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Seeking and Serving

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Seeking and Serving

Monthly Archives: June 2023

Sabbatical Journey…On Sabbaticals within Sabbaticals

30 Friday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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busy, creation, God, reconnect, rest, sabbatical, spiritual practice, weary

Time for S’mores! (Reuse with permission)

If you are following this blog, you may have noticed that our family’s version of sabbatical is not really about rest.  Our sabbatical is more about getting out of your comfort zone, seeing the beauty of God’s creation, and making amazing memories.  But even sabbatical adventurers sometimes need a day of rest.  One of our crew was not feeling 100% today, so we left him behind and saw just a morning’s worth of the national park we wanted to visit instead of a whole day.  Seeing him have some down time made us realize maybe we all needed a little down time.  So instead of making memories out in the wild, we made memories resting in our lovely hotel.  It wasn’t dreamy or romantic, but it was very much lifegiving.

I was thinking how hard it is for all of us to give ourselves rest.  Our weekends are often a break from the work week or school week, but we want to enjoy them so much we often overly jam pack them – with sports commitments, attending events, meeting up with friends, or just getting out and about town.  Somehow rest on the weekend feels like wasting the weekend.  Part of my own sabbatical and my parish’s sabbatical was not necessarily scheduling a bunch of naps, but about creating space outside of the normal pace of life to reconnect – with God, with one another, with ourselves.

If you are not a part of our parish’s sabbatical (although if you are local, feel free to join any of the fun events found HERE), perhaps you can make this summer about finding mini sabbatical times too.  Maybe that means making space for prayer, finding your way to a church service (either in person or online), or taking on a spiritual practice.  Maybe it means engaging in an activity that helps you connect with God in a way that you haven’t tried before.  Or maybe it means taking a deep breath and really seeing the goodness all around you.  I promise, you’ll be grateful for the energizing your “sabbatical” can create!

Sabbatical Journey…On Hope and Humanity

29 Thursday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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baptismal covenant, bitter, connection, dignity, division, God, hope, humanity, Jesus, reverence, sacred

West Yellowstone (reuse with permission)

I often find myself worried about the state of humanity.  Between our bitter American politics – where the art of compromise seems lost, the nasty interpersonal ways we interact with one another (don’t get me started about my local newspaper’s anonymous section), the way we are almost desensitized to mass violence, and the never-ending presence global warfare, I sometimes find it difficult to see hope or redemption for humanity.

But today was not one of those days.  Today was all about community and shared connection.  It started when we drove through Grand Teton to get to Yellowstone.  We had already had our Teton experience but were hoping to get a last view on our way out of town.  But a thick fog fell on the whole area, and my immediate thought was one of sorrow for all the beautiful sights today’s visitors would miss.  Later, at Old Faithful, we sat waiting for about thirty minutes to see the iconic geyser.  Swarms of people were gathered from all over the country and the world.  But when the geyser finally blew, the united gasp and cheers of joy made me feel like the barriers between strangers were immediately leveled.  Finally, at a community theater in West Yellowstone, we enjoyed a musical in a small venue with a variety of people.  With interaction encouraged, kids invited on stage to sing before the show, laughter, and the love of theater, I felt a true sense of connection to the gathered community.

Of course, I am unlikely to see most of the people I spent time with today again.  So, in the strictest definition, I was not building community.  But what was happening was the fulfilling of my baptismal covenant – where we were all respecting the dignity of every human being.  I think we make that promise in baptism because that is the real first step to building community:  respect, and being able to see the sacred in every person created in the image of God.  When we do that, all that hopelessness about humanity fades away.

If you have not looked at someone today with that kind of reverence, I invite you to give it a try.  Maybe you just watch people a little more gently (remembering days when you were “in a mood,” or when parenting was just super hard).  Maybe you offer a hand or an encouraging word.  Or maybe tonight you pray for someone you never actually met but crossed paths with during the course of the day.  I look forward to seeing how Jesus softens your heart and gifts you renewed hope!

Sabbatical Journey…On Seeing through Song

28 Wednesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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anxiety, creation, enormity, gift, God, great, Holy Spirit, inexpressible, inspiration, longing, song

Chapel of the Transfiguration, Episcopal, Grand Teton National Park (reuse with permission only)

After a day of exploring the magnificent Grand Tetons, seeing beautiful waterfalls, peaceful lakes and rivers, we closed the day with a covered wagon dinner and show.  I had been pondering the beauty of this day, when the western quartet closed the show with the old hymn, “How Great Thou Art.”  If you are not familiar with the hymn, the lyrics are:

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy pow’r thru-out the universe displayed!

Chorus
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When thru the woods and forest glades I wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze,

Repeat Chorus

I could not have asked for a better summary of this day.  As I saw the enormity of the mountains, I stood I awesome wonder.  As I listened to a different familiar hymn being played in rustic chapel, I remember thinking I could look at the views all day from that beautiful space.  As I watched the calm lake, I marveled at the reflection of God’s creation.  As I heard the roar of waterfalls, I felt in my chest the way that God’s love sometimes roaringly overpowers me.  And as the mist of the falls kissed my face, I remember thinking, “My God, how great thou art!”

Sometimes words fail me, especially when encountering so much of God’s inspiring creation.  So often, the artistry of song has helped me shape words my mouth could not.  Tonight, singing that song “How Great Thou Art,” with the help of guitars and a fiddle, I knew immediately those were the words I could not articulate all day.  Other times, sacred songs have come to me in sorrow, in anxiety, and in longing.  I hardly ever choose the songs.  And sometimes I must sit in silence for a long while before the songs pop into my head.  In these times, the songs feel like gifts from God, who knows I need a way to express the inexpressible.

What songs are you longing to hear?  I would love to hear how the Holy Spirit has flitted through your longing heart and given you a song.       

Sabbatical Journey…On Resetting and Love

27 Tuesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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family, frustration, God, hug, invitation, love, peace, perfection, prayer, push, reset, still

Idaho Road (reuse with permission)

In case reading about and seeing pictures from our cross-country adventure make you think we are having a perfect trip with perfectly behaving family members, today reminded me how human we really are.  When you are family, you know each other almost too well:  you know what makes family members laugh and what embarrasses them, you know the quirks of each member and you know teasing is a form of love, you know how far you can push someone until they lose their cool.  But because you love each other unconditionally, sometimes you push anyway.  And when you are in each other’s presence 24/7 for ten days, apparently, the tenth day is when the pushing becomes almost inevitable. 

Despite the dazzling green of Idaho’s countryside, the beautiful rivers of Wyoming, and the stunning mountains across three states, and although there were fun road trip games, stories shared, and conversations had, today I also lost my patience and my ability to exhibit mature parenting responses.  Even with some downtime for all of us, I realized I was snapping too much, and my patience was brittle thin.  What I needed was some unconditional love, and so, as I said goodnight to each family member, I asked for a hug.  Despite having just been bickering not ten minutes earlier, each member to a person gave me a hug without protest.  And suddenly the unease that had settled around me melted away.

Too often – with loved ones, with neighbors, with community leaders, and certainly in church – we forget to reset with love.  I know not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, and I know the pandemic made us anxious about physical contact, but sometimes I think a hug might help us all reset some of the tension between us.  In fact, I know some of us have been frustrated or angry for so long that we are not even sure what we were originally frustrated or angry about. 

When I’m feeling frazzled, one of my favorite prayers is from Psalm 46.10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I love to pray those words repeatedly, each time, dropping the last word in the phrase.   The first time I pray all eight words.  Then I pray just seven, “Be still and know that I am.”  And then six, and so on, until I just pray the word “be.”  If a hug is not available to you today, or if you want to do your own self work on resetting with love, I commend Psalm 46.10.  Between God’s invitation into stillness, and the stillness one finds in hugs, I pray you find some peace this day.

Sabbatical Journey…On Differences and Experiences

26 Monday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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church, Church of Latter-Day Saints, differences, Episcopal, experience, faith, question, Salt Lake City, welcome

She Will Find What is Lost, by Brian Kershisnik, at the CJCLDS Conference Center (picture taken June 25, 2023)

Today, we toured Salt Lake City with a family friend and her family.  We wanted to learn about Temple Square, and help the kids learn a little more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  We couldn’t have had a more patient, open, vulnerable tour guide than our friend.  She constantly said all questions were fair game, and she meant it.  We learned about Church structure and governance, liturgical practices, theology, and personal experience.  Her son told us about his Morman mission to Korea and her girls talked about their choice not to take a mission.  We also got to see the 20,000-seat Conference Center, and the Tabernacle with the 11,000-pipe organ.  And we got the real experience of most businesses being closed on Sundays due to the widely respected sabbath day of rest. 

As we were talking with our friend about her faith and considering the differences in practices and theology, I began to realize how strange my faith must sound to the unchurched.  It is tricky enough to navigate and respect differences within the Abrahamic faiths.  But to someone who is unchurched, surely how we interpret scripture, what we practice (and don’t), and all our rules and restrictions must seem so foreign and intimidating.  Trying to figure out the differences between an Episcopalian and a member of the LDS must feel completely befuddling. 

I think we forget that what matters most to the unchurched is not necessarily all those distinctions among us, but how we treat the unchurched.  So much of what we think about church or other faiths is based on our experience of them – not some heady explanation of doctrine.  So, whether we are treated with dignity matters.  Whether we are given freedom to explore and ask questions without judgment matters.  Whether we experience genuine love and acceptance as we are matters.  I have known many an Episcopalian who was drawn to the Episcopal Church because they were frustrated by the doctrine of another denomination or faith.  But what kept them in the Episcopal Church wasn’t the doctrine they were seeking, but the reception they received once they kept coming back to church.

I hope this blog is one small way you might begin to experience the invitation of church another way.  Your questions and your struggles are welcome here.  You pain and hurt, as well as your hopes and joys, are welcome here.  Your skepticism and your hesitancy are welcome here.  Most of us people of faith are still figuring out this whole faith thing too.  You are welcome here.

Sabbatical Journey…On Finding Mystery

25 Sunday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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Tags

Bryce Canyon, divine, experience, faith, God, hoodoo, knowledge, mystery, open, rigidity, science

Inspiration Point at Bryce Canyon (reuse with permission)

Our sabbatical journey got back on the road, heading this time to Bryce Canyon in Utah.  Before we got started, we watched a fabulous introductory video, telling us all about the flora and fauna of the Canyon, how the hoodoos were formed, the history of the Canyon becoming a National Park, and more.  It was a great introduction to what we would see, and what we might miss otherwise.

Despite the very scientific explanation of how the hoodoos (freestanding columns of weathered rock) are formed, I confess that in this one instance, the science leapt out of my mind as soon as I saw the hoodoos myself – or rather the sea of hoodoos.  Truly, one hoodoo alone is magnificent.  But hundreds of thousands of them is mind boggling.  I stood there unable to comprehend how such an unusual sight could be repeated over and over again.  All I could conclude was that it was a mystery. 

Now I know what you are thinking – there is nothing mysterious about rock formations.  I saw the scientist explain the formation process myself!  But knowing the science and experiencing the science are two different things.  As I stared into what seemed like infinite hoodoos, I kept coming back to that word:  mystery.

Sometimes I think we steer clear of the word mystery when it comes to our faith.  Saying something is a mystery seems like a cop out, or a way to shut down an intellectual conversation.  But I think there is enough in all of our lives that has taught us that mystery is indeed a reality.  Labeling some of our experiences, whether in nature or with God, as mystery allows us the freedom to set aside rigidity and open ourselves to things that seem impossible.  I wonder where in your life you are finding mystery and how mystery is deepening your sense of the divine.  

Sabbatical Journey…On Reframing Puzzles

25 Sunday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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challenge, failure, God, Holy Spirit, hurdle, imperfect, perfect, puzzle, redeem, repentance, Sin City, success, whitewash

Las Vegas Sign (Photo Credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly; reuse with permission)

Tonight, we were able to squeeze in a magic show in our short trip with family in Las Vegas.  Perhaps my favorite part of the show was a puzzle trick.  Jen Kramer, the magician, showed us a puzzle, surrounded by a frame.  She removed the frame, showing us how it was solid.  Then she pulled the magnetic puzzle pieces apart, encouraging us to imagine each piece as a part of lives that define who we are:  special transformative moments, meeting a mentor or a love interest, our family or friends, and on and on.  She reassembled the pieces, and then reminded us that sometimes other pieces are added that don’t quite fit – perhaps a challenge that we cannot quite overcome.  Then she rearranged the pieces and somehow managed to get them back into a perfect square.  The idea is that the challenges and failures of life shape who we are just as much as the blessings.  But the master trick was that when she went to put the frame back on, the puzzle still fit into the frame with the new pieces – the challenge or failure we didn’t plan absorbed into the whole of ourselves.

I loved this metaphor for life in general.  How often do we see hurdles and challenges as something to be glossed over or hidden away:  the diagnosis we struggled to overcome, the job we didn’t get, the lover we lost?  Too often, we see those things as something outside ourselves, as though because we didn’t “win” them, they exist outside of ourselves.  But those challenges and failures are just as much a part of who we are as all the good parts.  Invariably, those no’s lead to shifts in who we are – sometimes helping us find a yes we did not know to pursue.  Sometimes those losses make us appreciate our gains in life.  Sometimes those hurts help us learn to heal into something stronger.

Living in Sin City for the last 36 hours, I have been thinking a lot about poor decisions, losses of all kinds, and regretted behavior.  But much like that magnetic puzzle, I do not think repentance is something that whitewashes our lives before God.  Repentance is about acknowledging how the bad in life has impacted us and those around us as much as the blessings in life.  Though we might want to hide those seeming failures from everyone else, God walks with us through the good, the bad, and the ugly – and offers to make us whole again, managing not to erase parts of us, but to redeem us and use the not so good to shape us into even better selves. 

I wonder what part of your life seems to not “fit” into your perfectly framed life?  How might the Holy Spirit be inviting you to reimagine your “frame,” so that others might not see the posed picture of you, but the full, vulnerable, real picture of you?  Your invitation today is to love all the parts of you that can squeeze into your otherwise perfect frame.  Perhaps the parts that you want to purge might actually become the parts that help others frame their imperfect lives.

Sabbatical Journey…on Finding Awesomeness

22 Thursday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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adored, awesome, creation, God, humble, insignificance, magnificence, majesty, sacred, vast

O Lord, how manifold are thy works!  In wisdom hast thou made them all:  the earth is full of thy riches.  Psalm 104.24

Grand Canyon South Rim (photo by Simone Andrews-Weckerly; reuse with permission only)

Today is the day of my sabbatical I have been most eagerly anticipating.  Today we saw the Grand Canyon.  I had heard many testimonies about the Grand Canyon:  that it is the definition of “awesome,” that pictures cannot do it justice, that it is beyond description.  Quite frankly, the hype made me a bit nervous, because I did not want the reality of my experience to be less than all those things.  And because I have been longing to see the Grand Canyon for as long as I can remember, today started with a lot of nervous energy.

Here is what I found:  all the things people say about the Grand Canyon are true.  There is a way in which when looking at the vastness of the expanses, the vibrancy of colors, the majesty of shapes, my brain almost felt fuzzy – as though my cognitive abilities could not function to describe what was in front of me.  The first experience was certainly awe – I now understand what that word “awesome” actually means.  The second experience was that fuzzy cognitive dissonance.  But the next experience was what really got me.  As I stared into the magnificence of the Grand Canyon, and marveled at the beauty of God’s creation, I slowly began to understand the enormity of God.  So often I have tried to explain God to those struggling to believe, and looking at this awesome canyon made me realize I can never capture God fully.  And that’s when the waterworks started – my tears of recognition of how vast God is and how incredibly tiny each of us is.

I think my tears were about something else today too.  What is even more overwhelming about the contrast in God’s brilliant magnificence, and my seeming insignificance, is the reality that God also desires to be in relationship with me.  I did not leave the Grand Canyon feeling small.  I left the Grand Canyon feeling humbled and adored.  And what’s more, I think everyone around me could feel that too – as we took turns taking each other’s pictures, as we caught each other gasping or muttering our adoration, as we glimpsed each other’s broad smiles.  There is a sacredness in God’s creation – but that sacredness is in us too.  Sometimes you have to walk to the edge of sacredness to understand your own beloved sacredness. 

So, in case you do not have a trip planned to the Grand Canyon too, or maybe you will never be able to go in your lifetime, I want you to know that our God is magnificently beyond our grasp, and yet ever tangibly present in you and me.  You are made in God’s image, and you are awesome too. 

Father Almighty, wonderful Lord, Wonderous Creator, be ever adored; Wonders of nature sing praises to You, Wonder of wonders – I may praise too!  (prayer found in the South Rim Village of the Grand Canyon)

Sabbatical Journey…on Creating Wider Sightlines

21 Wednesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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community, data, focus, God, insight, Jesus, kingdom of God, overwhelming, prayer, sightlines, view

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse with permission)

I remember when my husband first relocated to the East Coast after being raised in Southern California, he said the East Coast made him claustrophobic.  He was used to sightlines as far as the eye could see; on the East Coast, the trees on either side of highways made him feel like he couldn’t breathe.  At the time, I thought his confession was a bit silly, and I was grateful that he eventually adjusted.

Today, as we passed through New Mexico and into Arizona, his confession hit me in reverse.  As someone raised on the East Coast, with trees like a comforting blanket, I became totally overwhelmed while driving.  The sightlines were insane – likely as far as thirty miles away.  My brain felt overloaded with detail – the massive number of images overwhelming my senses and making me feel disoriented.  All I could think is “How can people process all of this every day?!?”

Once I slipped back into the passenger seat, I realized how the sightlines in my life can be a real hazard.  The walls of trees are very much a metaphor for my usual MO:  focus on the path ahead, and don’t worry about what is beyond the trees.  There is determination, focus, and hardness to how I often operate.  But I realized today, that for folks who live out West with these sightlines, they must always be stepping back to absorb all the data before proceeding.  They can see the bigger picture because the picture is, well, bigger.  All that data might feel overwhelming to the unaccustomed eye, but all that data surely must make for better decision making.

I wonder, what trees are blocking your view these days?  Where might you need to pull back some layers or step further back to see what you are missing?  Though I know Jesus loves your focus, I wonder what else Jesus would love for you to see.  And if that feels overwhelming, who are the people in your life who can help you extend your sightlines?  The work of the kingdom is always done in community and prayer.  My prayer for us is that we find some bigger sightlines together!

Sabbatical Journey…on Burdens and Blessings

20 Tuesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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blessing, burden, gifts, God, Holy Spirit, injustice, journey, plan, renew, restore, sabbatical, sideways, travel, weary

My husband is a master planner, especially when it comes to travel.  So, when we embarked on this sabbatical adventure, I had no worries because I knew he had planned the trip, down to which rest areas we should use.  You might imagine that kind of exacting detail would translate to rigidity – someone who can become rattled when things do not go as planned.  But that is not the case with my husband.  In addition to being a master planner, he is also absolutely the person you want in the room when things go sideways.  He is able to quickly shift, make alterations, and carry things forward seamlessly.

Today, just day three of our twenty-one-day adventure, those skills came in very handy.  The first hiccup happened when our lunch plans got altered.  Our lunch date got called away (welcome to the life of a priest-parent!).  I was super sad about missing our visit but know all too well that things happen.  But when you travel with my super husband, all is not lost.  During lunch, my husband coordinated Plan B, and off we went to the Oklahoma City National Memorial.  I had only seen the site in pictures, but pictures cannot capture the power of seeing all those names, retelling the tragic story to our kids, noting small chairs for the children in daycare who died that day, and even worse, the one chair that indicated the death of a pregnant woman, with the unborn named child on her chair.  It was a powerful moment of sobriety and a reminder to all of us how much we need to savor one another.

Fast forward to our final destination.  We were all tired and a bit weary.  When we stopped at our hotel to check in, we figured the water gushing from a ceiling down the hall was a bad sign.  Sure enough, the hotel’s water had been shut down, with no estimated fix schedule.  Before we even got through the line to cancel our registration, my husband was already booking an alternative hotel on his phone, and then calling customer service to make sure our prior booking wouldn’t charge our card.  Our frazzled, anxious little family was on our way to a new hotel less than a block away within the half-hour.

It had been a heavy day.  We began the day with conversations about the Trail of Tears, why there are so many reservations in Oklahoma, and what we can do as consumers to support the economy of indigenous Americans.  We talked about Juneteenth, and wondered about our experiences in Little Rock and how much more work we have to do.  We recalled mass violence and the death penalty as we walked through the vivid artistry of the Oklahoma City National Memorial.  And we dealt with our own travel hiccups.  Needless to say, as walked in 100-degree weather to an impromptu dinner, we were all a bit worse for the wear.

And then I saw it.  A beautiful, unusual flower lining the road of our walk.  It seemed silly to stop and take a picture of the flowers (or at least, so my then cranky family told me), but I knew this was the Holy Spirit’s way of telling me to look around at the blessings of the day:  to remember the constant invitation to think about injustice in all its forms and how we can be agents of change; to remember that even when things do not go your way, sometimes equally wonderful things happen; to remember that even in the midst of sweaty, weary, whiny messes, God uses the gifts of all of us (problem-solving husbands, caring strangers, and even nature herself) to renew and restore us.  What blessings has the Holy Spirit been trying to show you today?

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse with permission)
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