – to ourselves, to our humanity, to our beginning, to our unique identity as a child beloved of God.  And then, because Jesus never leaves us without homework, Jesus asks us to go back out into the world, confident in our own names, so that we can ask others that same probing question, “What is your name?”  Amen.

[i] Amy-Jill Levine and Ben Witherington, III, The Gospel of Luke:  New Cambridge Bible Commentary  (Cambridge:  Cambridge University Press, 2018), 238

[ii] Chelsea Brooke Yarborough, “Commentary on Luke 8:26-39” June 22, 2025, as found at https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-12-3/commentary-on-luke-826-39-6 on June 19, 2025.

[iii] Luke Timothy Johnson, The Gospel of Luke:  Sacra Pagina (Collegeville, Minnesota:  The Liturgical Press, 1991), 137.

[iv] Rolf Jacobson “Sermon Brainwave:  #1029: Second Sunday after Pentecost (Ord. 12C) – June 22, 2025” June 6, 2025 as found at https://www.workingpreacher.org/podcasts/1029-second-sunday-after-pentecost-ord-12c-june-22-2025 on June 18, 2025.

[v] N.T. Wright, Luke for Everyone (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2001), 102.

[vi] Fred B. Craddock, Luke:  Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching (Louisville:  John Knox Press, 1990), 117.

[vii] Craddock, 117.

[viii] Jacobson.

[ix] Debie Thomas, Into the Mess and Other Jesus Stories:  Reflections on the Life of Christ (Eugene, Oregon:  Cascade Books, 2022), 101.

Sermon – Matthew 2.1-12, EP, YC, January 5, 2025

12 Wednesday Feb 2025

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Many Episcopalians find their way to the Episcopal Church from another way – another denomination or even no faith at all.  One common theme among those making their way to the Episcopal Church is that they are fleeing a faith that is “black and white,” or “either/or.”  They find comfort in the Episcopal Church because the Episcopal Church embraces the “gray,” or the “both/and.”  The appeal of those other traditions is obvious – there is no ambiguity or need for discernment in a “black and white” faith.  Something is either right or wrong.  That kind of clarity is refreshing in a world that is always complex, complicated, and ambiguous.  But our Episcopal tradition does not offer the comfort that comes from absolutes.  Our tradition helps us find comfort within, not despite, the complexity and ambiguity of both our sacred and secular lives.

Take our gospel lesson today.  We could easily read the Epiphany story, the story of the visitation of the Wise Men or Magi, and make easy, defendable categories:  Herod is bad, the Magi are good.  But before we dig in too deeply in that dichotomy, we are going to be good Episcopalians this morning and look into the gray.  We start with the Magi.  There is something quite magical about these wise people of thought.  Their magic is not in how they used their mental capacities to track a star to find the Messiah.  What is magical about the Magi is their response to finding Jesus.  Matthew tells in the literal translation that the Magi “rejoiced with a really, really big joy.”[i]  These Magi, who know very little about the life, death, and resurrection of the king of the Jews feel something, feel really, really big joy in the Christ Child because they, unlike most of us, have “mastered the art of hoping in God.”[ii]

Ellen Davis, Old Testament scholar, explains there is a Proverbs verse that helps us understand the Magi.  Proverbs 10.28 says, “The hope of the righteous is gladness.”  She goes on to explain, “Those who train their sights on the faithfulness of God, ‘the righteous’ – they already experience joy even before they see their hopes fulfilled, even if they never live to see (in this world, at least) the clear fulfillment of all that God has promised…That is the kind of joy that burst forth that night on the streets of Roman-occupied Bethlehem, like flowers springing suddenly out of stone pavement.  It was joy that takes root in nothing more (or less) substantial than hope itself.”[iii]

The Magi’s hope does not teach us that because God is born in Jesus all is right in the world.  I am not sure any of us would believe that anyway, given the current state of the world.  Instead, as Davis explains, “Christian hope is something very different from the natural feeling of elation that comes when things are going our way.  No, hope is not a feeling that ebbs and flows.  Rather, it is a way of living that we choose; and gradually, day by day, we learn to be graceful in it.  Hope is a way of living beyond our own limited vision and natural fears, a way of living into God’s faithfulness and there finding fullness of joy forevermore.”[iv]

Now, we could easily stop our interpretation there, and say, “Don’t be bad like Herod, be hopeful and righteous like the Magi, and all shall be well.”  But remember how I told you about the ambiguity of the Episcopal Church?  Let’s go back to Herod – the supposed “wrong” to the “right” of the Magi.  We know Herod is a horrible, power-hungry, paranoid ruler.  We are told that when these foreigners come out saying a new King of the Jews has been born, Herod is afraid.  He’s not scared of a baby – he’s scared about the threat to his power.  And so, he pulls together his own biblical scholars in secret, and then talks to the Magi in secret to get them to find this baby – not so that he can worship him, as Herod claims, but so that he can kill the threat to his power.  And when that does not work because the Magi go home another way, we find out in the verses following our text today, that Herod has all the boys in Bethlehem under the age of two murdered – just to make super sure that his power is secure.

But the problem of making Herod out to be the villain is we skip over one key point.  The text says, all of Jerusalem is frightened by this new king too.  As Davis explains, “Herod could not have secured the deaths of all those children, if he were the only one who was afraid.  Matthew is pointing to the clearly documented fact that fear is contagious, and [fear] readily crosses party lines…Fear spreads like plague through an unhealthy system, infecting not only those who are powerless to defend themselves – the Jewish families in Bethlehem – but also infecting the relatively powerful, the ruling elite in Jerusalem, who sensed (with that gut-gripping fear that comes in the middle of the night) the fragility of the base on which their power rested.”[v]

So, before we try to simplify again – Magi are good, Herod (and the people of faith in Jerusalem) are bad,” Ellen Davis encourages us to see another way.  She says, “This is not a simple picture of them and us, as we would prefer to believe.  Rather, if we read the story deeply and honestly, I think we will identify both with fearful Jerusalem and with hopeful Magi; for they both reveal aspects of our own situation that we have not seen clearly before…there is judgment for us in that picture of Herod and all Jerusalem.  Matthew holds [that judgment] before us like a mirror, challenging us to acknowledge our fear, to recognize the violence that springs from fear and will doubtless perpetuate [violence].  Yet Matthew does not consign us to despair.  For alongside that mirror is a second one – you might call [the second mirror] a glass of vision, for [the second mirror] show us something a little ahead of where we are now.  [The mirror] shows what we as a church can and will look like if we stand against the tyranny of self-perpetuating fear.  We will look like the Magi.”[vi]

I cannot think of a better time to read this “both/and” text, this “gray” text where everything is not so rigid as we might prefer.  Many in our communities are full of fear right now – fear from what the changes of a new administration will do in power, fear of violence like the wonton killing of those in New Orleans this New Year’s, and even fear of financial instability in these volatile times.  We do not honor the Magi today because their message is “Just have hope and all shall be well!”  Instead, as Davis argues, Matthew, “challenges us to be the community of resistance that the church has been…from the beginning.  [Matthew] challenges us as a church to examine and deepen our understanding of the systems that generate fear for ourselves and others.  He challenges us as a church to find ways out of those systems – not to despair, though the systems are large and powerful, but to find and commit ourselves to the small steps by which we may depart from the country governed by fear and go by another road to our own country, that place we call the kingdom of God.  Matthew’s Gospel challenges us to live boldly in the hope of the Magi, so that having rejoiced with them at the first coming of Christ, we may at his second coming know fullness of joy forevermore.”[vii]  That may not be the “right/wrong” word you were looking for this morning.  But I think the beauty of the gray of Holy Scripture today is exactly what we need.  Amen.

[i] Ellen F. Davis, “Stargazers,” January 5, 2003, Sermons from Duke Chapel:  Voices from “A Great Towering Church,” William H. Willimon, ed. (Durham, NC:  Duke University Press, 2005), 337.

[ii] Davis, 338.

[iii] Davis 338.

[iv] Davis, 339.

[v] Davis, 340. 

[vi] Davis, 341.

[vii] Davis, 341.

Sermon – John 6.1-21, P12, YB, July 28, 2024

28 Wednesday Aug 2024

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This spring and summer your Vestry has been reading Mark Elsdon’s book We Aren’t Broke:  Uncovering Hidden Resources for Mission and Ministry.  Elsdon’s primary argument is that churches and faith communities have more resources than they realize and often neglect to utilize those latent resources as alternative sources of revenue and mission.  In his own setting, a campus ministry in the Midwest that no longer had students, they converted the parking lot of their worship space to a high-rise apartment building for students, with designated intentional communities for students.  The rental income from the apartments became a revenue stream that supported both the housing ministry and the worshiping community that emerged.  Whether churches repurpose their existing buildings for coworking space, redesignate green space for affordable housing, or simply rent their land for use by a business like a childcare center, Elsdon’s argument is that churches have an abundance at their fingertips that they rarely recognize or utilize.

As our Vestry has been dreaming about abundance and creative repurposing of resources, I have been seeing a lot of parallels from Elsdon’s vision and today’s gospel lesson.  Because every gospel has a version of the Jesus’ miracle of feeding a mass of people, and because this story is beloved, we sometimes gloss over this story without really hearing the story.  As scholar Karoline Lewis argues, “…a comparison of John and the Synoptic Gospels yields important differences and underscores particular theological themes in the Gospel of John.  The setting has a specific detail unique to John:  that of much grass (6:10).  This description alludes to and foreshadows the presentation of Jesus as the Good Shepherd in chapter 10.  The pasture for the sheep signals provision and abundance of life and this abundance is clearly present in the feeding of the five thousand.”[i]  In a place where there is abundant space, where an enormously abundant amount of people gets to eat until they are full, and there is an abundance of leftovers – twelve whole baskets to be exact – Jesus gives us insight into the abundant life that is found in him. 

But abundant thinking is not how most of us are hardwired.  As one pastor describes, “Much of the time our faith mirrors that of Philip and Andrew, who could not see past the six months’ wages or the meager five loaves and two fish.  We tend to base our living on our own scarcity or even on our own fears of insufficiency.  So we hoard and save and worry and end up living life in small and safe measures.  We pull back when we should push forward.  We give in to our fear of a shortfall rather than exercising faith in God’s abundance.  But Christians are constantly on call to go places where we have never been, to do things that we have never attempted, and to be things we have never envisioned.”[ii]

For those of you who have been around the Episcopal Church very long, you may know that we have something called “the reserve sacrament” – a fancy phrase for leftover communion.  When we celebrate the Great Thanksgiving, if any wine or bread is leftover, we set the elements aside in a safe place – in the New Chapel, we use the aumbry.  We then use the reserve sacrament the next week, or when your clergy take communion out to our homebound members.  But the holy meal we consume each week rarely needs that reserve.  I remember distinctly being asked once to come and deliver communion to a dying parishioner.  I came with a few reserve wafers in my kit and my flask of reserve wine.  But when I arrived, there were probably ten to twelve people in the room.  And although I expected some of them to say, “Oh, no thanks – no communion for me,” they all wanted to consume.  And so, I found myself making tiny wafers even tinier so that everyone might share the sacred meal with their grandma one last time.

Now, I am not suggesting Jesus gave super tiny bites to everyone on that huge area of “much grass.”  In fact, John’s gospel says they don’t just get what they need, they get as much bread and fish as they want – and there are still leftovers!  What I am saying is, Jesus is inviting us today to see with eyes of abundance.  To look at a room full of grieving people and figure out a way to make much bread out of little.  To talk to a business owner who serves our community and see what creative ways we can use our blessings to bless others.  To know that there is a shortage of housing for the workforce in our community and imagine if some of our property might be the solution.  I have been to enough potluck dinners at churches in my lifetime that we almost never finish every morsel of food – in fact, usually we are all taking at least a portion or two home of what we brought.  Jesus is inviting us into being a potluck community:  to see the abundance all around us, to remember where that abundance comes from, and to live and love abundantly in ministry without fear of scarcity.  As one scholar says, Jesus “…gives bread because he is Bread.  He makes possible the gathering of the body so that we might become his body, the church.”[iii]  Our invitation is to honor his generous, abundant legacy in the way we live, move, and have our being – as His Church in the world.  Amen.

[i] Karoline Lewis, John: Fortress Biblical Preaching Commentaries (Minneapolis:  Fortress Press, 2014), 83.

[ii] Charles Hoffman, “More than Enough,” Christian Century, July 25, 2006, vol. 123, no. 15, 18.

[iii] Debie Thomas, “The Miracle of Gathering,” July 18, 2021, as found at https://www.journeywithjesus.net/essays/3081-the-miracle-of-gathering on July 26, 2024.

Sermon – John 20.19-31, E2, YB, April 7, 2024

01 Wednesday May 2024

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Photo credit: Hickory Neck Episcopal Church. Reuse with permission only.

For those of you who have worked with me for a while now, you know that I am easily excited by new ideas.  So, when Ed and Tyler suggested the Sunday after Easter for Quinton’s baptism, I excitedly said, “Yes!”  I knew we would be still experiencing the high of Holy Week and Easter from last week, I knew that baptisms are traditionally celebrated throughout Eastertide, and I knew having another reason to celebrate this Sunday would be fun.  What I failed to double-check was the lectionary.  As soon as I saw the gospel for today, I groaned.  Who wants to talk about Doubting Thomas when we are performing a sacrament of belief and belonging?!?

At first glance, John’s Gospel text today, is in fact, a terrible text for baptism.  First of all, the disciples are making a very poor showing about what the community of faith is supposed to look like.  You would think after seeing the empty tomb and hearing Mary Magdalene’s testimony, “I have seen the Lord,” the disciples would be hitting the ground running, doing the work of spreading the good news, or at least throwing a raucous party.  Instead, we find the disciples huddled in a locked room, cowering in fear.  The text says they are afraid of the Jewish leaders, perhaps afraid the same people who killed Jesus would try to kill them too.  But I think there is more to their fear.  I think they are afraid to face others, because they feel they have failed.  Perhaps they believe their pick for Messiah did not seem to be the Messiah after all.  I think they are also behind those locked doors because they are ashamed that they failed to protect Jesus, to keep him alive.[i]   Those locked doors are not just for safety – those locked doors are for hiding the shame, the disappointment, and the fear of facing others that the disciples have. 

And then we have the famous Doubting Thomas.  That we even call him “Doubting Thomas” is indication enough of the communal disapproval of his behavior.  Why couldn’t he just believe?  If not Mary Magdalene, at least his fellow disciples, who use the same words as Mary’s own testimony, “We have seen the Lord.”[ii]  Even Jesus seems to disapprove when he asks, “Have you believed because you have seen me?  Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”[iii]  We do not exactly seem to be setting the stage well for little Quinton, or anyone new to the Church today.

But the more I thought about this text, and the more I read, the more I realized this is actually the perfect text for someone new to the community of faith.  As little Quinton grows up, I do not want him to think that faith is about perfectly believing, perfectly behaving Christians, who perfectly go to Church.  And although I want Quinton to know about doubt and to have a super healthy sense of curiosity and questioning, the truth is our labeling of Thomas as “Doubting Thomas,” gets in the way of what John is trying to teach new believers.  Instead, New Testament scholar Karoline Lewis explains, “The primary definition of the term doubt, however, has to do with uncertainty.  Uncertainty, as a category of belief, does not really exist in the Fourth Gospel.  One is either certain or not certain; in the light or in the dark.  Jesus invites Thomas to move from darkness to light, from lack of relationship to intimacy.  There is no middle ground with it comes to believing in Jesus.”[iv] 

Now, stay with me on this, because I realize that dichotomy sounds even worse than doubting.  Instead, what John’s gospel is doing is not about exclusion, but about radical inclusion.  John is not conveying something about belief but about incarnation:  “to be incarnated demands relationship.  As a result, you are either in one community or another, but you cannot be not in community.  Life, especially abundant life, is dependent on the reality of multiple expressions of connectivity and belonging, whether that be on-on-one or in various sizes of communities…Even God was not alone in the beginning…”  So, when Thomas says, “My Lord and my God,” he is not talking about his own belief or even an individualized theology, but rather “the intimacy this Gospel imagines between believer and Jesus…”  As Lewis goes on to say, “To give witness to a personal relationship with Jesus is immediately to enter into a community of intimacy between Jesus, God, the Paraclete (a fancy word for Holy Spirit[v]), and the believer and between the believer and the new community, the flock, that Jesus as the Word made flesh has made possible for the world.”[vi]

One this day, when Thomas the Twin teaches us all about what belief really means – that is, incarnate, intimate relationship with God and with one another – I cannot imagine a better word for us today.  When we baptize Quinton today, we invite him into the relationships already present in this community – the real ones that sometimes cower in shame and doubt – but also the ones that lead to abundant life and blessing.  When we pour water over his head and rub oil on his forehead and commit to supporting him and one another in this journey of faith, we are claiming him not as someone who will always have things figured out – because we do not always have things figured out.  But we do commit to the intimacy of relationship:  with the three persons of the Godhead, with one another, and with the community of faith.  I cannot think of a better reminder on this second Sunday in Easter as we deepen our own intimacy with the risen Lord than to baptize and reaffirm our baptisms – as we acclaim today, “I will! (with God’s help).”  Amen.

[i] M. Craig Barnes, “Crying Shame,” Christian Century, vol. 121, no. 7, April 6, 2004, 19. 

[ii] Karoline M. Lewis, John:  Fortress Biblical Preaching Commentaries (Minneapolis:  Fortress Press, 2014), 248.

[iii] John 20.29.

[iv] Lewis, 249.

[v] My words, not Lewis’ words.

[vi] Lewis, 250.

Sermon – Matthew 2.1-12, EPD, YB, January 7, 2024

14 Wednesday Feb 2024

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When you are preparing for ordination, you get asked lots of “big picture” questions:  Who is Jesus to you?  Why do you think you need to be a priest to live out your call?  Where do you see God in your daily life?  Fortunately, or not, those are not really questions we ask each other in our everyday lives.  We sort of settle into a comfort zone with our faith, hoping that just being in church, or maybe being in a study group, or doing some sort of devotional practice will help us grow in faith.  We likely feel connected to God, but we may not regularly engage in the rigorous questioning of our faith.

Our gospel lesson today opens up for us how easily we can miss the activity of God if we aren’t paying attention.  Today we celebrate the feast of the Epiphany – the revelation of Jesus’ identity as the Messiah through the journey of the Magi.  But before we get to those cool, and slightly odd gifts, we learn a lot about the context of Jesus’ arrival.  First, we are told about King Herod – a man desperate to hold on to power by whatever means possible.  Who, when hearing a child has been born, a tiny little baby – who might, one day – threaten his power, is terrified.  And so, Herod goes to the scholars to confirm where this threat is.  Then, he proceeds to meet with the Magi in secret, pretending that he too wants to honor this new leader (as if that would ever be something a paranoid, power-hungry leader would do), and schemes to make sure he can find this threat through the Magi.  And we learn, well after this passage, that his terror is so strong that he kills a whole generation of male children to ensure this supposed future king cannot threaten his power.  Herod is so obsessed with power, he is blind to the extraordinary thing happening in front of him.[i]

Then we are told about the people of faith.  We are told that the Magi’s news terrifies all of Jerusalem too.  For a people of faith who were eagerly awaiting a Messiah, we now see how the system of oppression and fear that Herod has created has paralyzed them.  Though a Messiah would free them, they only know that in their day-to-day life, any threat to Herod means havoc and suffering in their lives.  Even the Biblical Scholars of Herod’s day miss the movement of God.  They very clearly state that the Messiah is to be born in Bethlehem.  One would think that even if strangers tell you the Messiah has come, your scholarly training might make you curious enough to follow the Magi and see if a revolution is coming.  But even their academic training does not embolden them for action.[ii]

Instead, strangers to faith – the “unchurched” as we might call them today – are the ones able to point to God.  These are people who study.  These are people who do not just bury themselves in books, but also keenly pay attention to the world around them.  These are people courageous enough to confirm their conclusions – even if confirmation means traveling quite far.  These are people willing to ask for directions, open to help to understand their suspicions.  These are people capable of great joy, gratitude, and reverence for something that is not even a part of their sense of identity.  And they are vigilant and attentive, willing to keep responding upon further dreams and insight, going another way to their home.[iii]

The good news for us today is that even when we are overwhelmed by fear, even when we are stuck in our faith life, even when we have the truth in our hands but are missing the living Lord, God will find ways to break through the mess of life and break into our lives.  As one scholars says, “Just as the powers that be try and fail to prevent the resurrection, so they try and fail to prevent the birth of God’s child.  God’s purposes cannot be thwarted; God’s purposes will prevail.”[iv]  If, then, God appears anyway, our invitation is to open our hearts, minds, and lives to receptivity to that presence.  Maybe that happens in your daily spiritual practices of prayer, journaling, or study.  Maybe that happens by surrounding yourself with people – churchy types or those foreign to the faith – who are already attuned to God and can help you see the movement of the Spirit in your own life.  Or maybe that happens simply by committing not just to being in church regularly, but being fully present when you are here, cultivating the practice of openness to Jesus.  The promise of accepting that invitation is a journey of adventure, not unlike the Magi – full of learning, joy, and wonder.  Come join the great pilgrimage!

[i] William R. Herzog, II, “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, Vol. 1 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 215.

[ii] James C. Howell, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, Vol. 1 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 214.

[iii] William V. Arnold, “Pastoral Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, Vol. 1 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 212, 214.

[iv] Herzog, 217.

Sermon – Matthew 25.14-30, P28, YA, November 19, 2023

29 Wednesday Nov 2023

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One of the beloved pastors in my life I met in college.  She led me on my first international mission trip, opening my eyes to the realities of ethical living and our responsibilities to what scripture would define as the “least of these.”  She introduced me to the Episcopal Church in a subtle way that left me intrigued and wanting to know more.  She taught me about radical hospitality, as her family of five were constantly welcoming wandering students into their home.  And she introduced me to the Cathedral where I would ultimately experience a call to ordained ministry.  To say she played a formative role in my faith journey is an understatement.

What I knew as a loving pastor, a model Christian, and an inspiring mentor, though, had another side.  After college, I decided to volunteer for a year:  a noble endeavor, to be sure, but also an endeavor that left me with very little to spend on housing.  This pastor offered to let me live in the guest quarters of the Episcopal Center on campus in exchange for being the building’s caretaker:  cleaning it weekly, making sure the building was shut down and locked after group use, being on hand with any repairmen or women who needed access to the building.  It was a dream job, but it came with a cost.  No longer was my pastor my pastor – she was my boss.  And my pastor as a boss had a very different way of being than my pastor as a pastor.  She was firm, curt, and had little tolerance for anything other than excellence.  Gone were the niceties and loving nature, and in their place was an all-business task master.  It took me several weeks to figure out how to switch hats with her:  when to know we could be loving and playful and when to know we were being focused and task-oriented. 

The contrast between my mentor and pastor reminds me of the contrast we have seen in Jesus in these last several weeks of Matthew’s gospel.  First, we got the wedding host who seemed to be generously welcoming all to the party, only to cast someone out who wore the wrong clothing.  Then we got the feuding bridesmaids who refuse to care for one another, and the bridegroom who has no patience for a lack of preparedness.  And then we get today’s parable with the affirming, encouraging landowner and his harsh treatment of the tentative servant with his one talent.  If we simply had just today’s instance of God’s harshness or unjust judgment, we could say the parable is an anomaly, a strange outlier.  But given the repeated telling of scary-ending stories, we are cued into the idea that something else is going on in Matthew’s gospel.  Indeed, all these unsettling parables are what we call eschatological parables – stories about the end times.[i]  At this point in Matthew’s gospel, Jesus is approaching the end of his life.  Instead of continuing to heal, preach, and lovingly teach his disciples, he starts getting real.   I am reminded of one of the first reality television shows that ever aired, MTV’s The Real World.  MTV would pair seven very different individuals and make them live together for a few months.  The tagline of the show was, “This is what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.” 

Understanding that Jesus is facing his immanent death is critical to understanding what is going on with Jesus in these parables.  Any of us who has journeyed with someone who is dying knows that at some point, they stop being polite and start getting real.  This is their last chance to tell others the essentials:  the life lessons learned, the love they want to share, and the stern encouragement they want to give.  Although this landowner seems harsh or even irrationally mean, what he is doing is communicating ultimate significance. 

Let’s go back to that third servant in today’s parable.  We know what the third servant does is not all that bad.  He does not squander the entrusted wealth, or act rashly.  He is conservatively prudent and, perhaps based on his skill level, wise to restrain himself.  But ultimately, the landowner is not upset about what the servant does.  The landowner is upset about the servant’s motivation:  fear.[ii] 

Now fear can be a very healthy thing, indeed.  Healthy doses of fear can secure survival and safety.  But fear can also be dangerous.  Fear can distort every good thing about our nature.  Fear can cut off creativity.  When we are overcome with fear, we cannot be imaginative and playful, coming to new solutions and ways of being.  Fear can mess with our sense of trust.  When we are overcome with fear, we forget the goodness of others, our previous examples of how things have gone well, or even the bold support of our God.  Fear can diminish our confidence.  When we are overcome with fear, all the good, powerful, and holy parts of us get riddled with self-doubt and inaction.  And finally, fear hinders with our willingness to take risks.  When we are overcome with fear, we cannot do the things that will lead to great payoff. 

Fear in the abstract is a normal reaction in life.  But we have to remember what Jesus is talking about in this parable to understand why the landowner is so harsh about fear.  You see, talents are not just metaphors for the thing things we are good at or even for the money we have in life.  Talents are metaphors for the vocations we each have.[iii]  Each person in this room has a calling.  Some of us are called to particular jobs or courses of study.  Some of us are called to particular roles within families or groups.  Some of us are called to use our gifts in particular ways.  We all have a call, a vocation in life.  And our vocation is affirmed by the skills or materials we are given to live out that call.  The problem with the third servant is that he is given what he needs in abundance – that single talent represents about twenty years of pay![iv]  The landowner affirms him, trusts him, and gives him space and time to live out his vocation.  But the third servant allows himself to be so overcome with fear that he does not live out his vocation.  He shuts down creativity, trust, confidence, and risk-taking all because he is afraid.  And that is the ultimate sin for God. 

What this parable invites us to do today is not to see this landowner – this stand-in for God – as a mean, cruel, reactive God that punishes.  Quite the opposite, the parable today invites us to remember that our God is trusting, discerning about our gifts, confident in our abilities, and joyful in our obedience.  God gives each person in this room a vocation, a purpose, in this world, gives us the gifts and encouragement we need to fulfill that vocation, and, ultimately, expects us to go out into the world and boldly take the risk of doing what God has already enabled us to do.  No one likes being thrust out of the nest, having to use our wings to sustain us.  But our parable reminds us we can do what we need to do.  We have beautiful wings and our flying will help others, will bring blessing to the world, and will bring us great joy.  Getting scared when God stops being polite and starts getting real is normal.  But letting fear overpower our beauty is not what God desires for us – because God knows you can do it.  God knows your willingness to live out your vocation means great things for the world.  You can do it – and you will, because the world needs you.  Amen.

[i] Mark Douglas, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. A, Vol. 4 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2011), 308

[ii] Douglas, 312.

[iii] Idea presented by Matthew Skinner in the podcast, “SB570 – Twenty-fourth Sunday after Pentecost (Ord. 33)” November 11, 2017, as found at http://www.workingpreacher.org/brainwave.aspx?podcast_id=948 on November 17, 2017.

[iv] Debie Thomas, “The Good Kind of Worthless,” November 8, 2020, as found at https://www.journeywithjesus.net/essays/2814-the-good-kind-of-worthless on November 17, 2023.

Sermon – Exodus 1.8-2.10, P16, YA, August 27, 2023

30 Wednesday Aug 2023

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This likely comes as no surprise to you, but I come from a long line of strong women.  My paternal grandmother, the matriarch of the family, was so intimidating that most of us grandchildren were a little bit afraid of her.  But she was likely the only minister’s wife of her time who refused to play the stereotypical minister’s wife role, teaching one parish after another how to respect her personhood.  My maternal grandmother was widowed when she had five young children.  I knew her as a gentle, kind soul, but I know she must have been tough as nails to survive that time as a struggling single mother in the rural south.  My mother, who had to restart her own business every time my father was assigned to a new church, managed to help her children and herself thrive in every new place she was planted.  I, in my wisdom, married a man who also came from a long line of strong women – independent, fierce, wise women who navigated all sorts of challenges.  I suppose I should be grateful then for the fierce, smart, sometimes annoyingly stubborn young women we are raising in our own home.  I keep reminding myself that they come by their strength honestly.

But the story from Exodus today reminds us that we all come from a long line of strong women.  We all know the story of one of our most prominent forefathers, Moses.  Saved from a ride in a river basket, called by a burning bush, reigning down plagues until God’s people are freed from slavery, walking God’s people through the Red Sea, guiding the Israelite’s to the Promised Land, delivering our foundational Ten Commandments, and even appearing to Jesus on the Mountain of the Transfiguration.  But Moses would not be any of those things but for the strong five women we hear about today.

Before we hear Moses’ story, today we hear the story of his foremothers.  The reading from Exodus starts ominously, “Now a new king arose over Egypt, who did not know Joseph.”  In other words, the new king, the new pharaoh, does not know the story of how Joseph saved Egypt from famine, and began a symbiotic, peaceful relationship with the Israelites.  Now, the new pharaoh only sees the sheer number of foreigners on his land and he is afraid.  He is afraid they will revolt; he is afraid of their strength in numbers; and in his fear he introduces chaos:  enslavement, oppression, and murderous, violent death.[i] 

In the midst of the chaos and violence Pharaoh causes for the Israelites, two midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, change the course of an administration.  Pharoah calls these two women – women who would normally never even meet a man of such power and influence – to conspire with him for evil.  Doing anything other than his wishes would surely result in not only their own deaths, but also maybe the suffering of their families and loved ones.  But Shiphrah and Puah – who if you notice the text lists by name, while leaving the pharaoh unnamed (a biblical signal of importance)[ii] – Shiphrah and Puah decide they will defy the pharaoh, refusing to murder the male children of the Hebrews.  But not only that, when the pharaoh calls them back into his presence, the women do not cave under pressure, or even seem to be afraid of Pharaoh. Instead, they defy Pharaoh again, making up some crafty story about Hebrew women’s vigorous birthing practices, manipulating pharaoh’s stereotypes and fears of the Hebrews to save children’s lives.

But they are not the only women standing up to the power of Pharaoh.  Moses’ mother knows all Egyptians have been told to cast male Hebrew babies into the Nile.  So, she builds a water-tight basket to shield her son, refusing to cast him off without protection.  Meanwhile, Moses’ sister Miriam refuses to stand by idly either.  She follows her brother’s path, ready to defy Pharaoh too.  Even the pharaoh’s own daughter, who acknowledges Moses must be a Hebrew child condemned to death, refuses to participate in her father’s violence and fear.[iii]  When lowly, seemingly powerless Miriam boldly approaches the royal suggesting a Hebrew woman nurse the child, Miriam secures Moses’ well-being and buys their mother 2-3 more years of relationship before Moses will be adopted into safety.[iv]  Miriam, Moses’ mother, and the pharaoh’s daughter all defy Pharaoh in unique ways.  Without any one of these women’s actions, Moses as we know him today would not exist.[v]  In fact, without any of these women’s defiance, none of us as the people of God would exist today. 

I do not know what kind of chaos to which your life is subject.  I do not know in what ways you may be feeling powerless or incapable of making a difference.  I do not know what fears – sometimes legitimate, life-threatening fears – you are facing today.  But what I can tell you is you are not powerless or incapable of making a difference.  Your fears are not experienced without the presence of God.  And your life has the capacity to be history altering – even if you feel like what you are doing is only one tiny act of change or defiance of the power of evil in the world.  Pharaoh underestimates “…the power of God to work deliverance through the vulnerable – and seemingly powerless – on behalf of the vulnerable.”[vi]  But you, you come from a long line of powerful women.  God is with you as you harness their power for good.  Amen.

[i] Terence E. Fretheim, Exodus:  Interpretation:  A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching (Louisville:  John Knox Press, 1991), 28

[ii] Alice Ogden Bellis, Helpmates, Harlots, and Heroes:  Women’s Stories in the Hebrew Bible (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 1994), 100.

[iii] Jacqueline E. Lapsley, Whispering the Word:  Hearing Women’s Stories in the Old Testament (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2005), 77.

[iv] Lapsley, 78.

[v] Bellis, 101.

[vi] Lapsley, 74.

On Not Really Being Alone…

16 Wednesday Aug 2023

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Beehive Trail Iron Rungs, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elaine Ho; reuse with permission)

Last week, I finished up my sabbatical on a trip with college friends to Acadia National Park.  Having been friends for over 26 years, and having traveled together, domestically and abroad, we know each other well – each other’s habits, weaknesses, and strengths.  We know who is most likely to get up early for exercise, who you don’t talk to before they’ve had coffee, and who is a total chicken when it comes to anything adventure related.  That last one would be me.  But since we all know how tentative I am, we all know they will push me to try new adventures anyway, and I will say yes – even if I grumble, curse, and sometimes pray my way through the adventures.

This year’s adventure was hiking the Beehive Loop Trail – a trail with a steep mountain cliff, boulders, exposed ledges, and iron rungs.  We’ve done hikes before, and I’m relatively fit, but this was definitely a difficulty I have never tried and would certainly not have tried of my own volition.  But this is what we do, and so off I went.  I knew the trail was no joke when the first part of the “trail” was actually just a path of small boulders to navigate over.  As we made our way up, I could see the views were going to be amazing.  But I stopped when I got to the first real set of iron rungs.  After a few deep breaths, some encouraging words whispered in my ear, I grabbed the first rung.  As I scanned for where to place my feet, I could see worn footholds from thousands of hikers before me.  As we walked along ledges, the skinny tree trunks I used as handholds were smooth from those same thousands of hikers who had grabbed them before me.  When the hikers in front of us were moving slowly and we just had to stand on narrow ledges waiting for our turn, I hugged the rock cliff beside us. 

Nature’s handrails, Beehive Trail, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elizabeth Shows Caffey; reuse with permission)

During that hike, I slowly realized the reason I say yes to these challenging women is not because I’m avoiding conflict or caving to peer pressure.  I say yes because I am never alone in my yes.  Whether it is my amazing friend who refuses to bound ahead because she knows that if I slip or start to panic, she will catch me and encourage me ever so gently.  Whether it is the guidance of travelers before me who have left their wisdom behind.  Whether it is in God’s creation herself who stands strong when we need her.  So, as I mutter the reminder, “I love these women…” like it’s both a curse and a blessing, I am reminding myself I am not alone.  When I sigh in profound gratitude, “Thank you, tree,” I am reminding myself that God has not left me comfortless.  When I watch out-of-shape elders, and seemingly too young youngsters, being cheered on and reaching the top, I am reminded that none of us is alone. 

I wonder what challenges you are facing today that feel like a challenge you are facing alone.  I could have faced that mountain ledge or those crazy iron rungs and thought, “I am utterly alone in this.  Only I can take each step, ascend each level.  This is my battle to face.”  But just as I was never alone – and not just with my three other friends, but with countless generations of hikers, and centuries old formations of God’s creation, we are not alone in the challenges we face either.  How many times have we cried out to God for help, only to find a friend or stranger unexpectedly accompanying us?  Sometimes that worn foothold is hard to notice in the face of panic.  Sometimes the smoothness of that tree trunk is barely noticeable because we are gripping so hard or trying to move forward so quickly.  But God is with us, giving us companions for the journey.  We are not alone.