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Seeking and Serving

~ seek and serve Christ in all persons

Seeking and Serving

Category Archives: reflection

On Commitments and Gratitude…

15 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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blessing, commitment, God, grateful, gratitude, joy, list, positive, sight, stewardship, support

Photo credit: https://medium.com/@mnwieschalla/why-you-should-make-a-gratitude-list-every-night-before-bed-fc4a30196af9

One of the tools I use in my line of work is an executive coach.  The coach helps me examine my leadership and develop tools for higher levels of executive functioning.  Sometimes that means troubleshooting a specific challenge I am facing and sometimes that means skill development work.  Each month that we meet, we monitor progress and reflect on newly emerging needs or unresolved issues.  This month the content of our meeting was a little different.  We spent most of the meeting reflecting on things that were going well – successes to celebrate, progress being made, and joys to honor.  As I shared each positive reflection, I was reminded of other things to celebrate.  It was as if the positive news was multiplying, bubbling up as I recalled each source of thanksgiving.

In many ways, that is what we have been inviting our entire congregation to do in this season of stewardship.  Before asking parishioners to consider how they might support ministry with their time, talent, and treasure, first we have been sharing our joys – what good things are happening in our church, what positive impact we are making inside and outside of our church community, and what goodness is motivating our members.  Each bit of sharing has led to more positive, encouraging reflection:  from the mom who really appreciated the elder member sharing about how much he values the formation of children in our church, to the person who still isn’t sure they are an Episcopalian hearing about someone else’s journey to the Episcopal Church through Hickory Neck, to the parishioner who knows the speaker has different views from them but who finds a similar sense of belonging in this unique place.  We have found the sharing of our gratitude begets more gratitude – opens our eyes to the abundance that seems hard to see lately.

This week, as we begin to think about our commitment of support to our church, I invite all of you to start first with gratitude.  What is bringing you joy in your faith community?  What are you grateful for?  What keeps bringing you back?  Start today with a list of three different things for which you are grateful.  Write them down (or make a note in your phone).  Tomorrow, think about three other items, repeating the process each day.  See how the list grows, and watch how your sight begins to widen.  You’re welcome to have your commitment card and forms nearby (or the link from our website open in your tabs), but first, take some time filling your heart with gratitude before filling out the forms with commitments.  Let your commitments pour out of your grateful heart and your conversation with God before sharing those commitments with the community.  I can’t wait to hear how starting with gratitude changes your sight.

On Finding Commonality and Church…

01 Wednesday Oct 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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band, beauty, Christ, church, commonality, community, concert, disparate, healing, meaning, music, unity

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/s/photos/concert-audience

Last weekend we took one of our daughters to her first concert.  It was not a band or even a genre of music I particularly like.  But she had been obsessing over every concert venue.  When the band came within an hour of our town, coupled with a big birthday this year, we couldn’t refuse.  So, off we went, playing chaperone to one of those fun life milestones.

While I cannot say that I came to fall in love with the band, what did not escape me was the beautiful experience of that night.  Feeling like a total outsider, I watched as everyone around me joined in commonality.  I watched as people belted out memorized lyrics, and they mimicked famous moves and gestures of the band, and as they shared excitement as each new song began.  I watched people who did not know each other exchange comradery and joy with total strangers.  I watched parents smile at the adulation of a younger generation.  I watched many disparate parts come together as one in that singular moment.

Now I would never claim that Church, especially a church in my denomination, has the same electric, communal energy as that night of raw, unfiltered passion caused by music, but I like to dream that some things like that night happen every Sunday.  We gather every Sunday as a disparate group too:  young parents, frazzled by life; retirees, finding their purpose in later life; singletons longing for a place of belonging; couples or families praying they are not alone in their experiences.  Those who are joyous, those who are grieving, those who are anxious, and those who are feeling good gather every week – not for a favorite band per se, but certainly for a favorite activity.  We gather to remember something bigger than ourselves as individuals, to ground ourselves in something better than what sometimes feels like the daily grind, to find oneness in the one bread and one cup.

Though I would never claim my church feels like going to a band’s concert, I do think Church offers a weekly dose of beauty, of commonality, of belonging, and of joyful purpose.  For those who are not regular church-goers, or even for those who have been hurt by the Church, I understand why you would keep your distance.  But when the Church is at her most Christ-like, the Church offers a weekly gift that might be a source of healing from all those hurts, isolations, and divisions of life.  If you ever want to give it a try, know that this community welcomes you here.

On Rituals and Faith…

24 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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church, disconnected, God, Jesus, journey, kids, pleasure, reflection, ritual, routine, television

Photo credit: https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/hand-popcorn-bowl

I grew up in a time where watching TV meant sitting down with my family at a TV at a scheduled time of a show (though eventually with the ability to record a show and watch it later).  The experience is somewhat foreign to my and my family’s patterns now, with so many on-demand options and individual devices, not to mention increased prices at movie theaters. 

That’s why I’ve been especially grateful this summer and fall with some “old school” experiences with my kids.  My older child and I started watching a show several years ago that released its final season this summer.  However, unlike shows who release seasons in bulk, this one released the episodes one at a time.  We found ourselves dissecting each episode, wondering what would happen next week, making “dates” to sit down together and watch.  Meanwhile, our local movie theater is re-airing a movie series in the theaters – one movie each week for eight weeks.  The movies are based on books my younger child and I have read, and we’ve been able to have our own set of dates, recalling favorite moments, making connections she hadn’t noticed before now that she’s read most of the books.  It’s been a delightful source of joy for both of us.

Having these experiences has made me think a lot about rituals – not just the content of my time with my kids, but the ritual of setting aside time, joining in something that brings us pleasure, making space for conversation and reflection.  Reflecting on these last weeks has made me ever more appreciative of the rituals we find in church.  Some are obvious, like attending weekly worship.  But others are less obvious, like how it feels to receive communion weekly, talking about what we learned that day through Sunday School or a sermon, or even the beauty of a post-church nap every week.  The ritual of being connect to a church community creates the environment for us to develop a relationship with God too.  I have no way of knowing if my children will be church attenders in their adult lives, but by giving them the experience of the ritual, they at least have some place to start in adulthood for making their own way to God.

I wonder what rituals need tending in your life this week.  Where are you feeling disconnected and disjointed, and how might finding your way back to those rituals feed your life and your journey with Jesus?  Or, if you are not so sure about that relationship with God, how might trying out some of the rituals with church open up some doors to which you didn’t know you had access.  I look forward to hearing about your what tending you want to try this week!

On Collars, Conversations, and Casual Clothes…

10 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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caring, clergy, clothes, collar, faithful, God, Lord, love, receive, serve

Photo credit: https://medium.com/test-everything/everything-you-never-wanted-to-know-about-clerical-collars-2faa4b84c092

One of our favorite family errands is making the Costco run:  grabbing bulk supplies and some special treats to stock the house for the coming weeks.  My experience these days is mostly functional:  get in, grab items on the list, avoid being tempted by impulse purchases caused by yummy samples, and get home.  But last week I ended up near the warehouse while still in my clergy collar and decided to make a run anyway.  I do not know if it was the collar or it was a full moon, but I could not seem to get out of the warehouse without myriad encounters:  from the older gentleman who started with a question about bread and from whom I had to drag myself away ten minutes later because I think he was working out some loneliness; to the customers who either stared at or asked me directly about my collar; to the employee at check out who, without one word about my attire, asked me to pray for the staff that day. 

I have been thinking about how different that day in the store was from days when I do not wear a collar – wondering how folks might see me as a safe person to share their questions, wonderings, and concerns with or without a collar.  For some, the collar is a visual cue toward receptivity – a signal that I am a pastor even outside the church walls.  I suspect that once my collar is off, I am not necessarily putting out “Come talk to me – I welcome your thoughts, cares, and ponderings” vibes. 

Every Sunday in church we talk about taking the church out into the world.  Our dismissal says, “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”  My shopping experience made me wonder how much I limit that loving and serving.  Do I only love and serve the Lord when I’m in the mood?  Is my selective loving and serving obvious to others?  In other words, am I somehow actively shutting down loving, faithful care in daily life by masking my identity as a child of God by wearing my “casual clothes”? 

I invite your pondering with me this week about how loving and serving the Lord might mean cultivating a receptivity to loving, open, caring conversations with friends, family, and strangers (especially strangers!) alike.  We all need down time from being on at work or in our family or our volunteer roles.  But perhaps this week, we can experiment with using some of our “ordinary time” for unusual encounters – seeing people as they really are, listening more meaningfully when people reach out, pausing when others indicate they could use some of your time.  I cannot wait to hear how the shift in your week goes!

On Discernment and Community…

03 Wednesday Sep 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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college, conversation, discernment, gifts, God, Job, joy, passion, satisfaction, vocation

Photo credit: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-vocation-well-its-job-career-willie-chain/

Our older daughter is starting up the college tour in earnest this school year, and with that search have come conversations about college that were not a part of the conversations I had at a similar age.  Given the astronomical increases in the cost of tuition relative to income, our conversations with our children now include considerations like return on investment, debt management, and employability – topics I never addressed with my parents because going to college, let alone a prestigious college, meant things would fall into place for you – even if you chose a non-traditional path.

I have found this conversation bleeding into other areas of my life too.  The owner of the body shop I recently used and I got into a conversation about how we are guiding our children vocationally.  He shared how there is even a debate in his own vocation about the value of expensive, time-consuming vo-tech schools versus real world experience.  Even NASA has been conducting research about its own young employees who go straight into vocational training versus a traditional four-year college experience – most making six figures in their early twenties.

Of course, all this analysis came to a screeching halt the moment my younger daughter joined me in picking up my car at the body shop.  She was admiring some paint samples when the owner explained to her that he had invented some of the colors himself – some of which have been used by international businesses.  She then asked him a question I had not thought to ask, “What’s the best car you ever worked on?”  It was a simple question, but what her question taught me was something much more basic about vocational discernment: What brings you joy and satisfaction?

That basic question has got me thinking this week about how we value each other.  In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says that God granted that some are apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers (4.11).  Not only do we need to be helping our children discern what gifts God is nurturing in them, we need to do the good work of celebrating each other’s gifts.  I remember have a case of nerves in seminary about preaching a senior sermon.  Upon hearing I was nervous, a professor quoted to me from the song There is a balm in Gilead.  He recited, “Well, if you cannot preach like Peter, if you cannot pray like Paul, you can tell the love of Jesus, and say ‘He died for all.’”   

This week, I invite you to start looking at others with a different lens – searching for the unique gifts you see in others and celebrating those gifts with them.  Far too often we see the transactional nature of each other – the jobs we do or the roles we play and how those jobs and roles serve a purpose.  But I am much more interested in the vocations that are bringing others joy and satisfaction – a joy and satisfaction that can reinvigorate my own passion for the gifts God has given me.  I can’t wait to hear about the conversations you have this week!

On Leaks and Parishes…

31 Thursday Jul 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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Tags

church, Episcopal, faith, God, member, parish, spiritual, world

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly. Reuse with permission only.

Last week at our church we discovered a leak in our parish house that necessitated saws, hammers, and very loud industrial fans.  By Friday, the constant noise broke my patience and I decided I needed to find an alternate place to work remotely – maybe not a place of silence, but certainly a change of scenery.  I landed in two different eateries/coffeehouses and decided to publicize my “remote office.”

What I found was people visiting from out-of-town I did not know were here, parishioners running errands, happy for an open ear, and lots of gratitude for being invited into the shared experience – both from church members and non-members alike.  The experience reminded me why Episcopal Churches are often referred to as “parishes.” Once upon a time, Episcopal churches served a geographic region, or a parish, and the priest was sort of the neighborhood priest.  Doing my work and meeting people where they are – whether they are from my actual church or not, reminded me of the original intention or churches:  that their priests were for the good of the entire community, not just the members.

Archbishop William Temple is attributed with having once said, “The Church is the only institution that exists primarily for the benefit of those who are not its members.”  At our church, we often talk about our mission being simultaneously about those inside our walls and those outside our walls.  That’s why we are doing some big things of late:  developing a third worship service designed specifically for people who are not a part of our community; forming a team who will look at alternative uses of our property that are missional and community-facing; and establishing small groups for spiritual formation that meet off campus – in homes and places of everyday “parish” life.  If we truly believe Archbishop Temple, then our clergy sitting in coffeehouses and eateries should more often be the norm than the crisis-driven exception.

Being out in the “parish” is not just the role of the priest.  I wonder how you are taking your faith, your worship community, your church out into the world.  When was the last time you asked a friend about their spiritual health (in the same way you would ask them about their physical or emotional health)?  When was the last time you were listening deeply to another person’s story and were willing to offer where you saw God in their story?  When was the last time you invited someone to church – not necessarily to the building on Sunday at a certain time, but into the experience of “church” that has been so transformative for you?  I cannot wait to hear about how you can envision taking your church out into the parish!

On Seeing Joy…

18 Wednesday Jun 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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abundance, calendar, children, extraordinary, God, Holy Spirit, joy, ordinary, scheduling, soul

Photo credit: https://www.kcresolve.com/blog/why-joy-is-scary

Those who have young children, or are friends with families with children, know that a big part of parenting is running your kids to activities – sports, dance, music, or whatever other passion the kid has (or the parent wants them to have).  The more children there are, the more running and coordinating there seems to be.  When I talk to most parents, that shuttling and coordinating is something that occupies big spaces in their brains and emotional energy – myself included!

These next two weeks, our family is in the thick of that mode of being with our little one.  She has started a fun summer day camp, her dance recital is this weekend (the culmination of a year of work), and next week she gets to do a half-day basketball camp and start summer cello lessons with a beloved teacher.  My normal response to such a load is feeling overwhelmed by the details.  But this week, I have had an odd sense of objectivity about it all.  Over the course of two weeks, this kid will get to experience all the things she loves in life:  play, dance, basketball, music, and relationship.  I have been marveling at how awesome it is to have so many soul-feeding things in such a short span of time.  It is like a concentrated dose of joy-making and I find myself getting to bask in the glow of her happiness.

Watching this special time for her has made me wonder how we are structuring our own busy calendars.  Summer is often a time of special trips and adventures.  But I am not sure what is calling to me is the planning of extraordinary things to fill our hearts.  Instead, what I sense is calling me is to name the extraordinary in the ordinary life I have crafted for myself.  If I value relationships, how are those relationships feeding me right now?  If I value the health of my body, how am tending to my body?  If I feel enlivened when I am rooted in God, how am I connecting with God these days?

I wonder what ways the Holy Spirit is calling you into joy through the abundant gifts surrounding you.  I wonder what beautiful things in your life you have been remiss in giving gratitude for lately.  I wonder if this week, you might take out that planner, or calendar, or set of sticky notes on the fridge, and start reframing those things that feel like obligations as things that God has gifted you for your joy.  I cannot wait to hear where you are finding abundance!

On the Risk of Anticipation…

12 Wednesday Mar 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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anticipate, anticipation, control, dance, God, good, Holy Spirit, impact, Lent, movement, planner, spiritual

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/tango–761882461966749050/

So, what does a Dancing with the Williamsburg Stars competitor do after the competition?  Well, in my case, you get back in the studio!  Before the competition even began, I already knew I wanted to keep dancing.  I was having such a great time stretching my mind and body learning new things that I knew it was a good physical, and spiritual, discipline I wanted to maintain. 

Now, you may be wondering how in the world ballroom dancing can be categorized as a spiritual discipline.  The truth is, I encounter the sacred in ballroom dance all the time.  I talked about it once before HERE.  This week, as I started my first post-competition class, we went back to basics, learning the rumba and cha-cha.  There’s a certain humbling that comes with learning a new dance that I had forgotten from when I started months ago.  As we progressed through the class, I felt like I was slowly getting the hang of the technicalities – that is, until we started turns.  At one point, my instructor said, “Stop anticipating!”  He reminded me that he would show me where to go, but if I anticipated what he was going to do next, I would mess up our unique dance.

Those two words have been rattling around in my head.  Stop anticipating.  You see, I am a planner by nature.  Anticipation is my jam.  I am constantly thinking ahead, wondering about decision trees and the potential impact of each branch.  I like thinking about the larger system and strategically guiding my parish in our next steps.  So, the idea of stopping anticipation seems anathema. 

But the more I thought about it, every good thing that has come about in my ministry was nothing I actually anticipated.  In my current parish, I might have conducted a needs assessment with the community, listened to my parish’s desires, and researched a particular new ministry.  But what I didn’t anticipate was an outside group needing space to do the exact ministry we were contemplating.  I might have envied other parishes with digital ministries, but what I never anticipated was a worldwide pandemic that would launch my church’s own digital ministry.  I might be dreaming with my parish about alternative revenue streams and the repurposing of our spaces, but what I didn’t anticipate was three conversations that fell into my lap in the course of three weeks about potential partnerships.  When I finished the planning and stop anticipating, God happened each time.

I wonder in what ways your anticipation is blocking the movement of the Holy Spirit.  In what ways are you anticipating a left-hand turn, only to discover, God is over the to right, ready for you, if you can just stop anticipating?  For those of you who are lifetime planners, I know this is hard spiritual work.  Perhaps this Lent, you can join me in my prayer, “Lord, help me stop anticipating.” 

On Ashes and Dust…

05 Wednesday Mar 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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Ash Wednesday, ashes, care, community, dust, dusty, finitude, God, healing, mortality, music, organ, spiritual life, vulnerability

Phot credit: https://www.yamaha.com/en/musical_instrument_guide/pipeorgan/maintenance/

Last year our parish was donated a new pipe organ.  We have been eagerly waiting for the deconstruction of our current organ and the installation of the new one.  The time has finally come, we said a prayer of blessing on the current organ, and we have been waiting and watching as the process begins.  Ideally this wouldn’t be staring just days before Ash Wednesday, but I suppose there is no “perfect” time to deconstruct your worship space.

Knowing we are in a liminal time of deconstruction and reconstruction, I had not thoroughly thought through the impact this time would have on our experience of Ash Wednesday.  But walking into the Chapel this morning, seeing the pipes mostly gone, and the guts of our current organ exposed, I was hit by a sadness I couldn’t quite place.  Almost 20 years of music from that organ has filled our worship space, countless talented individuals have made the organ sing, and even more moments of sacred encounters with God have happened through that instrument.  Seeing the organ exposed today did something that left me unsettled. 

Photo credit: https://annkroeker.com/2011/03/09/there-back-again-my-first-ash-wednesday/

When I necessarily turned my attention to preparing for tonight’s Ashes to Go and Ash Wednesday service, I realized what was so unsettling.  Ash Wednesday is all about reminding us of our mortality, our finitude, and our vulnerability before God.  When those gritty ashes are scraped across my forehead and I am told that I will return to dust, that texture and those words linger with me.  So too, as that organ case sits gaping and open, with dust motes floating in the air, our worship space has suddenly become the perfect metaphor for entering a Holy Lent.

I wonder what gaping holes Ash Wednesday is exposing for you.  I wonder where your spiritual life is feeling dusty and in need of some care.  As always, you are most welcome to engage at Hickory Neck Episcopal Church for some tending – to find a connection with God that might be missing, to heal some holes that have been exposed for too long, and to find a place of belonging, because, believe me, you are not alone.  Welcome to Lent.

Photo credit: Stephen Trumbull; reuse with permission only

On the Dance of Trust…

12 Wednesday Feb 2025

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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Tags

afraid, dance, God, grace, hard, trust

Photo credit: World Class Ballroom

In a little over a week, I will be competing in my town’s version of Dancing with the Stars – where 12 of us local “stars” are paired with professional dancers and perform our routines in a ticketed show.  The event is for charity, hoping to raise about $60,000 for our local Big Brothers Big Sisters affiliate and Literacy for Life.  When I was asked to be a star this year, I was excited.  I loved the idea of supporting local ministries, of a clergy person doing something so outside the box, and the fun of dancing.

Naively, I thought years of dancing in childhood and adolescence would be a big help.  I took ballet, tap, and jazz all through my school years – even taking a little ballet in college.  I was on dance teams in high school and college, doing hip hop style dancing.  And I even took a “Social Dance” class in college meant to teach you the basics of ballroom dance.  Consequently, I was fully expecting to learn and execute my routine with relative ease.

What I hadn’t accounted for in my mental preparation was what dancing with a partner would mean.  Of course, I knew that, as a female, I would need to let the male lead – and I also knew that would be hard based on previous experiences.  It can be hard to trust someone who also doesn’t know what they are doing.  But I had assumed dancing with a professional would make the trust part easier.  That was until a lesson recently where my teacher basically told me that I needed to fall forward in a particular position – with the promise he would catch me.  When I gave him an incredulous look, he explained that if I tried to catch myself, I would make him fall.  But if I just fell, he would catch me and the move would look dramatically graceful.

I have loved getting to know my teacher and have no reason not to trust him – he’s incredibly talented and has been doing this for ages.  But my resistance to trusting my teacher has given me a lot of insight on how deeply demanding trusting God is.  God has proven to us time and again how God is holding us, caring for us, bringing us to the right places at the right time.  And yet, every time something gets scary or unfamiliar, we yank that trust right back.  I suppose that is why we hear that refrain in Scripture, “Do not be afraid,” so often – because being unafraid is really hard.

I wonder in what ways you are holding back your trust in God these days.  I wonder how often you are unwilling to “fall,” expecting something dramatically graceful, and instead limiting God’s grace by your resistance to giving up control.  Letting go will not be easy – God wouldn’t have to tell us to not be afraid so much if letting go were easy.  But imagine the beautiful dance you could produce if you could reach out your hand and instead say, “Here I am.  Send me.” 

You can help me “let go” by making a donation to the amazing charities we are supporting.  Click HERE to donate today and make a difference in the lives of others.

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