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Seeking and Serving

Tag Archives: prayer

Sabbatical Journey…On Resetting and Love

27 Tuesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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family, frustration, God, hug, invitation, love, peace, perfection, prayer, push, reset, still

Idaho Road (reuse with permission)

In case reading about and seeing pictures from our cross-country adventure make you think we are having a perfect trip with perfectly behaving family members, today reminded me how human we really are.  When you are family, you know each other almost too well:  you know what makes family members laugh and what embarrasses them, you know the quirks of each member and you know teasing is a form of love, you know how far you can push someone until they lose their cool.  But because you love each other unconditionally, sometimes you push anyway.  And when you are in each other’s presence 24/7 for ten days, apparently, the tenth day is when the pushing becomes almost inevitable. 

Despite the dazzling green of Idaho’s countryside, the beautiful rivers of Wyoming, and the stunning mountains across three states, and although there were fun road trip games, stories shared, and conversations had, today I also lost my patience and my ability to exhibit mature parenting responses.  Even with some downtime for all of us, I realized I was snapping too much, and my patience was brittle thin.  What I needed was some unconditional love, and so, as I said goodnight to each family member, I asked for a hug.  Despite having just been bickering not ten minutes earlier, each member to a person gave me a hug without protest.  And suddenly the unease that had settled around me melted away.

Too often – with loved ones, with neighbors, with community leaders, and certainly in church – we forget to reset with love.  I know not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, and I know the pandemic made us anxious about physical contact, but sometimes I think a hug might help us all reset some of the tension between us.  In fact, I know some of us have been frustrated or angry for so long that we are not even sure what we were originally frustrated or angry about. 

When I’m feeling frazzled, one of my favorite prayers is from Psalm 46.10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I love to pray those words repeatedly, each time, dropping the last word in the phrase.   The first time I pray all eight words.  Then I pray just seven, “Be still and know that I am.”  And then six, and so on, until I just pray the word “be.”  If a hug is not available to you today, or if you want to do your own self work on resetting with love, I commend Psalm 46.10.  Between God’s invitation into stillness, and the stillness one finds in hugs, I pray you find some peace this day.

Sabbatical Journey…on Creating Wider Sightlines

21 Wednesday Jun 2023

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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community, data, focus, God, insight, Jesus, kingdom of God, overwhelming, prayer, sightlines, view

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse with permission)

I remember when my husband first relocated to the East Coast after being raised in Southern California, he said the East Coast made him claustrophobic.  He was used to sightlines as far as the eye could see; on the East Coast, the trees on either side of highways made him feel like he couldn’t breathe.  At the time, I thought his confession was a bit silly, and I was grateful that he eventually adjusted.

Today, as we passed through New Mexico and into Arizona, his confession hit me in reverse.  As someone raised on the East Coast, with trees like a comforting blanket, I became totally overwhelmed while driving.  The sightlines were insane – likely as far as thirty miles away.  My brain felt overloaded with detail – the massive number of images overwhelming my senses and making me feel disoriented.  All I could think is “How can people process all of this every day?!?”

Once I slipped back into the passenger seat, I realized how the sightlines in my life can be a real hazard.  The walls of trees are very much a metaphor for my usual MO:  focus on the path ahead, and don’t worry about what is beyond the trees.  There is determination, focus, and hardness to how I often operate.  But I realized today, that for folks who live out West with these sightlines, they must always be stepping back to absorb all the data before proceeding.  They can see the bigger picture because the picture is, well, bigger.  All that data might feel overwhelming to the unaccustomed eye, but all that data surely must make for better decision making.

I wonder, what trees are blocking your view these days?  Where might you need to pull back some layers or step further back to see what you are missing?  Though I know Jesus loves your focus, I wonder what else Jesus would love for you to see.  And if that feels overwhelming, who are the people in your life who can help you extend your sightlines?  The work of the kingdom is always done in community and prayer.  My prayer for us is that we find some bigger sightlines together!

Sabbatical Journey…Finding God on the Road

18 Sunday Jun 2023

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blessing, competition, connection, game, God, grace, human, image of God, journey, prayer

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse with permission only)

One of our favorite road trip pastimes as a family is the “license plate game.”  We try to spot license plates from all fifty states while we drive.  We even have a little board that allows you to flip over a wooden replica of a plate when you see that state’s plate, helping you track which ones you are missing.  It’s a fun game for all ages that helps pass the time, and in feels mildly educational as parents.

Today we embarked on our family’s sabbatical road trip:  twenty-one states in twenty-one days.  Many of the sites have been on our bucket lists for years, and some of the sites we only learned about while planning the route.  We know this will be the trip of a lifetime, and we are thrilled to be able to do this together.  One of the themes of my sabbatical has been connection, and we suspect there will be lots of connection by the end of this journey.

As we commenced our journey today, the license plate game started immediately.  We had a bit of a slow start at the beginning, and I wondered if we were going to get stuck as we drove further away from the East Coast.  At some point, as kids and the other adult were snoozing, I saw one of the states I was particularly worried about missing, and I remember thinking, “Oh thank goodness for Delaware!!” 

My thought was rather silly and overly dramatic, but as I kept driving, I began to wonder what it might be like to not just treat the game as a calculated collection of inanimate objects, but instead to imagine the lives and worth of each human life in the cars.  How much more life-giving would it be to say to another driver, “I am so grateful for you today!  May your travels be a source of blessing!”  The image of 35 blessings instead of 35 wooden blocks on our game board made me realize how unfathomable God’s love is for all of God’s creatures.  Here I am competing in a game, when, if I use God’s eyes of grace, I might be seeing 35 blessings, 35 carloads of people made in God’s image, 35 possibilities for connection, or 35 invitations to move closer to God in prayer.

I look forward to finding new ways to see with God’s eyes of grace on the next leg of our trip.  I would love to hear how you found God’s invitation to blessing through others today!

On Searching for Slightly Sideways…

30 Tuesday May 2023

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God, listen, powerful, prayer, retreat, routine, sideways, spirituality

Mepkin Abbey 2023. Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse only with permission).

You might imagine as a priest that going to a monastery on retreat is like going to church on steroids.  And perhaps in some ways it is:  certainly, going to worship five times in a day for multiple days in a row is pretty churchy.  But spending time at a monastery at the root does something much more subtle and important.  Spending time at a monastery turns everything familiar slightly sideways.

When I’m here, I eat three meals a day just like anywhere else.  But here, I have no control over the menu, the food is straightforward, and you eat what is available.  No buffet of options, no taking orders, no preview of the menu.  You just show up and eat something simple, satisfying, and sufficient.

And let’s not forget that those meals are eaten in silence.  At home, I fight tooth and nail to get my family members to put down their technology (me included!), to talk for 15-20 minutes.  It’s often the only intentional time we get together as a family to find out what’s going on in our lives.  But when I’m at the monastery, despite the fact that I am sitting across from people from all walks of life –  other religious members, seekers, those needing spiritual nourishment – I cannot talk to them, ask them what they thought of the service we just attended, talk about their journey with God, or even see if they have tips about good places to be inspired on campus. 

Of course, there is worship.  As an Episcopalian, the Roman Catholic daily office and Eucharist of the Trappist monks is familiar – but not exactly the same.  I know how to follow along with chanting psalms and antiphons, I know what to expect with the Magnificat, and I know some of the words of the Eucharist.  But I stumble through various books, parts of the liturgies that the other Romans know by heart, and even which direction to face (despite the orientation materials!).  Everything is perfect – and slightly off from familiar.

And that is what this churchy person needs while on retreat.  I need things to be slightly “off” to shake up my spiritual routines.  When I am slightly uncomfortable in worship, I hear rhythms differently, I catch words more powerfully, and I am surprised by God’s presence more readily.  When I am eating unfamiliar food, the simple flavors awaken my senses more than an exotic meal – making me savor the gift of nourishment in ways I never do when I am rushing to the next thing.  When I am sitting in silence, all the words that regularly tumble out of my mouth must be put on a shelf:  instead, my ears become more attuned to both my neighbor and to God.  Prayer seeps into the meal in ways more powerful than daily grace. 

I wonder what ways you and I can create that “slightly sideways” experience at home.  In the hum of everyday life, perhaps there are ways to shake up the familiar.  Perhaps it means refusing to engage in stimulation while driving:  no music, podcasts, or quick phone calls.  Perhaps it means having a certain day of the week for a simple meal.  Or perhaps you have another way of breaking your routine – just briefly enough to turn down the noise of life and let in the noise of God.  I look forward to hearing what you try!

The Grace of Seasons…

01 Wednesday Jun 2022

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church, faith, God, grief, journey, joy, life, naming, prayer, scripture, season, stability, thanks

Photo credit: Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly. Reuse with permission.

I have been working on some continuing education classes for about a year and a half.  I just had a three week break and during that time was able to quickly read three fluffy novels.  The funny thing is, during that same time, I kept watching friends talk about the most recent book they were reading and feeling jealous, thinking, “I never have time to read!”  But I realized during this break between semesters that I will eventually have time and I do still love to read; this is just a season of life when my reading is a little limited to the academic variety. 

That realization got me thinking about seasons of life.  I remember a season with newborns when I did a ton of reading because I was hooked up to a breast pump for about 2 hours a day.  I remember a season before COVID when I traveled distances for meetings and was able to catch up on podcasts and phone calls, feeling more knowledgeable and caught up on the day’s news.  I remember multiple seasons of parenthood when I thought I would never survive something, only to look fondly upon that season later. 

Our faith journey can be a lot like that too.  We all have seasons – seasons when we feel a bit too busy for regular church attendance (thank goodness for those recorded livestreams!); seasons when everything is clicking and some piece of scripture we read totally connects with something happening in our life; and seasons when we are too angry, sad, or unsure to even engage God in prayer.  The nice thing is when we can recognize that we are in a season, we can remember the hard stuff will not last forever, and good stuff will change and shift into new and different good stuff. 

I do not know what kind of season you are in right now.  Maybe you are in a season of grief, of feeling a lack of control, or in a rut of what feels like failures.  Maybe you are in a season of new life, of exciting possibilities, of new opportunities.  Maybe you are in a season of stability and are hoping nothing rocks the boat.  I invite you to talk about that season with God.  Whether you need to curse the season, give thanks for the season, or plead for a new season, somehow just naming the experience of the season is enough to lift its power and help you see grace in it.  That is my prayer for you today.

How long, O LORD?

25 Wednesday May 2022

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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change, children, common ground, God, gun violence, massive shooting, nothing, prayer, shooting, together

Photo credit: https://www.kcrg.com/2021/11/08/prayer-vigil-planned-fairfield-high-school-spanish-teacher-found-dead/

Early this morning, I put my middle schooler on a bus.  She still lets me take her to the bus stop (as long as I stay in the car).  Everyday I pray as the 20 kids board the bus that they will be kind to one another and to themselves.  They are long-time experts in active shooter drills.  We acknowledge them, but I tend to minimize them because their normalcy breaks my heart. 

Later this morning, I put my second grader on a bus.  We still hold hands on the walk to the stop, she still plays with her classmates once we arrive.  Almost 30 kids board the bus everyday – from tiny kindergarteners to lanky fifth graders.  She is becoming an expert in active shooter drills too.  But because she is the age of some children who were shot to death yesterday in Texas, I couldn’t help calculating that the number of kids who didn’t come home last night in Uvalde was about 2/3 of the children on our bus.  I kept thinking about how sad my second grader is for school to be ending soon because she loves her teacher so much – and how traumatized my daughter would be if her teacher had died shielding my daughter and her classmates.  The more I picture standing outside that school waiting for news of my child’s fate, the closer I feel to crumbling in sobs of grief.

Yesterday, I did what we always do after a tragedy.  I quoted scripture on social media in the wake of the news.  “How long, O LORD, must I call for help? But you do not listen!  ‘Violence is everywhere!’ I cry, but you do not come to save.” (Habakkuk 1.2)  This morning as the bus pulled away, those words echoed in my ears, “How long, O LORD?” 

The response from God was stark, “I don’t know.  You tell me!”  I cried out to God yesterday and this morning for help to end this awful system of violence. In response, God reminded me I am God’s feet and hands in this world.  If I want the violence to stop, I can and should certainly pray.  But my prayer must in part be a prayer to summon political courage to actually do something.  And not just for me, but for all of us – those who would have us get rid of every gun in this country and those who would fight to the death for their guns – and everyone in between.  This problem is for all of us.  We are all to blame for massive shootings.  How?  Because in doing nothing, in finding no common ground at all, we are simply praying until the next massive shooting happens.  Whether you need to imagine your own children or your own childhood teacher in the faces of those who have died, allow the utter sorrow and pain to pierce your soul today so that tomorrow you do something – anything – to make a change.  And if you really want to make an impact, find someone whose opinion on gun control is different from yours and start talking about what you can do together to make a change.  That’s my prayer for us today.  That we start answering the question, “How long?” with “I change it today with you.”

On Shielding and Sharing Joy…

17 Wednesday Nov 2021

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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complain, compline, God, goodness, grateful, gratitude, imperfection, joy, joyous, perfection, prayer, shield, Thanksgiving

Photo credit: https://www.facebook.com/episcopalian/photos/keep-watch-dear-lord-with-those-who-work-or-watch-or-weep-this-night-and-give-yo/10155444636122925/

This month at Youth Group, before we began our closing prayer, the leader asked us each to name one good thing that had happened in the last week.  Immediately, the brows of each person in the room (adults included) furrowed as we tried to think back about something good in a sea of busyness.  Some of us struggled to remember anything good.  Others immediately burst forth with a fun thing they had gotten to do.  Some shyly shared an accomplishment for which they were proud.  And some were more abstract, like the beauty of the fall foliage.

I was struck by how each one of us in the room had to think quite hard about something good happening in our lives. I do not think we struggled because there is nothing good.  I think we struggled because our brains, or maybe our culture, has wired us to do the opposite – to complain about all the things going wrong, to see only the imperfections in life or in ourselves, to be discouraged by all that could be better in our circles.  A heart of gratitude or joy takes work.  Some of us come by gratitude and joy naturally, but most of us have been enculturated to see where there is want.  That’s why one of our favorite prayers from Compline has a line in its petitions to God for God to “shield the joyous.”[i] 

As we approach Thanksgiving Day next week, I wonder if this year you are still struggling to find the joy.  Maybe you still cannot gather safely with family, maybe you are worried about the safety of the children or the vulnerable in your family, or maybe you are just weary from this time of pandemic.  I suspect many of us are feeling critical of the imperfect and are having a hard time holding on to the perfect(ly good enough). 

My prayer for you this week is that God shields your joy.  But I invite you to consider partnering with God in this endeavor.  Each day until Thanksgiving Day, before you drift off to sleep, think back to one thing for which you grateful, that gave you joy, or was just a good moment.  The goodness does not have to be big or creative.  Start with something basic.  While you engage in this prayerful practice, I will be praying that God shields your joy, and I hope you will share your joy with someone else – so they can be shielded by God too. 


[i] Book of Common Prayer, 134.

On the Sacred and Bus Stops…

08 Wednesday Sep 2021

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action, bus, children, compassion, empathy, holy, prayer, ritual, sacred, transition, world

Photo credit: https://www.longislandpress.com/2019/12/13/school-bus-stop-arm-cameras-coming-soon-to-long-island/

For years now, I have walked my children to the school bus stop.  It has been precious time – holding hands, talking about expectations and hopes for the day, noticing nature’s wonders, playing games while we wait.  We have goodbye rituals too:  the four instructions they get everyday (have fun, be kind, learn lots, and do your best), waving and making heart signs from the bus, waiting until the bus pulls away.  They are rituals that are often taken for granted as the day’s to-do list creeps into one’s mind.  But when one pays attention, one realizes these are sacred rituals.

As you can imagine, the transition to the new rituals of Middle School has been a bit rough.  I am still allowed to drive my child to the bus stop, but definitely not allowed to get out of the car.  We still talk about hopes and expectations, except when a friend finally shows up and becomes the priority.  We are in that journey to adulthood where my child’s primary influences are changing from me to her peers:  and this is good and holy too. 

And so, I am creating new practices for myself.  When my child leaves the safe space of the car and boards the bus with twenty other kids, I have been surprised to find myself praying.  Praying for my own child, certainly:  that she will be safe from this pandemic, that she will cultivate friendships that are life-giving, that she will be inspired by the gift of learning.  But as I watch the other children board the bus, I find myself praying for them too:  for the ways in which Middle School can be so brutal, for the struggles at home they may be experiencing, for the pressures they face as they define their identity.  I even pray for the bus driver, and the ways in which he is the guardian of our children, even if only for a couple of hours a day.

I imagine there are opportunities for expanding prayer for all of us in everyday life.  Where have you found yourself worryingly praying for a loved one?  Who in their immediate field can you pray for too:  their coworkers, teammates, doctors and nurses?  Who are the shepherds who need your prayers too:  their bosses, coaches, ministers?  This week, in your prayers, I invite you to let your prayers expand – fan out a little further than the immediate concern on your heart.  Observe how your fanning prayers expand something inside of you too:  a larger worldview, a bit more compassion, a lot more empathy.  Then, maybe add an action:  send a note to someone, make a phone call, send a text.  I would love to hear how your expanding prayers and actions help expand your experiences with the sacred.

Sermon – Acts 1.15-17, 21-26, E7, YB, May 16, 2021

26 Wednesday May 2021

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Sermons

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apostles, bishop, discernment, disciples, election, Episcopal, God, goodness, grace, Holy Spirit, Jesus, prayer, Sermon, trust, will

I have sometimes daydreamed about the experience of liturgical freedom:  picking and choosing the scripture for a given Sunday (particularly when I need to address a specific issue), praying an extemporaneous prayer on a Sunday to address a certain topic in the church, or drafting our own liturgical experience to address a particular need.  However, as crazy as the idea may sound, I more often find freedom within our Episcopal constraints than within the endless possibilities of what could be. 

This past week was a classic example.  Last Sunday, totally unaware of the announcement I would be making on Tuesday, Bob preached about the invitation of the Resurrection being an invitation into discernment – discernment about what each of us needs to do to bring about the kingdom here on earth.  On Tuesday night, our regularly scheduled Discover Class topic, which was scheduled months ago, was focused on the structure and leadership model of the Episcopal Church, including who bishops are and how they are elected.  Then today, we get this lesson from the Acts of the Apostles in which Peter and the other apostles are attempting to replace the twelfth spot Judas left open through his death.  All that daydreaming about constructing our spiritual experiences went out the window this week when I remembered the Holy Spirit does a much better job at constructing those experiences than I ever could!

To say that this portion of the Acts of the Apostles is a divine gift is not necessarily because we happen to be talking about a bishop’s election this week just as the apostles are talking about an election of sorts.  In fact, what the apostles are doing is the opposite of an election.  No one asks Matthias or Justus to go through an interview process or offer their vision of leadership for the next decade.  Instead, their criteria are pretty simple.  First, the replacement should be someone who knows Jesus personally.  Second, they want to honor their ancestral roots in the twelve tribes of Israel – eleven apostles will not suffice.[i]  Third, their decision is rooted in prayer.  And finally, their decision is based on trust in the will of God.  Nowadays, we might think the casting of lots is a little too random and could lead to a poor appointment of leadership – I mean when was the last time we selected a Rector, Warden, or Committee Chair by flipping a coin?  But according to New Testament scholar Kathy Grieb, the casting of lots is “an ancient biblical practice for determining God’s will…”[ii]

Hearing about all the coincidences in our last week, from talking about discernment, to the structure of the Episcopal Church, to the selection of the last apostle, may be intriguing or even amusing, but may also leave you asking, “So, what?  What does all of this have to do with me or my experience of Hickory Neck, or even more broadly, with Jesus?”  As I have reflected on these coincidences – or as Carl Jung referred to them as instances of “synchronicity” or “meaningful coincidence”[iii] – I see an invitation for all of us from Peter.  First is an invitation to recall our identity.  We are a community whose historic identity has been about weathering change – whether it was the identity crisis created by the Revolutionary War, the replacement of a faith community by schools and hospitals for over a century, to reclaiming and expanding our land to become a church again, to surviving a global pandemic.  The possibility of a change in clergy – a very small possibility at that – does not alter the fact that we are a community rooted in Jesus’ love, shining our light on this Holy Hill for almost three centuries.  Second is an invitation into prayer:  prayer for the Hickory Neck Community, prayer for your Rector, and prayer for the Diocese of Iowa and the other candidates.  Our hurt, our frustration, our fear, and our joy can be left at the feet of Christ in prayer.  When given the space, prayer can do much more than we can imagine.  And finally, our invitation this week is to trust in God.  We may not always like what God does – I am pretty sure the apostles would much rather have not been trying to figure out a leadership model in Jesus’ absence.  But we do know that God is faithful, and, in time, God leads us to goodness and grace.  I do not know where the next couple of months will lead us.  But I do know if we can stay rooted in our identity, in prayer, and in our faith in God, we will come out stronger disciples for Jesus, strengthened to take on whatever “meaningful coincidences” the Holy Spirit throws our way.  Amen.


[i] Noel Leo Erskine, “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Year B, Vol. 2 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 528.

[ii] A. Katherine Grieb, “Exegetical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Year B, Vol. 2 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 531.

[iii] Carl G. Jung, Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle (Princeton:  Princeton University Press, 2012), 44, as cited at https://artsofthought.com/2020/05/30/carl-jung-synchronicity/ on May 14, 2021.

On Hope, Sobriety, and Better Angels…

20 Wednesday Jan 2021

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in reflection

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baptismal covenant, better angels, dignity, God, grace, hope, Inauguration, nation, prayer, president, sober

Photo credit: https://www.juneauempire.com/life/living-growing-the-better-angels-of-our-nature/

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.  ~Abraham Lincoln, Inaugural Address, March 4, 1861

This morning, as we await the inauguration of our next President, I find myself equally sober and hopeful.  I am sober today because I am still reeling from the attempted insurrection in our Capitol Building just weeks ago.  That event signaled to me how much damage has been done to the fabric of our nation – how divided we have become, how hateful we have become, and how far we have strayed from our baptismal promise to respect the dignity of every human being.  I am sober because I know simply changing Presidents will not magically solve the division that took many years of cultivation.  We have much truth telling and healing to do. 

But my sobriety is balanced with hope.  Again, I have this hope not because I think our President Elect is the Messiah – we already have one of those!  But I am hopeful because being hopeful is the nature of being made in the image of God.  I am hopeful we will find our way back to our baptismal identity, of seeking and serving Christ in all persons, and striving for justice and peace among all people.  I know we have a long way to go.  Our black brothers and sisters have shown us this year how far we have to go in the movement toward respecting the dignity of every human being.  But somehow, seemingly impossibly, I am hopeful.

I was reminded today of the quote above from Abraham Lincoln’s first inaugural address, given on the brink of Civil War.  He had no idea what the future held and how our nation almost fell apart – and the very long road it would take (and is still taking) to recover.  But even then, on the cusp of some of our darkest times as a nation, Lincoln was convinced that we had better angels of our nature.  Perhaps that is where my hope comes from today too.  I am convinced that we have better angels still, and that, with God’s grace, we will be touched again by the better angels of our nature.  That is my prayer for all of us today!

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