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On Not Really Being Alone…

16 Wednesday Aug 2023

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Beehive Trail Iron Rungs, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elaine Ho; reuse with permission)

Last week, I finished up my sabbatical on a trip with college friends to Acadia National Park.  Having been friends for over 26 years, and having traveled together, domestically and abroad, we know each other well – each other’s habits, weaknesses, and strengths.  We know who is most likely to get up early for exercise, who you don’t talk to before they’ve had coffee, and who is a total chicken when it comes to anything adventure related.  That last one would be me.  But since we all know how tentative I am, we all know they will push me to try new adventures anyway, and I will say yes – even if I grumble, curse, and sometimes pray my way through the adventures.

This year’s adventure was hiking the Beehive Loop Trail – a trail with a steep mountain cliff, boulders, exposed ledges, and iron rungs.  We’ve done hikes before, and I’m relatively fit, but this was definitely a difficulty I have never tried and would certainly not have tried of my own volition.  But this is what we do, and so off I went.  I knew the trail was no joke when the first part of the “trail” was actually just a path of small boulders to navigate over.  As we made our way up, I could see the views were going to be amazing.  But I stopped when I got to the first real set of iron rungs.  After a few deep breaths, some encouraging words whispered in my ear, I grabbed the first rung.  As I scanned for where to place my feet, I could see worn footholds from thousands of hikers before me.  As we walked along ledges, the skinny tree trunks I used as handholds were smooth from those same thousands of hikers who had grabbed them before me.  When the hikers in front of us were moving slowly and we just had to stand on narrow ledges waiting for our turn, I hugged the rock cliff beside us. 

Nature’s handrails, Beehive Trail, Acadia National Park (Photo credit: Elizabeth Shows Caffey; reuse with permission)

During that hike, I slowly realized the reason I say yes to these challenging women is not because I’m avoiding conflict or caving to peer pressure.  I say yes because I am never alone in my yes.  Whether it is my amazing friend who refuses to bound ahead because she knows that if I slip or start to panic, she will catch me and encourage me ever so gently.  Whether it is the guidance of travelers before me who have left their wisdom behind.  Whether it is in God’s creation herself who stands strong when we need her.  So, as I mutter the reminder, “I love these women…” like it’s both a curse and a blessing, I am reminding myself I am not alone.  When I sigh in profound gratitude, “Thank you, tree,” I am reminding myself that God has not left me comfortless.  When I watch out-of-shape elders, and seemingly too young youngsters, being cheered on and reaching the top, I am reminded that none of us is alone. 

I wonder what challenges you are facing today that feel like a challenge you are facing alone.  I could have faced that mountain ledge or those crazy iron rungs and thought, “I am utterly alone in this.  Only I can take each step, ascend each level.  This is my battle to face.”  But just as I was never alone – and not just with my three other friends, but with countless generations of hikers, and centuries old formations of God’s creation, we are not alone in the challenges we face either.  How many times have we cried out to God for help, only to find a friend or stranger unexpectedly accompanying us?  Sometimes that worn foothold is hard to notice in the face of panic.  Sometimes the smoothness of that tree trunk is barely noticeable because we are gripping so hard or trying to move forward so quickly.  But God is with us, giving us companions for the journey.  We are not alone.

On Ghosts, Goblins, and Community…

03 Thursday Nov 2022

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Photo Credit: https://windows10spotlight.com/images/cd4207053ac7aaa6212c99ef8a230cfb

Sometimes, when parenting children, you tend to operate in a haze.  In trying to harmonize work, family life, and everything else, you can become partially present in the parenting moment.  Halloween can be one of those instances.  In the rush of everyday responsibilities, you need to decorate the house, sweep off the driveway, purchase and prep candy for distribution, ensure your kids have all the costume parts they need (sometimes mending, gluing, pinning them at the last minute, or figuring out how to do their makeup), oh, and find that trick-or-treat bag they want from last year.  There is coordinating with other parents so your kid can walk with their friends, the needed photos, and the constant reminders to say “trick or treat!” and “thank you!” 

Fortunately, the Holy Spirit is always at work, giving us moments of the sacred in even the most hectic secular experiences.  This Monday, I was in that Halloween haze myself, trying to send off my older child, praying she made good choices, and accompanying my younger child, soaking up the chance to enjoy the night with her.  As we made our way from house to house, the sacred was slowly revealed.  I noticed as parents walked with their children, they connected more meaningfully than in our quick hellos at the bus stop and coordinating texts for playdates.  As homeowners emerged from their homes, I watched older adults light up with the chance to interact with children, I saw parents of older children wistfully watch the littles as their older children were too far past this precious time, and I noticed singletons relishing a chance for social interaction.  I was in the midst of community at its finest:  strangers extending hospitality, cross-generation lovingkindness, and deeply felt smiles. 

I know Halloween has pagan roots, and the Church, as it always does, worked to Christianize the day of All Hollows Eve.  We even have some neighbors who do not participate in the ritual of trick-or-treating out of Christian protest.  But when you strip away all the scary characters, fear-inducing movies, and sacrilegious legends, what remains is one of the best of examples of genuine Christian community.  Somehow, political differences fade, generational biases are set aside, and interpersonal anxieties ease, and what remains is an activity that allows for humble, gracious, affirming hospitality and care.

I wonder how we might foster those same sorts of conditions in our Church communities.  My church’s mission is focused on intergenerational ministry.  Sundays often demonstrate those values as intergenerational ministry blooms.  But the experience of trick-or-treating this year has me wondering what more we can do to create space where strangers can enjoy loving, affirming moments of intimacy and care with neighbors.  My prayer is the Holy Spirit works through our busy hazes to reveals those opportunities for all of us.

On Suffering, Strangers, Jesus, and Viruses…

19 Thursday Mar 2020

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This week, I was scheduled to gather with my ecumenical brothers and sisters and preach about Simon of Cyrene.  I had initially been very excited about the assignment.  During Lent, we were all assigned people to preach about who are associated with the Stations of the Cross, and Simon has always fascinated me.  But it was not until I started preparing to preach that I realized why I had found his story so intriguing.  After having looked and looked, each of the synoptic gospels gives Simon of Cyrene one verse of text.  One verse.  That is all.  We have this dramatic event that occurs as Jesus struggles to carry his cross, so dramatic that a whole station of the cross is dedicated to him.  And yet, everything we know about him is encapsulated in one verse.

Now, we do know some details.  He is from Cyrene, which means he was likely in Jerusalem on a trip there for religious devotion.  We know he is a father.  And we know he did not volunteer or chose to help Jesus.  He was made to help Jesus.  That is all we know.  Anything else we want to know – whether he connected with Jesus powerfully in that moment; whether he helped Jesus begrudgingly, out of fear, or with compassion; whether his life was changed by the moment or he never thought of the moment again.  We simply do not know.

Instead, what we really learn about in this moment is not about the psyche or spiritual development of Simon.  Instead, what we really learn about is Jesus.  This past Sunday, I talked in my homily about how what is most powerful about the story of Jesus and the woman at the well is not the scandalous, but the ordinariness of Jesus – the fleshiness of the incarnation.  That is what I think Simon does for us in this one verse.  Simon reminds us of how very human Jesus was – so physically exhausted, he needed help.  So very abandoned, his own loved ones or disciples did not step forward to help him.  So very humiliated, a stranger was forced to see his humiliation up close.

As we are in the midst of a pandemic that affects the body, I am feeling very grateful this week of the reminders of Jesus’ fleshiness on this earth.  I am reminded that no matter how alone we feel, no matter how exhausted we are, no matter how much we hate to ask for help (especially from a stranger), our neediness right now is akin to the experiences Jesus had in his life.  In essence, Christ is in our suffering because he suffered too.  Of course, that does not solve this virus or change our reality much.  But I am deeply comforted knowing that Jesus is standing with us as we work our way through this virus.  I hope you can feel that same hope too.

GC79: Everyday Evangelism…

12 Thursday Jul 2018

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36759698_10157020460107565_1355952824961204224_o

Photo credit:  Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse only with permission)

On my first day of General Convention, I had to start as a “visitor” until I could get my alternate name badge.  That meant I had some spare time to explore the exhibits in the Exhibit Hall.  I decided to grab lunch there, and after I made my purchase, I realized I didn’t know anyone in the eating area, and many of the tables were full of deputations or groups of friends.  There was a table with just one petite older woman of color.  I figured General Convention was partly about meeting the wider church, so I asked to join her.

We began the normal chitchat of the day – the weather, the food, etc.  I asked her where she was from and she said, “Arizona now, but I’m from Kenya.”  Well, you can imagine my excitement – one of my best friends from seminary is a female priest from Kenya.  We launched into a conversation about what brought her to the States, and before I knew it, we were deep in a conversation about the husband who left her for another woman, the kids he left her to manage, the impact of the divorce on her family, the hurtful things a priest said to her about the divorce, the way she has experienced racism – not just as a person of color, but as a woman from Africa.

After we grieved the hard stuff, and my apology about the sins of the church, she began to tell me about the good stuff:  the grandchildren she moved to Arizona to enjoy; the women she works with back in various countries in Africa to produce clothing that will feed their families; the school she is trying to help some of the women establish in their hometown.  She was at Convention to display and sell their wares.  She jokingly told me, “Yeah, I’m a little concerned.  The women gave me several items that are going to be way too small for anyone here to wear.”  I knew God had brought us together for a reason!  “Mary,” I exclaimed, “I guess that means I’m going to have to buy one of those smalls!”

Later that week, I dropped by new friend’s booth.  We embraced like old friends.  I could see the wrinkles of hurt and toil on her face more distinctly this time, but I could also see the twinkle of new relationship in her eyes.  I came away with a cute dress, but more importantly, I came away with a sense of kinship, of having connected with another human about the journey of life, and where God can work through us to do good.  When we talk about evangelism in the church, I always try to remind Hickory Neck that evangelism is about hearing people’s stories and naming God in them.  It is not easy work.  It will involve sitting down at tables with strangers and maybe even starting by talking about the weather.  But if you hang in there, you might just hear the story of how God is working through us all – and even find a new sister or brother in Christ along the way.

Sermon – Matthew 25.31-46, P29, YA, November 26, 2017

29 Wednesday Nov 2017

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This past weekend we celebrated one of the most significant American holidays.  Thanksgiving has evolved over time, but generally involves people gathering with family, friends, or neighbors over a meal to give thanks for the blessings of life.  The concept sounds rather innocuous, but the meal can be fraught with challenges.  A few days before Thanksgiving this year, I caught the results of a poll.  The poll said almost 70% of people were hoping to avoid talking about politics with their family this Thanksgiving holiday.  According to the survey, the percentage of people wanting to avoid talking about politics is one of the highest in years.  Even though the numbers are unprecedented, the results are probably not a surprise to anyone here.  Politics is one of those topics polite conversations are supposed to avoid anyway.  But given the especially high tensions of our political climate lately, I can totally understand why almost three-fourths of us would want to avoid talking about our country’s deep divisions and political differences.  No need to ruin a day of attempted unity with a conversation about the very thing that divides us most deeply.

So, on the Sunday following the day when everyone wants to avoid talking politics, what are we going to do?  Talk politics.  Now before you get too anxious, do not worry.  We are not invited to talk American politics.  Today, our readings invite us to talk about biblical politics.  Today, we celebrate Christ the King Sunday – the last Sunday in the liturgical year before we start Advent next week.  The feast of Christ the King is not actually that old of a feast.  Pope Pius XI established the feast day in 1925 in response to growing secularism and a deemphasis on the primacy of Christ.  At the time, Europe was seeing a rise in non-Christian dictators, many of whom were seeking to influence authority over the Church.  Pope Pius wanted to remind the Church who was the head of the church, and the primacy of Christ for the Church’s identity.  Establishing Christ the King Sunday was not only a bold move by Pope Pius, the feast day was also needed if the Church were going to remain loyal to its identity.

The historical setting of the creation of the holiday is not all that unique from the biblical struggle with kingship.  If you remember, God is not at all on board when the people ask for a king.  You see, the people of God have already been on a long journey.  Abraham had settled them in a faraway land, which God had promised would be their land.  But famine struck, and the people were forced to flee to Egypt for sustenance, submitting themselves to a pharaoh – a new king of sorts.  For a while, that arrangement was not so bad.  But a new pharaoh meant a harsh life of enslavement.  So, God once again led the people out of the rule of a king, into the wilderness and eventually the promised land.  And what do the people ask for upon their arrival?  A king!  You see, they have been watching the other nations who have kings, and they want their own.  God wants them to see how God is their king.  But eventually God submits, giving them their hearts’ desire.  As predicted, an earthly king does not go well.  Sure, there are moments of enjoyment and blessing.  There are even some kings who do well – king David and Solomon.  But even the good kings come with human flaws.  As time goes on, the bad kings outnumber the good ones, and eventually the kingdom of God is ripped apart, and the peoples are scattered.

That is where we pick up things today in Ezekiel.  Recognizing the earthly kings have not worked so well, God promises to take the throne back, to become the people’s king once again.  God becoming king means the people will be gathered once again in their promised land.  They will have their wounds bound, their stomachs filled, and their thirst quenched.  They will return to an abundant land, with the rule of a comforting shepherd.  The promise to the wearied people of God is assuring and soothing; a balm to a scattered, disheartened people.  Their failures are ever before them:  their insistence on an earthly king have gotten them where they are today.  But admitting failure hardly seems onerous with the promise of redemption by God.

By the time we get to our gospel reading today, the people are yet again under an oppressive rule.  Rome has put her heavy hand on the people of God, and their hoped-for Messiah has not arrived.  The expectation of the Messiah was for a mighty, God-ordained leader who would vindicate the people, and establish a time of prosperity, power, and peace.  There are rumors that Jesus might be that Messiah, but much of what he has to say does not jive with what they are expecting.  Take today’s lesson, for example.  Jesus tells them the reign of God will entail feeding the poor, giving drink to the thirsty, welcoming the stranger, clothing the naked, tending the sick, and visiting the imprisoned.  Those are all certainly good things to do, but they are not exactly what the people are thinking of when they imagine a Messiah.  Though those tasks are noble, they do not indicate a people who have triumphed over oppressive rule.

I suspect we know a little about that sense of disappointment and disorientation.  Now I know I said I was not going to talk about politics, but stay with me for a bit.  You see, no matter who our leader is, we will never be truly happy with an elected, human leader.  Human leaders, like those leaders in the times of Ezekiel are flawed.  Think of your favorite president in American history – the president that really represented the goodness of American ideals.  Think of all the great things he did, the advancements he made, the ways in which he made us a better country.  Now, in balance with all that goodness, think of all the flaws he had.  Every president had them.  For every advancement he made, there was an advancement he neglected.  For every inspiring quote he had, there were things he said that would make us shudder.  For every injustice he corrected, there were injustices he ignored.

That is the funny thing about being both an American and a Christian.  Though we have probably structured the government with the most potential for justice and balanced leadership, we still fall short of the goal – because we are human.  And because nothing we make or conceive or structure will be perfect, we lean into our Christian identity for guidance, comfort, and strength.  You see, the only king who will ever bring about a perfect kingdom is Christ.  And yet, even “perfection” is redefined by Christ.  The kingdom of God is not reproduced through democracy, socialism, monarchy, oligarchy, or totalitarianism.  The perfect system in Christ involves each us feeding the poor, giving water to those who thirst, welcoming the stranger, clothing the naked, tending the sick, and visiting the imprisoned.

I can imagine what you are thinking, because I am thinking the same thing.  Those jobs all sound nice, but how do we ensure justice, safety, and structure?  How do we govern?  The good news is, just as we talked about last week, we all have a vocation.  If feeding, sating, welcoming, clothing, tending, and visiting are the parameters of perfection, we are each to use our gifts to achieve that perfection.  So maybe your vocation is to physically feed the poor and sate the thirsty.  Maybe your vocation is to advocate for those in prison.  Maybe your vocation is to govern with the intention of creating laws that will tend the sick and clothe the naked.  How we approach perfection will vary widely, but that we strive toward perfection is what Christ asks today.  Christ is not actually all that worried about who our king is or what kind of government we choose.  Christ is concerned that our lives reflect his true kingship over us.  Christ wants us to live lives that, upon observation by others, make obvious who is our king.

Our invitation this week is to take stock of our daily living, making sure we have aligned our lives with the kingdom of God.  If you have gotten off track, there is time and support for correcting course.[i]  If you have mastered feeding the hungry, but are not so great at welcoming the stranger, this community is here to help you expand your kingdom work.  And if you are not sure you can get on board with this kingdom work at all, you may need to do what we all avoided this Thanksgiving – get to a table and start talking politics.  Jesus promises to be with us, joining us in the conversation, blessing our ponderings.  With Christ the King on our side, the work does not feel like work, the conversation does not feel like a curse, and the results produce much more for which to be thankful.  Amen.

[i] Stanley Hauerwas, Matthew:  Brazos Theological Commentary on the Bible (Grand Rapids:  Brazos Press, 2006), 212.

On Collars, Conversations, and Confessions…

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

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Last week, I stopped by a local doughnut shop to pick up treats for some of our church volunteers.  The staff needed to make a fresh pot of coffee, so I had to wait by the counter.  After a couple of minutes, the woman who had been helping me approached me and said, “Okay, settle a bet for us.  Are you a nun or a pastor?”

anglican-collar

Photo credit:  https://blackandwhiteandlivingincolor.com/2014/01/16/coffeehouse-musings-why-i-wear-my-anglican-collar-sometimes/

I get questions about my collar all the time.  Most people are not as courageous and will simply stare – usually with a furrowed brow of confusion.  Others will only confess that they always wondered what that “thing” was I wore when we finally get around to talking about our jobs.  Sometimes people will ask if the Roman Catholic Church started ordaining women (trust me – you would know if they had!).  Of course, my favorite experiences have been when I have been both in a collar and pregnant.  That really confuses people!

Once I finally confessed I was a “pastor” to the doughnut shop, one of the women working the drive-through said, “Oh good!  Can you pray for us?”  We had a great conversation after that, and I promised to keep them in my prayers for the rest of the day as I departed.  But as I left, I realized two things.  First, being a priest in my community is a tremendous blessing.  It allows me to have deep, intimate conversations with people a lot more quickly than you would with most strangers.  It allows me to not only be a pastor with my own parishioners, but everywhere I go in my collar.  It allows me to stretch the reach of the Church beyond the walls of our church.

But what I also realized when I left that shop is that talking about the need for prayer probably would not have happened had I not had on my collar.  I am constantly inviting my parishioners to have faith conversations outside the context of our community, but that day I realized how challenging that invitation can be.  A clergy collar is like an automatic ice breaker – it is an invitation for you to say, “Oh good!  Can you pray for us?!?”  But how do we break the ice without such tools?  How can I let the grocery clerk, the delivery man, or the construction worker know that I want to pray for them too – even when I am in my sweats?  How do we get beyond the perfunctory greetings and start having real conversations?  This week, I invite us all to consider how we might start such a journey toward authentic, meaningful conversations about the intersection of our individual journeys and the presence of Christ in our lives.  Know that I will be praying for us both as we figure it out!

The Power of Stories

18 Wednesday May 2016

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Story

Photo credit: coolerinsights.com/2016/04/how-to-tell-winning-brand-stories-on-social-media/

Last week we started our Meet and Greets at Hickory Neck.  I knew that I wanted to get to know the people of the parish in a more meaningful way than just shaking hands in the receiving line after church.  And so, we are gathering in small groups of 10-12 people, and taking time to tell our stories.  The gatherings have already been a tremendous blessing.  I am learning about the varied ways that people found their way to Hickory Neck, their loves and passions, and their hopes and dreams.

What I particularly enjoy about the gatherings is the reminder of how powerful our stories are.  Each person in our community has a unique story, with elements that are quite familiar to us, and elements that are totally foreign to us.  I think that fascination with stories is why I have been attracted to efforts like Humans of New York or StoryCorps.  Those efforts are hoping to capture the everyday nature of our stories, while demonstrating the powerful ways that we connect through our stories.  Our stories have the ability to bring others joy, to elicit empathy, to bring us to tears, and to open up new worlds.

Too often, we are tempted to ignore the depth of those stories with strangers.  We are busy about our business, trying to accomplish tasks, or stick to a schedule.  In that routine, we forget that there are people all around us who have rich stories and whose lives may have something to teach us.  From that man who snapped at you in line, to the child who fell asleep in school, to the mom out in public in her pajamas, to the teen engrossed in social media, each person has a story behind their behavior – and the story may be much different than a quick glance allows us to assess.

If you have not joined a Meet and Greet, I encourage you to sign up at church.  In fact, even last night someone commented about how much they were learning about people they had known for quite some time.  But beyond our work within the community, I invite you to start looking at those outside of our community with a different eye:  the eye of someone who sees the unique and sacred stories we all have.  I look forward to hearing how your encounters go.

You’re Invited!

27 Wednesday Apr 2016

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One of the things that has been fun about living in a new community is being able to operate under the radar for a little while.  I had not started my job yet when my oldest child began her first week in her new school.  That meant I was able to go to the bus stop in plain clothes – where my collar did not cue in the other parents as to what my occupation is.  It was a wonderful experiment because I was able to quickly see how or whether people talk about their faith in this new community.

By the second day, one of the moms introduced herself to me.  She was incredibly friendly and helpful, trying to ascertain how much we had begun to integrate ourselves into the neighborhood.  Within five minutes, she mentioned how I might enjoy bringing the kids to vacation bible school at her church this summer.  She followed up that invitation by asking if I had started looking for a church home.  At that point in the conversation, the cat was out of the bag.  Not only did I have a church home, I was that church’s new pastor.  As I walked home that day I was impressed by her natural and quick ability to do the simple and powerful:  invite me to church.

There is a duo that I have come to love called the Skit Guys.  They do funny skits that poke fun at us church-going people while also exposing, challenging, and encouraging us in our weaknesses.  Some of my favorite skits, like this one, challenge why people do not ever think to invite others to church.   They make the invitation part seem so simple.  At the new bus stop, I realized how right they are.

You are Invited

Photo credit:  www.christiantoday.com/article/church.asks.too.much.of.us.thats.why.we.dont.invite.our.friends/47064.htm

So, this week, I invite you to do the same.  Maybe your child has been at the bus stop all year, but you never broached the “religion” topic with another parent.  Maybe you had a casual chat with someone at the hair salon or barber shop, but you did not think to mention your church.  Maybe you were at a bar or a restaurant and were talking politics and religion, but never asked if they have a good church home.  This week, I invite you to go for it.  Perhaps the person already has a church home and you will hear about some cool ministries they are doing.  Perhaps the person was scorned by the church and you can be a pastoral ear, sharing the times when church has been both hard to be a part of and times when church has been a blessing for you.  Or perhaps the person has been waiting to be asked.  I’m sure you will have a great story to tell if that is the case!  Good luck!

Taking a seat…

24 Wednesday Jul 2013

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On the last day of my spiritual retreat last month, I headed down to the river toward my favorite bench so that I could watch the water and be silent with God one more time.  As I approached the bench, I noticed a woman sitting in a camping chair beside the bench.  I thought about going somewhere else, but I figured since we were still on the monastery grounds, maybe she would not mind just continuing to be in silence next to me.  When I quietly asked her if I could sit at the other end of the bench, she politely agreed.

The silence only lasted about five minutes.  She asked me what I was doing there, and slowly, despite my best efforts at being quiet, she drew me into a conversation.  The conversation that unfolded was surprisingly deep.  We talked about commonalties of geography, faith, and family.  A lapsed Roman Catholic, she had never met a female priest before.  There were many questions about the Episcopal Church – including what she called our “recent controversies.”  I cautiously proceeded, wondering what exactly she thought about our Church, assuming the “recent controversies” she mentioned were about our struggles around our relationship with our LGBT brothers and sisters.  I realized we were both being cautious with one another when, an hour later, she finally began talking about her gay son and how their relationship has evolved over the years.  Toward the end of our conversation, she showed me a devotional book she had been reading.  I asked her if I could write down the title, and before I knew it, she was insisting that I take the book.  She even gave me a bookmark with her name on it so that I would have something by which to remember our conversation.

I left that conversation, feeling more buoyant than I had for much of my retreat.  In fact, that conversation reminded me of a video from the website, Soul Pancake.  Take five minutes to watch the video by clicking here – trust me:  it is worth your time.

I realized if the people from that video and I could have such a random, meaningful, spiritual conversations with a total stranger, surely I could do the same at home.  So that has been the encouragement for getting myself and our parishioners out into the community to do just that.  Of course, the work is harder than it seems.  I have done the first step – getting myself into non-church public places where I can at least encounter strangers.  The next step – figuring out how to start the random conversations – is a bit trickier.  My hope is that if I keep placing myself in situations where encounter can happen, perhaps I will listen a little more intently to the nudging of the Holy Spirit to join someone on a bench or in a ball pit.  Who knows what can happen?